Who am I? A relevant question that anyone can ask themselves, no matter their age. It’s a question that can leave you frustrated, however, if you don’t search for the answer early on in life. Inasmuch as it’s an unending well of discovery, – some of your actions much later in life will still continue to shock you – understanding just an iota of solid truth concerning your identity can be life-fulfilling.
Since You Are Who You Are and You Are Who You Are Not, removing the impurities of identity confusion is equally important. Who you are is not manufactured. It already exists. It is only discovered. Your identity unfolds before your eyes and resonates within you as you journey through life. What we fail to realize is that we are like all other people, like some other people and like no other person. Let’s dive in.
We Are Like All Other People
How am I like? I am like everyone else. Differences spring from similarities. Look around you, it’s the order of nature. Different children coming from the same womb, different rivers flowing from the same source, different plants sprouting from the same ground. In fact, everything can be traced all the way back to having the same source. Our identity is no different. We are first of all like everyone else before we can be like no one else. In the broader picture, we are like each other. We all have the same basic needs and instincts. There are several instances where human behaviour is so predictable that basically everyone will behave the same or in a similar manner in a given circumstance, given the same conditions.
As individuals, we fancy the idea that we are special. There’s nobody like us. We are different, in our own world, in our own lane. Then we face a situation that makes us realize we are not that special. We are not as fanciful as we thought we were. The truth is, we are special, just like everybody else. “Special” doesn’t mean you’re different and everyone else is the same. Everyone is special. Everyone is unique, individually. How can you be special if everyone is also special? Doesn’t that put everyone on the same stage again and defy the meaning of the word? Well, only if you judged your uniqueness by comparing yourself to others.
Scientifically, how we are like everyone else is our biogenic nature. Neurophysiologically, all humans are the same. We all want the same basic things in life, from the hardest criminal to the most innocent civilian; to minimize pain and maximize pleasure. Our choices and decisions towards this goal and what pain and pleasure means to us individually is what creates the differences. Metaphorically speaking, we all have the same book but we are all not on the same page. We all need love, attention, appreciation, affection, and everything else on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. However, what it looks like to us and how we want it defers from one individual to the other.
We Are Like Some Other People
How am I like? I am like some other people. How we are like some other people is our sociogenic nature or second nature. It is more about how we relate with others. The socio-cultural aspect of ourselves. It’s about your habits, attitudes, temperaments, preferences and behaviors; how we are, where we live and how we were brought up. Whether we admit it or not, there’s a way females behave that cut across board. There’s a way blacks behave. A way evangelicals behave. You may not notice because you are a part of it, but others you’re observing from the outside see it clearly. It starts from a broader grouping like perhaps how an entire nation behaves, all the way down to how a family behaves.
Your individuality and ability to conform cannot be separated. They go hand-in-hand, just like how your soul draws your body and spirit together. We are social beings. We were designed to belong. Our sense of belonging is so central to our wellbeing that feelings of belonging influence an individual’s identity and the extent to which they feel accepted, valued and able to take on a role in society. Once in a while, the universe brings us into contact with people who are likeminded, who share the same mindsets and have the same weird ideologies. These encounters can live us in shock. We thought we were the only ones who believe that or disbelieved that, liked or disliked that. But here we are, with a “stranger” who holds the same virtues, values and opinions emphatically.
Have you ever met someone you instantly connected to? After meeting the person for one or two times, something clicks. You definitely know for sure that that’s the kind of person you need to be rolling with in your life. You can try this experiment. Go to a place where you don’t know anyone and stay there for a while – another country, another school, another city. After a considerable amount of time, your circle will still be a reflection of the kind of person you are. All your close friends are like you in some way. As a matter of fact, this is a well-known concept and I can’t stress enough on it. The people you have around you are a representation of who you are.
This is a good enough reason to surround yourself with good people. Just like how you live an imprint of your DNA on anything you touch, our identities rub off on each other. Others are rubbed so hard that they pick up another’s identity as theirs. One terrible mistake people tend to make is that they pick the idiosyncratic nature of their role model or the person they look up to. See, you’re allowed to be like someone else, but not to the point of losing your unique nature. It’s natural to admire and aspire to be like how someone is like. But don’t lose your originality and try to be someone’s counterfeit copy.
We Are Like No Other Person
How am I like? I am like no one else. One funny thing about humans is how we so easily complicate simple matters. When it’s right side up, we tend to turn it upside down. This is no different. People can argue about how they are different from everyone else when you talk about they being like everyone else. When it finally comes to how they are different from everyone else, they tend to struggle to know their own unique style and lifestyle. I think this is because everything in life is intertwined and it’s difficult to separate conjoined things. Thus, not everyone discovers how they are different from everybody else. We don’t even know why we do the things we do, sociogenically.
Your uniqueness is tied to the intention of your design. That is, we are not just a bunch of personality traits. There is that inner being that draws people to you. That makes people love you. Sooner or later, everything you need externally will find you. Destiny will find you. Your path will find you. Purpose will find you. Your circle will find you. But it’s up to you to realize that this is it. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, you wouldn’t know whether you’ve found it or not. Finding yourself and what resonates with you is a matter looking for the roots rather than the fruits. What is underneath what is underneath? It is about finding the source of the river, not the river itself. If you find the source, you can connect to the ecosystem of Life everlasting.
Isn’t it amazing that for all people who have ever lived, are alive and will ever live, there is only one YOU? There is nobody like you and there’ll never be anyone like you. That’s true authenticity; a kind of perfection that can only be divinely orchestrated. Yes, you may have the same nose as your parents, the same handwriting as a stranger or even the same interest as a friend, but you’re unique and there’s none like you. No one comes close to being you. They can be like you, you can be like them, but you’re holy, consecrated, set apart, unique. There is none like you. None can be compared to you. There’s only one kind of you, beautifully and wonderfully made. Empathically, you have a unique fingerprint like everyone else does, and you leave an imprint like no one else can.