Resonance

Category: Depression

  • Fear: A Good Servant or A Bad Master?

    Fear: A Good Servant or A Bad Master?

    “For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind”
    2 Timothy 1:7

    One thing that has a force equal to passion and yet as sublime as insecurities is fear. No matter how intelligent you are; no matter how popular you are; no matter how religious you are; if you don’t know how to deal with your fear, your fear will know how to deal with you. Fear is as personal as our interests. My fears are unique and so are yours. In fact, my fears are so unique that defines where my interests lies, shapes what my beliefs are and influences how I see myself.

    Yes. Fear can be self-imposed, inherited or even adopted, but there’s a fear within us that is a tangible part of us. As humans, it is proven that we are born with two types of phobias; fear of loud noises – that explains why children cover their ears so hard when they anticipate a loud noise – and the fear of falling, and that all other phobias are learnt. Yet there’s a fear within us that is a tangible part of us.

    Isn’t it amazing that a child can play with a sharp knife or can crawl straight into an exposed fire? Perhaps, it’s amazing but it’s definitely stupid. That’s why fear exists. Fear is a natural instinct meant to protect us from harm. When there’s an unidentified danger, everyone in the right frame of mind would first of all run in the opposite direction. Fear is the guard of your life. The easiest way to foolishly die is to be fearless.

    Take a minute to think about the many times the fear within you saved your life. It kept you from passing that dark alley. It stopped you from picking that taxi. It made you stay instead of being in a hurry to leave. It made you leave hurriedly instead of staying. We ought to be grateful to our innate fear. It cautioned us without reason or explanation. This is certainly not what you thought I’d say about fear. Contrary to popular belief, fearlessness is more dangerous and stupider than innate fear.

    So did God actually give us a spirit of fear? Good question. Imagine you standing by your mom, all smiley and all. Now imagine you being kidnapped right in front of your mom. Does she look afraid? Of course. What’s the point? Fear is a good servant but a bad master. Love should be the master and let fear serve you. When fear is made the master, it distorts your reality, darkens your perspective, shatters your dreams, downgrades your abilities, lowers your self-esteem and weakens your confidence.

    In other words, it basically plays it safe. Safe Mode. Fear being the master is overprotective. It will keep you from trying out new things, stepping into new territories and having new experiences. Fear as a master makes you a slave, keeps reminding you of your failures so that you don’t dare to try again. Fear usually makes us think we have no choice. Fear wants to control everything. Fear is more interested in you surviving than living.

    “What if you take risk and it puts your life at risk? You can’t do it so don’t even try. What if you fail? What if you succeed and you cannot keep up with the pressure?”.
    A life ruled by fear is a life filled with unnecessary precautions and no actions.

    NB: When your fear poses questions of life that needs solid answers to you, then your fear is your servant. When your fear does not allow you to even think of questioning the status quo even when you know something must be wrong, then fear has been made a master. Innate fear does not put in bondage; it protects you from unknown bondage. When fear is put in charge, you become a slave of yourself, a slave to a reality that does not even exist. It’s all in your head.

    So then, what do I do with my fear? Use it. Pay attention to what your fear is paying attention to. Fear is an insignia. Once you have tackled why you fear, what you fear loses its relevance. The more you ignore your fears, the more persistent it becomes in drawing your attention to the problem. Fear is the stop sign in our lives. It is always disapproving, preventing and avoiding. So never think there will be no fear. Fear will faithfully serve you as long as you live. Just make sure you don’t make fear your master.

    When Love leads, there is no timidity. Love deposits the power of choice right within you. Love makes us responsible for our choices. Love is freedom. Love gives us a sense of peace and clarity. Love makes us accept what we can’t control and govern what we can control. Love does not control fear. Love governs fear.

    I love you ❤

  • I Sleep because I Can’t Come and Go and Come and Kill Myself

    I always wondered why we needed to sleep every day. Can’t it be like an annual thing? That should tell you something. Humans spend at least a quarter of their lives being asleep. It’s the most activity you would ever do with your life. If you are around 20, you may have slept for a total sum of 5 years already. It’s not a waste of time, to be honest. It’s the most important activity of your body. That’s why if you choose not to sleep for a couple of days, your hypothalamus will automatically induce it.

    Priorities & Productivity

    So prioritize sleep. Sleep deprivation can literally kill you. If sleep didn’t exist, life would have been about 90% shorter than it already is. See sleep as your body’s way of extending your life. If it was really a priority, it wouldn’t be the first thing you cut off when there’s a deadline. People spend an average of 3 hours a day on their phones but it’s the 6 hours of sleep they want to cut off to work productively. Don’t make it a habit of draining yourself to the point of exhaustion like a low battery.

    The most productive people have a good sleep life. It’s not the lack of sleep that makes you a workaholic. There are so many unnecessary activities in the day you could have done away with. Yet, you chose to cut off your sleep time. Lazy people are not those who sleep the most. Lazy people are those who get bored easily and lose focus. It takes mental discipline to be resilient and productive, not lack of sleep. In fact, adequate sleep makes you a better human being; physically, spiritually, mentally. There are more benefits of sleep than any other physical activity.

    Glorification of Struggle

    There is so much unnoticed glorification of struggle in our society. It’s pretty weird that people boast about how tired they are and how much they have suffered. People can just gather around to talk about how they’ve suffered more as compared to others. Subconsciously, we think that if we struggle, we are destined to succeed. It doesn’t necessarily work that way. It may also account for belittling things people do with effortlessness, like artistic works. The surest end-product of struggle is exhaustion. That’s for sure.

    Yes, something good can come out something bad, but that doesn’t mean the bad thing was something good. If I jump off a cliff and people donate to save my life and I end up rich, it doesn’t mean it was good I jumped off the cliff. Please note that, and avoid unnecessary struggles in your life, hoping something good may come out of it.

    Lions sleep 18-20 hours a day, yet they are the king of the jungle. It’s not about how much time you spent working. It’s about how much time you were productive. Effort only counts in areas that are necessary. We can spend so much time trying to fix something insignificant that we are out of time to do the needful. Remember that energy rises, peaks and falls. Make sure you are pouring it into an area that counts.

  • Ineffable

    Those who mind don’t matter

    Those who matter don’t mind

    Who said so?

    I mind, remind my mind

    The mind is matter

    So tell me the matter

    What’s on your mind?

    It’s ineffable!

    Actions speak louder than words

    but actions are hard to interpret

    Your words are your words

    They hurt more with each resounding memory

    Why did you say what you said?

    It’s ineffable!

    I say I really don’t know, I wind

    but you say what do you mean? Define

    There’s a reason behind everything

    but can we explain everything we do?

    My mistakes don’t define me.

    My mistakes, don’t remind me.

    I’m not here to prove myself. That’s how I am? Reputation doesn’t matter.

    What matters is you.

    It’s ineffable!

    Gravity holds back my fears

    Brevity holds up my tears

    We stained our flower

    I dimmed the charm

    but wait…there’s still a sparkle

    though your heart sometimes bleeds

    the love still remains

    It’s ineffable!

    we’ll never be the same again

    It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness.

    We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.

    But now we can’t underestimate our peace.

    Come, hold my hands.

    The healing rain is about to begin.

    I hope you’re not afraid

    I love you ❤️

  • Everyone Hurts

    There’s so much hurt in the world. There’s too much pain. Everyone hurts. Sometimes we may not have enough time to cry but we bleed anyways. Some don’t just go around exposing their vulnerability and be looking for sympathizers in their situation, though some others do.

    The mental trauma and instability is so alarming that being rude to anyone at all – even those we think we know so much – is stupendously uncalled for. Don’t be part of the problem. Be the light that shines in the darkness.

    People are going through so much. You are going through so much. Don’t isolate yourself into thinking you’re the only one. But guess what? One random act of kindness brings mutual healing. Hug somebody. Mind somebody. Love somebody. They need it, yes! But you need it too.

    I love you ❤️

  • Jack & Jill: A Uni Love Story

    Jack & Jill: A Uni Love Story

    Jill was a freshman in college who is dating an older guy named Jack. She has worn her heart all over her sleeve in this relationship. She has told him (and he has told her) that they will be married someday. They’ve talked of family, dreams, careers, homes, and everything they possibly can. Because they believe they will end up married, they have had a really hard time keeping the relationship pure. I think they just might make it because I see how much they love each other.

    But right now, Jack is barely interested in pursuing her, and they are taking a “break” from the relationship. He’s more interested in his band, his friends and his future. Why shouldn’t he be? He already has her right where he wants her.

    She is heartbroken and finds it difficult to wake up in the morning. She is experiencing some of the pain that comes because she made choices characteristic of the “crash and burn” in the area of her conduct. She is as committed to him as if she were married to him and finds herself unsatisfied. In having everything she wanted in the relationship very quickly, she found herself in a period where she has nothing of the relationship. She forgot that she was single. She forgot that she belongs to herself and God during this season of her life.

    Learn from Jill. If the state still recognizes you as single, don’t live like a married couple. If you give all your heart to a guy so early, he’d stop pursuing you soon enough because there’s nothing more left for him to keep on pursuing. Never open your legs to someone who doesn’t know your heart; never open your heart to someone who doesn’t know your mind.

    I love you ❤️