It has been said that in this life, it’s either you are going through a hard time, coming out of hard times or about to go through hard times. It’s an abysmal way of looking at life. We usually act as if we are either in good times or bad times when we are usually simultaneously in both. It may be going well financially but your marital life will be struggling. Home may be going well but your business may be struggling. It may be a wedding season but people are still dying and will need to be buried. What is my point? The phases of life are not one-dimensional. We all go through several phases at a time in different areas of the same life we are living. As such, I have written 3 things you need to remember no matter the phase you find yourself in;
1. Don’t rush to leave any season. You will miss the one you are in right now.
No one is born financially independent, for instance. Then you reach a phase in your life where you can cater for yourself with little support. However, you will find children that are 100% dependent on their parents who “can’t wait to get rich”. You don’t even know what it means to be financially independent yet. Enjoy being taken care of while it lasts, for God’s sake.
Single women who can’t wait to marry? My dear, you are going to wish you were single. You better enjoy singlehood while it lasts. I don’t know but there is this hasty feeling of always wishing for a season we ought to be patiently waiting for. Whatever privilege you see that comes with a phase, also comes with a responsibility. If you can’t carry the responsibility yet, don’t wish for the privilege. But this is what we usually do; we compare the responsibilities of the current phase to the privileges of the next phases, forgetting that there are privileges in this current phase that will not exist in the next phase and responsibilities in the next phases that do not exist now. You can’t wait to have children of your own? Haha. You wait and see.
2. Don’t make decisions based on current phases
In the delusion of social compatibility today, some go in for partners they think they are compatible with. However, you are making a decision that is meant to last the rest of your life based on a particular phase that can be gone. No wonder we hear people falling out of love as if love is a castle in the air. Their love was based on a particular phase of the person’s beauty or financial stance. To make great decisions, be visionary. See beyond the current phase. The Pinocchio you see today will turn out to be Prince Charming. You can only see that when you are a visionary. Don’t judge him based on his current phase. You are rubbishing an investment opportunity today because you are being myopic. You need to see the future.
As a young person, you see your entire future ahead of you. So many possibilities and opportunities. As you grow older to your 40s, you don’t know whether the decisions you made were the very best. Is your future behind you or still ahead? Because the possibilities begin to narrow down. This is the stage where a lot of people end up in a mid-life crisis. Why? Their imagination never really reached that far. As a youth, all they saw was the mountaintop. They never really imagined their lives beyond the other side of the mountain. If they had, it would have influenced some of the decisions they made along the way. You dated Kofi because he has a great smile but you obviously wouldn’t imagine being married to him in your 60s when the kids are all grown and are no longer home. You didn’t. It’s creepy, even.
Yet I tell you this for a fact; great people are intentional about their decisions because they see beyond the fog of delusion into the distant future of reality before reality hits. That is a true vision.
3. Don’t take decisions to please people who may not be around to see the final phases
If you choose a career to please your father, your father will be gone but you will still have to bear the predicaments of that simple decision you made. Changing a career means starting from scratch, so you are more likely to be stuck with the “consequences” of a long-term decision that you just made. Whoever you are wanting to please may not actually be there to see the fruit of your decision, sadly. You married Araba because your mom likes Fante girls. Please don’t do that. Weighty decisions need weighty convictions. If the reason for making that choice is too light, it doesn’t make you firm enough to stand by the decision through the test of time.
So don’t even make a decision to please a friend. That friend may not be there in the next phase but the repercussions of that decision still live with you. Even worse, your friend can condemn a decision that they were commending in a previous phase. Do you want to quit your job because your friends say they don’t pay well? My friend, in the next 5 years your friends will be the same people hyping the same job for paying you well. Don’t take people too seriously. They just be saying anything. Stay true to those weighty convictions.
Well, that is enough wisdom for this week. Thank you so much for reading and sharing. I simply can’t thank you guys enough. Resonance is truly grateful.