Day-in-day-out, whenever I listen to random conversations of people and analyse them, I do realize that more than half is full of complains. People are always complaining. Complaining so much they barely notice that they are always complaining. Nagging. Criticizing. Complaining. Blaming. Gossiping. 24/7. Barely can you go a moment without talking to them and hearing them complain about something or someone.
Here is a list of things I have noticed about people who complain a lot;
This I know for a fact; people who gossip with you gossip about you. People who complain about others to you also complain about you to others. Don’t be happy to be hearing them rant about what someone else did or didn’t do. One day, it will be you.
Another thing I’ve realised. People who have the habit of complaining have a fault-finding ability. They can detect fault where there was none. They can conjure something to blame. It will amaze you. “I don’t like the weather in this area at all. What is this? It must be the government o. Instead of them building hospitals in these remote areas so that the sick can be attended to, they have left them and now the sick people have coughed so much and ruined this beautiful weather”. Complainers are expert-conjurists.
People who complain all the time blame everyone and everything else except them. It’s the weather. The education system. The education minister. The government. The trotro drivers. The contractors. The road. The children of today. The TV adverts. The so-called Christians. The religious people. However, when they fall short in their actions or inactions, they give excuses by blaming other things or other people. It’s the weather. The education system. The education minister. The government. Such people are never to blame, even for their own decisions. Immediately they blame themselves, they will quickly switch up and blame someone or something else.
People who complain oversimplify solutions. Since no one is doing it right and everyone is to blame except them, it only makes sense that they alone have the right and simple solution. “Oh it’s just a matter of destroying all guns in the world. So simple.” “What they have to do is sack all the government officials. Everybody. They should sack everyone and re-elect new ones”. “We should ban all makeup kits. Children of today are looking like descendants of Jezebel. The ports should ban all makeup kits. That’s all!”.
People who complain a lot think it is right to complain a lot. Some ladies have an archaic mindset that as a lady, they need to nag. If they don’t complain about what you do, it means they don’t care about you anymore. Solomon said it twice that it is better to be alone – sleep on the rooftop, live in the desert – than to live with a nagging wife. If there’s an issue, there’s a way to address it -diplomatically. There’s a way to discuss the problem with the person without making the person the problem. Nobody likes to feel like the problem.
It’s not wrong to complain. It’s not necessarily right to complain either. It’s definitely annoying to complain all the time. Barely is any problem solved by complaining. In most cases, it only triggers negative feelings between the complainer and the person being blamed.
Yes, complains have its place and there’s a way to go about it. However, if you’re gaining the attitude of a complainer; always backbiting, fault-finding, blaming, over-simplifying solutions and nagging, then you’re not helping anybody. So before you complain, ask yourself, “what am I trying to achieve?”.