Resonance

Category: Empathy

  • Edification, Exhortation & Comfort : God’s Architecture of Grace

    We all get tired. Even the strongest believers sometimes feel drained. Some feel stuck. Others begin to gradually lose interest and give up. Many get sick and tired of being tired and sick. Even leaders and pastors who spend their lives strengthening others can often find themselves empty. God, in His wisdom, has built a spiritual system to keep His people from collapsing in the vicissitudes of life. He designed a divine rhythm for the soul; edification, exhortation, and comfort. It is God’s healing system for the whole person (spirit, soul, and body) and the whole Body. It is how He keeps His family standing, growing, and enduring until the end. Next week, we will talk about the Mystery of Encouragement but for now, let’s establish the doctrinal side of it.

    Edification: Increasing Our Capacity

    The word edify comes from the Greek oikodomeō which means to build up. It is the act of strengthening, forming, and maturing until a life becomes stable. Spiritually, edification is God’s way of stretching our capacity to carry His life. When you are edified, something within you expands. Your faith deepens, your understanding widens, and your endurance strengthens. You become more capable of carrying divine weight.

    “And now, brethren, I commend you to God, and to the word of His grace, which is able to build you up.” (Acts 20:32)

    God builds us through teaching, truth, and time. Like a master builder laying one stone after another, He establishes your inner man until you can contain more of His strength, more of His wisdom, and more of His people. We do not grow by accident. We grow because the Spirit keeps laying stone upon stone, truth upon truth, grace upon grace. Edification is how God turns the fragile into giants.

    Exhortation: Increasing Our Expectation

    Once you have been built up, you must be stirred up. Exhortation comes from the Greek paraklēsis which means to call near, to urge, to appeal. It is the voice from Heaven that says, “Do not give up. Lift your eyes again.”Sometimes you know the truth, but you no longer expect it to happen. You are built up but not stirred up. That is when the Spirit exhorts. He calls you near, speaks courage into your heart, and rekindles anticipation for what God will yet do.

    “Let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works… exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24–25)


    Exhortation raises your expectation. It awakens the dormant parts of your faith. It moves you from “I know” to “I believe again.” Through a message, a friend, or the quiet whisper of the Holy Spirit, God exhorts His children to rise. The fire may be small, but exhortation breathes upon it until it burns bright again.

    Comfort: Increasing Our Threshold

    Comfort is not about removing pain. It is about raising the threshold to endure it. Comfort comes from paramuthia, meaning to speak closely, to console, to strengthen. It is the tender voice of God in the midst of trial.

    “Blessed be God, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforteth us in all our tribulation.” (2 Corinthians 1:3–4)

    When life feels unbearable, the Comforter sits beside you. He does not scold you for weeping. He stays with you through it. Comfort increases your threshold, your ability to face tomorrow without collapsing today. The comfort of God is not sentimental. It is strengthening. It restores your equilibrium, renews your peace, and brings sanity back to your soul. Comfort does not make life easier. It makes you stronger.

    God’s System for the Prosperity of your Soul

    This threefold process of edification, exhortation, and comfort is God’s divine therapy for the believer. It is how He balances spiritual maturity with emotional wellbeing. It is how He keeps your spirit sharp, your faith alive, and your heart tender. Built up, stirred up, and held up. That is the full rhythm of what I call God’s architecture of Grace.

    God never intended anyone to walk alone. From Eden to the early Church, His answer to human needs has always been another person. He builds through teaching and discipleship. He stirs through encouragement and prophecy. He heals through companionship and compassion.

    > “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” (Proverbs 27:17)
    “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

    When you isolate yourself, you disconnect from this system. Isolation dries the soul. Even pastors need edification. Even prophets need exhortation. Even apostles need comfort. God’s love often comes disguised as a friend who refuses to give up on you, a mentor who speaks correction where you don’t see one, or a circle of friends who simply sits with you in silence. His help usually comes with a human face. A true Word from God will always carry this triadic essence. It will build, stir, and heal. When you stay in fellowship, you stay within God’s healing cycle. The Church is not a club of perfect people but a living organism through which grace circulates. Each believer is both a receiver and a dispenser of Grace.

    “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

    You are God’s instrument of renewal to someone else. Your word, your prayer, your listening ear may be Heaven’s hand to a weary soul. And in your own day of need, that same grace will return to you through others.

    God’s Architecture of Grace

    Edification increases your capacity to grow. Exhortation raises your expectation to believe. Comfort strengthens your threshold to endure. Together, they form the architecture of grace, the system by which the Spirit constructs, energises, and heals His people. When God builds you, He does not only strengthen your spirit. He heals your mind, renews your emotions, and strengthens your endurance. We are built to last, established to be immovable and in a system that will preserve until you finish your race.

    So when you feel weary, do not withdraw. Do not hide your pain. You may be tired, but you are not alone. The same Spirit that builds, stirs, and comforts is reaching for you still to help you stand until the end.

  • How To Understand Women

    How To Understand Women

    Life without females would be a pain in the ass, literally! Though they make situations a bit more difficult than they’re supposed to be, they make life much more interesting than it would have been. They add a little more extra everywhere. They may be a little more extreme but definitely quite distinct and super amazing. To be very honest, understanding them is a hoax but hey, at least I made an effort – like the gazillion number of men before me who successfully failed to crack the code.

    Women love attention

    We each have the desire to be loved and accepted. Abraham Maslow recognized this in his Pyramid of needs and identified it as a social need. No matter who you are, you belong to something. Women do have a strong sense of belonging. Though not every lady wants to be in the spotlight, they would love to have your attention provided you treat them right. The more you make them feel special – like they are the centre of the universe, like there is no other person but them – the more they’d love your company.

    Women care 1000% about diction

    They say, “Men are moved by what they see, but women are moved by what they hear.” There is an iota of truth in that. No matter how a lady likes you, she’d still want you to initiate; you’d still have to “sweet talk” with her; you’d still have to treat her right. Whether the lady will become offended or feel the love, it all depends on your choice of words. Once you make the wrong choice of word in a conversation, she’d expect that you apologize. She may even understand what you’re trying to say, but you’d still have to say it.

    Women love to be right

    Women are very intuitive. They listen to their intuition more than men do. Sometimes they just know that something is wrong beyond all reasonable doubt. Women may not always be right, but they are never wrong. She has all the right in the world to tell you that they tried to tell you yet you wouldn’t listen, but don’t dare try to tell her that. A wise man once said, “As a man, when you’re wrong, apologize; when you’re right, shut up.” A man who loves to always be right is seen by women as proud and egotistic. A woman who loves to be always right is simply being a woman.

    Women are empathic

    No matter how hard a woman becomes, she still has a soft spot. Of course, at the beginning she may a very nut to crack but spending time with her alone softens her heart towards you. The average lady is very emotional. Funny enough, if a guy had the same amount of mood swings a lady had in a single day, he’d be seen as psychopathic and may be on medication for having split personality disorders. When offended, she doesn’t get pissed, she gets mad. The psychophysiology of males and females are distinct. Women have a different kind of logic. When you talk to her, she listens to what is not being said. That’s why good mothers are good listeners.

    Women know what they DON’T want but may not know what they want

    There is nothing that two people in love cannot do except – of course – deciding where to eat. In a relationship, barely would a woman make the vital decisions.

    She’d tell you what to do, but if it fails she’d blame you because you took the decision. Women seldom know what they want yet they may complain bitterly about what they have.

    Whether it’s a house design or sex life, they’d express how they dislike the current state and then expect you to know what to do. They have a strong desire for what they want. When they see what they want, they’d know. Confused? Don’t worry. Women themselves know it’s confusing because they don’t even understand themselves. How can you know what you don’t want and still not know what you really want?

    What exactly do they want? That is a puzzle that the guy has to solve.

    Ladies, is this true? Guys, do you agree with me? Let’s see your comments. Will deffo have to continue with this. Hope you enjoyed it! Don’t forget to like and share. By the way, this is all meant to be fun. Please don’t be mad at me, O woman in thine period. I know all these doesn’t necessarily apply to all women, of course! Please don’t insult me. Thanks 😂

    I love you

  • Parenthood 303: How To Show Approval To Your Child – Why Is It Important?

    Approval is a small word but carries substantial weight. To be more specific, a parent’s approval carries substantial weight in their child’s life. Are you a parent who constantly criticises or disapproves of your child’s choices or performance? Do you constantly dismiss your child’s opinion? If you have answered yes to any of the questions….click on the link below to read more 👇

    How To Show Approval To Your Child – Why Is It Important?

  • Love One Another

    And now I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34 GNB

    Romans 5:5 says, “This hope does not disappoint us, for God has poured out his love into our hearts by means of the Holy Spirit, who is God’s gift to us.”

    Someone may ask now; how will I get this Love of God to love people?

    The Love of God is not far-fetched. It has been poured and is continually being poured into our hearts till we love all people with this very love. When someone is giving you a hard time, your prayer shouldn’t be that God should punish them so that they see their offence. Your prayer should be that God should pour more of His Love for them into your heart. The truth is this: brotherly love, romantic love and parental love – they all get tired and wear out eventually. The Love of God is eternal and continually renews within you.

    love one another

    You can only love one another with the Love of God when you have experienced this Love of God for yourself. And no one in the world can say that nobody in this world loves them – though that’s one of the commonest lies the enemy tells us – for we have all tasted of God’s sweet liquid Love. Oh, how sweet! When He pours His liquid Love into my heart; that is the greatest pleasure in the world.

    Whenever we love one another with the Love of God, the Love of God in their hearts reignites too. We cannot love without the Love of God. Whatever we genuinely love, even if it’s a career or hobby, aircraft or reading, we love it with the Love of God. That’s why regardless of what happens to us when we’re doing something we genuinely love with the Love of God, we’re not in despair.

    So I want you to be conscious of all good things. May your consciousness fill up with only thoughts that put a smile on your face. Learn to worship God in your everyday life. Set your affections towards God. Every other thing wears us out, trust me. Loving is effortless. Whenever you find that you’re struggling with Love, pray to the LORD in you. Learn to go on your knees more. Cultivate that habit. It makes your life more refreshed and purposeful. Now you understand when I always end my message with this;

    I love you ❤

  • Why You Should Listen More

    Why You Should Listen More

    Why should you listen twice as much as you speak; because you have two ears and one mouth? Perhaps, so. This is what my intuition taught me;

    When you speak, you only consolidate what you already know. But when you listen, you receive something new.

    Whether it’s just an opinion, an idea, a view, perspective or fact, truth, knowledge, experience, insight, we always learn something new when we listen. The Bible says, “at the mouth of two or three witnesses, a fact is established.” (Matt 18:16, 2 Cor 13:1, Deut 19:15). That means even if you’re listening to what you already know, you establish it. And who doesn’t love confirmation?

    The more you speak, the more you expose your ignorance.

    When you speak for long, instead of expressing your knowledge, you rather expose your ignorance. The Bible says, “the more you talk, the more likely you are to sin. If you’re wise, you will keep quiet.” (Prov 10:19). That is not to say that keep your ignorance to yourself. But when you bubble on and on, everybody tends to naturally lose interest in what you’re saying. That is a good sign that you should probably stop there. Communication involves listening to each other. So sometimes, ask your statements in question form and you would learn something new.

    Listening is the foundation of connection.

    Have you ever stopped to listen to birds tweet? Do you remember how you became friends with so-and-so person? Have you ever fallen in love with a song so much that you play it over and over? The underlying question is, how did you connect? By listening. And the more you listened effortlessly with the ears of your heart, the more you connected. This is because when we listen, we become vulnerable enough for the heart to connect directly.

    Listen to the sermon. Listen to your parents. Listen to your tutors. Listen to nature. Listen to good music. Listen to trusted friends. Listen to yourself. Listen to God. And by doing so, you not only learn something knew, you connect. This is true humanity; A childlike vulnerability that make us connect with our inner self, humanity, nature, and the divine. See how listening is such a sweet loving and important thing in our humanity. Remember; be quick to listen and slow to speak.

    My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
    James 1:19 NIV

    I love you ❤

  • What Matters to You?

    Have you ever been in a queue and see someone jump in from nowhere? What was your reaction? What matters to you at that moment?

    Virtues

    What annoys you probably shows what virtues you resonate with. Sometimes it’s not that we don’t believe in some other good virtues; it’s just that we don’t necessarily have a problem with it. Some people get really annoyed when you don’t tell them the whole truth. It wasn’t really a lie from your side so their reaction may look really exaggerated in your eyes. That’s because telling them the whole truth matters to them.

    However, it doesn’t necessarily mean they should have a problem with other seemingly related things like lying to other people they don’t care about so as to avoid they asking further questions. Sometimes you’ll find people close to you complaining a lot about something little you did, but don’t complain when others do the exact same thing to them.

    Relations

    Truth is, we don’t hold everyone to the same standards. Subconsciously, people who matter to us are expected to resonate with things that matter to us. When they don’t, therein lies all the misunderstandings. To avoid those misunderstandings, you don’t need to necessarily uphold their beliefs and virtues. What you must do is to understand what matters to them and relate to them specifically as such.

    Some people have a problem with sharing their stuff with just about anyone. Well, you don’t. You share freely. She doesn’t, so don’t try to talk her into doing so. Share yours. Leave hers to her. When it comes to things she shares with you, treat it as hers and don’t share it with others still. It’s that simple.

    Sentiments

    Understanding a person is knowing what the person resonates with, not trying to change it and accepting him/her for that, and relating with the person in that light. We all have our petty petty sentiments. The more people pay attention to these little sentiments, the more we connect with them. Sometimes it’s amazing when you get to know that an acquaintance shares the same sentiments as you.

    The real deal is knowing how to handle an issue where those close to you don’t resonate with the things that annoy you. You never know a person till you know what really gets on their nerves. Don’t assume that everyone thinks like you. What matters to you may not matter to me. In the same vein, what you’re very okay with can really annoy someone else.

    Boundaries

    If this very important issue is understood, you can relate with every human being in the world. This issue explains why some Christian-Muslim relations have worked out, and how an atheist and a theist can be best buddies. It’s not a matter of pleasing them, it’s a matter of respecting their boundaries.

    People call this adjustment, others call it compatibility. Whatever the case is, it determines the functionality of all kinds of relationships. Once we understand this issue and find the middle ground, all kinds of compatibility issues – from social to sexual to sensual – can be resolved to the detriment of none of the parties involved.

    I love you ❤️


  • Stop Raping Women

    Dear men,

    Treating a girl like shit doesn’t make you a man. It makes you more of an animal.

    Every girl has experienced sexual harassment in some form. It will shock you to know the number of girls you know that have been sexually abused. As a guy, you also know at least one guy who brags about taking advantage of girls. Therefore, this rape culture is not far-fetched. Don’t act like it’s happening elsewhere.

    You may not be the problem but make sure you’re not part of it. Stop hyping yourself for never taking advantage of a girl against her will. If you hype what is meant to be normalized, you normalize what is meant to be discouraged. Treating a girl like a human being is normal. It’s not an achievement. It’s the bare minimum.

    Don’t wait till someone rapes your relative or friend until you realize the severity of this problem. Imagine being a girl and having to be constantly taking precautions literally from birth to avoid getting raped? How about we denormalize rape? Adding insult to injury, society blames the girl for falling victim as if those who rape cannot be stopped.

    If girls don’t feel comfortable around you, you’re part of the problem. If you’re always demeaning women, you’re part of the problem. You coerce girls to do things with you, you’re part of the problem. If you still hang out with friends who undermine women, you’re still part of the problem. If your first instinct is to question what the girl did or didn’t do when she fell victim, dude you’re a BIG part of the problem.

    Stop treating women like they are some sex objects, a minority group or second-class citizens. And if you STILL don’t see where the problem is, you’re the worst part of the problem.

    If you’re not supporting the #saynotorape movement, then it speaks volumes about you. Stop avoiding the subject. Stop running away from the real issue. It’s not about what women should do anymore. The question is, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? What you’re doing is either encouraging the culture or annihilating it.

    If you still think that “real” men aren’t the problem, how about you fight side by side with women? What about that? How about you let go of those shallow-minded, unwilling-to-learn-yet-really-dumb friends you have. You have a voice. Use it!

  • Ineffable

    Those who mind don’t matter

    Those who matter don’t mind

    Who said so?

    I mind, remind my mind

    The mind is matter

    So tell me the matter

    What’s on your mind?

    It’s ineffable!

    Actions speak louder than words

    but actions are hard to interpret

    Your words are your words

    They hurt more with each resounding memory

    Why did you say what you said?

    It’s ineffable!

    I say I really don’t know, I wind

    but you say what do you mean? Define

    There’s a reason behind everything

    but can we explain everything we do?

    My mistakes don’t define me.

    My mistakes, don’t remind me.

    I’m not here to prove myself. That’s how I am? Reputation doesn’t matter.

    What matters is you.

    It’s ineffable!

    Gravity holds back my fears

    Brevity holds up my tears

    We stained our flower

    I dimmed the charm

    but wait…there’s still a sparkle

    though your heart sometimes bleeds

    the love still remains

    It’s ineffable!

    we’ll never be the same again

    It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness.

    We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.

    But now we can’t underestimate our peace.

    Come, hold my hands.

    The healing rain is about to begin.

    I hope you’re not afraid

    I love you ❤️

  • Can You Feel That Connection?

    Have you ever met someone in your life that you feel you’ve known all your life? Have you ever felt so close to someone though you don’t really know them so you’re willing to know them? Have you ever felt the same about someone for so long a time that you know for sure that it’s something real? One word explains it all; connection.

    There are more connections in the human body than there are stars in the galaxy.

    It’s certainly magical to establish a connection with someone but sometimes it’s just difficult, especially with someone you are “supposed to” get along with. This is because connection is mutual. It ought to fit, just as a plug fits in a socket. It doesn’t have to make all the sense in the world. In fact, it needs no words to explain it because there’s none.

    There are some people that we’re gonna meet in the future that we wish we had met earlier. There are some people that we’re gonna meet that we’d feel we’ve known them all our lives, because the interconnectedness is so strong. What we must know about connection is that connection is energy. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but translates from one form to another.

    Our energy fields react differently with people we have connection with. Thus, we connect with different people differently. Sometimes we’re not able to understand our connection with some people and we think we don’t like them. But once we make the mutual connection, our perceptions change and we experience a new reality together with them.

    Connection can therefore go beyond space and time since it’s energy. You can connect more with someone in 3 months more than someone you’ve known for 3 years. You may not see someone for 3 years but still feel the strong connection you have with them. Some connections however need time, but once symbiosis is established, it can last a lifetime.

    Why is it important to know what connects us? Because what connects us is the binding agent of our relationship. So go out there and connect. Connect with God. Connect with your innermost self. Connect with nature. Connect with family. Connect with friends. Connect with the world.

    I love you ❤️

  • Love Yourself: Love Is In The Air, Breathe It All In

    Love Yourself: Love Is In The Air, Breathe It All In

    Love is a constant tangible experience of His outpour of Himself. Love is in the air. We have heard “God loves you” many times, but until it is fruitfully experienced by the sayer, it can never be better expressed to the listener.

    Love is what makes me happy when I have no reason to. Love is one self-motivating effect that never withers. Knowing that I’m loved keeps me going. And it is this same love that picks me up when I fall, that encourages me when I stumble.

    And when I’m tired of life and just feel like giving up on myself, love gives me a reason to live. Simply knowing that I’m loved outrageously fills me up with peace. It puts a smile on my face and a tear in my eye. Such amazing love. Love is so beautiful.

    love is in the air

    Love opens up my heart to all good things. It takes away any subconscious fear. And even though I may not be able to escape being broken in one way or the other, I know love will be there to heal my wounds.

    And every time I think of love, I open my arms wide and close my eyes. I breathe in and I smile. It changes my realities. I feel like I’m top of the mountains. I do not have a single doubt about this love. Love is indeed in the air.

    love You ❤

  • Do You Have A Life?

    Do You Have A Life?

    Everyone will die but not everyone has lived. By that, I don’t mean that there are more people to be born, but that there are some existing who are not living. Is it possible to exist and not be fully alive?

    Priorities

    A sign that you probably don’t have a life is when you’re always going with the flow of events that suddenly pop up. People who have a life have priorities. They understand the idea that time is a precious commodity and that it should be allocated to matters that are deemed important and/or relevant at the time.

    People who are going nowhere want you to go with them. Be careful of people who rather parasite on people’s lives. They feel okay in their mess as long as they have someone in the same soup as them.

    Balance

    Productivity and busyness are not alike, they are opposites. The most productive people are not those who brush off almost everything because they have “priorities”, deadlines or tight schedules. It is actually those whose priorities and schedule are pretty much balanced.

    Once in a while, they may even go in their way to brush off their tight schedules and go with the flow of events. No matter what you make your life, it will eat you up if you don’t balance it with other priorities. Be flexible!

    Identity

    Life is basically about purpose. So whenever we’re sluggishly going through life though we’re partying every weekend, getting high every moment and getting laid every time, we still feel unsatisfied on the inside and we actually do not have a life because we can’t get our heads around the meaning and purpose for our doings.

    If we do not have a deep sense of meaning, we distract ourselves with pleasure.

    Daniel Good

    Remember, a purposeless life – no matter how fun it seems – is encapsulated with depression. Make sure your life isn’t centred around a job you can be fired from or friends you can lose.

    Life is an art. Every mistake is a new style. There are no rigid rules yet there are certain aspects that must be ancillary to the life we live. These aspects are meant to complement our lives rather than be it.

    Be mindful what you invest your life into. If it’s a job or position or relationship you can lose, don’t make it your life. Trust me. It will leave you devastated when it’s all gone. Invest your life in your identity; something you’ll always be no matter what, something that can never be taken away from you because it’s basically what you are. Live from within!