If you’ve lived long enough, you’d realize you could be getting the same messages along a certain line for a period of time. Some even say it’s the universe sending them that message over and over. You’d hear a particular word echo or even a certain conclusion is drawn in different conservations with different people. You could resonate with discipline, balance, mindset, personality, or working smart.
Some words or ideas may resonate with us for days, weeks, months or years, even a lifetime. We may be inclined towards a certain philosophy, school of thought, system, concept, mindset or attitude. Not just us, a generation, a city, a building, an architecture, culture, even animals may be related to a certain form of resonance. It’s an endless list.
LENS
There’s a difference between what it is and how we see it. How we see things is based on our lens. If you’ve noticed, no matter what the conversation is about, people tune it to what they resonate with. People who resonate with discipline think everything is about discipline. People who incline to love think it will come down to love. Those who resonate with balance see the balance in everything.
Others who resonate with mindset think the mindset is everything. Those who also resonate with wisdom believe it all goes back to wisdom. If you hang around people who resonate with hard work, you’d soon believe in it and work with it. That’s why it’s necessary to find what works for you because everything works but it just may not be for you.
INFLUENCE
For some people, what they resonate with is in their everyday vocabulary. Stick around for a while and you’d hear them use it often. For others, it’s simply embedded in their attitude. Walk with them for a while and you’d be influenced. We all individually have the potential to be anything. What we don’t have the potential to be is everything at the same time.
Thus, different people bring out different sides of us. Ever worked with a consistent person before? You’ll always be on your toes. How about one who always gives new excuses? You’d relax. If one group thinks you’re funny, your funny side comes out when you’re around them. This is why the people you surround yourself with matters.
NATURE & NURTURE
Truth is, we all don’t resonate with just one thing. One person can resonate with different seemingly contradictory ideologies. Nonetheless, we have something we’ll completely resonate with for a lifetime. This is usually the virtues that go with our personality. Introverts obviously resonate with solitude, the choleric believes in being straightforward, and so on. It’s nature.
However, there are others we pick up along the way that we come to resonate with it so much that no matter our environment, it still wouldn’t rob off. It’s nurture that becomes nature. This is usually the values that come with our upbringing.
PERSPECTIVE
There are good and bad sides to anything we resonate with. You call it laziness but it may be smartness. Call it consistent but it may be conservative. You call it hectic but it may be hard work. You call it slow but it may be meticulous. Call it patience but it may be indecisiveness. It all depends on the situation.
A particular generation may hype hard work, another will hype laziness, especially this generation. It says lazy people find easy ways of doing things. So make sure what you resonate with is consistent with the world’s current.
Since everything works as long as you keep resonating with it, it’s better that you simply hype what you resonate without defaming any other. For instance, being practical doesn’t mean being theoretical is wrong. Practicality only makes us experts in specific things but theory makes us understand the principles that can applied in several ingenious ways.
Leonardo Da Vinci once said, “He who loves practice without theory is like the sailor who boards ship without a rudder and compass and never knows where he may cast”.
So find what you resonate with, be intentional about it, and let it be synonymous to your name in your environment. Morgina Arku said it better; you can resonate with a lot of things but muster a few.
If you live in the past too long, you will be depressed. If you live in the future too long, you will be anxious. The only place you are designed to live is in the present, with your back towards your past and your face looking towards the future. Hope is imagining your future with God in it. Hope is one of the things – hope, faith and love – that will last forever, amazingly. That means God is so awesome that He expects us to look forward to His wondrous glory even in the times of the New Heaven and New Earth. He never ceases to amaze us.
Sinach’s single epitomizes God’s assurance of everlasting Hope (1 Cor 13:13)
That’s why I love Sinach’s song “He Did It Again”. There’s a line that goes, “and when I thought that He had done too much, Jesus did it again.” I have realised that the relevance of Hope is sadly missing. Over-ambition is not hope. Hope is confidence in patience. You can have faith and lack hope. In other words, you can totally believe in what God can do and still see hopelessness in your situation. You are not doubting God. You are just imagining a future without God in it. If a “makeup world” you have imagined is causing you distress, why don’t you just simply make up something good?
It is so easy to wallow in hopelessness. We just lie down and think of all the problems we have in the world just because we are starving and do not have enough money. One small mistake we make, make us think about all the stupid decisions we have ever made and how bad we are when it comes to such situations.
The more we wallow in hopelessness, the more we feel like the most miserable person in the world.
When we remember out of nowhere how someone misunderstood us; then we link to when we were misunderstood by another guy sometime back; then another link to a very similar experience 2 years ago; then we link it to 6 more examples at once; then we are like, “I’m the most misunderstood person in the world
😩😩”.
All this happens under 5 minutes. It all started from one small not-even-a-big-deal problem. Then one seemingly harmless thought. Before you realise, you’ve had a bad day. This happens way too often. And today, we are leaving this attitude with all its accompanying emotions of hopelessness behind us. If my mind brings up a problem and another problem tries to connect to it, say “no! Not today.” We are learning to tackle one issue at a time, one step at a time.
If doctors were told how many patients they will attend to in even a day, hopelessness may set in. But they attend to all these patients one at a time wonderfully. If teachers made a big fuss about the number of papers they had to mark, no one would like to be a lecturer of a huge class.
You can never tackle all your problems at once so don’t think of all of them at once
Some moments are just not the right time to think about important issues. When you wake up at the wrong side of your bed, don’t think about the reason why you were born. It may seem like a good thing to do but it will filter towards you and leave you with negative emotions and hopelessness. Someone may then ask, when is the right time to think about your problems? When you have properly dealt with your anxiety about the problems.
Going over and over allll your problems will not help you, it will not heal you, it will not even get anything fixed. It is just a pity-party.
If you want to talk about your problems, make sure the person listening is a person with hope; someone who will make up for your hopelessness. Don’t also think you always need someone to talk to. Once you get attached to that thinking and no one is ready to listen, it will add insult to your injury. Know when to deal with your personal issues personally. Know when to invite a 3rd party. Either ways, God is willing to talk about it with you. Yes He already knows but He wants to hear you pour your heart out to Him. He is closer to the brokenhearted. Just like David the psalmist, we are looking within ourselves on this day and telling our soul, “Hope in God”. Remain hopeful and praise God, for He is your God and your Help. Amen
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, My Help and My God.
Psalm 42:11
Can you imagine an athlete in the middle of a 200-metre race not sprinting as good as she wanted, thereby deciding to restart? That’s what we do all the time. Restart whenever something goes wrong. As if everything is supposed to be perfect. As if nothing could possibly go wrong. As if failure is not part of the journey. There is a difference between restarting from scratch and restarting from experience. You’re restarting from scratch if you keep making the same mistakes. You’re restarting from experience if you keep making new mistakes.
The Illusion of Restarting
The truth is, restarting is really an illusion. We’ve just decided in our minds that we are restarting when you and I know that we cannot rewind life. Life is like an online video game. You can’t pause it. As you throw all previous progress out the window and start afresh for the 1000th time, know that time itself never started afresh. It simply kept moving as you while it away.
Perhaps, that’s what we ought to do. Keep moving no matter what. Always remember this; there is more progress sticking to something worthwhile – not matter how long it takes – than hopping from one thing to another, starting from scratch every time. Try the same core idea from different angles, approaches and procedures. It’s better to try one thing 1000 times than try different things 1000 times. Persistence is key, so stick to one core idea.
You Don’t Need To Figure It All Out
The good news is that you don’t need to figure it all out before you start. The Western world popularizes the idea of figuring it all out right before you start. They tell you to write down your goals for the year and have a detailed plan on how you’ll achieve it. Thus, people write to the utmost detail what they will be doing each day for the entire year. That is too rigid, my dear.
Looking back over the year, we don’t even remember into detail what happened each day. If our past is that blurry, how much more the future? See! Live one day at a time. It’s the days that add up to make a year. Don’t count the days; make the days count.
Don’t Restart; Rejuvenate
The reason why we keep restarting is not just because we want it to be perfect till the end. It’s because there’s a rush of enthusiasm whenever we start something. Restarting gives us fresh energy, vitality and optimism. Subject to the law of diminishing returns, the energy from the beginning slowly fizzles out till we are back where we last stumbled.
As a matter of fact, it is easy to get addicted to the idea of restarting. Feeling too cluttered? Let’s clear everything and restart. Why not simply organize them and continue? Stuck in old bad habits? Let’s clear everything and restart. Why not consciously create new good habits and move on with life? If you need a new zeal and ambition, don’t restart. Rejuvenate. You gain new strength to overcome the situation you’re in at the moment. Rather than running away from it by restarting.
So instead of quitting the marathon only to start over again, why not face your insecurities? For some of us, this is the message we ought to hear. You don’t need to wait for another year to put your life together. Don’t quit, yes. But quit restarting if you really want to make it to the finish line. Perhaps, it is by quitting this restart that you’ll break your cycle of failure and face your real underlying problems and weaknesses.
Happiness is an emotion that takes its root deep within our being. The human body secretes and circulates about 50 different hormones. These hormones include growth hormones, male and female hormones (hormones that produce secondary sexual characteristics in our body), stress hormones, sleep hormones and many others. In fact, hormones are chemical substances that are important in every activity within the human body. Consider hormones to be the magic spell that can change the physiology and behaviour of a person once released into the bloodstream. Happiness is no different.
There are 4 main hormones responsible for our happiness;
D for Dopamine
O for Oxytocin
S for Serotonin
E for Endorphin
Dopamine – the Reward Hormone
Also known as the pleasure hormone, dopamine is released when we achieve a goal or accomplish a task. That’s why women love shopping. Even drinking cold water on a hot day releases some level of dopamine. It is released while having sex, when we eat the food we crave and when we partake in an activity we love so much. It is the feel-good neurotransmitter, an essential part of the brain’s reward system.
Well, first of all you need to know an addiction is anything you do to reward yourself when you’re not in the mood. Our bodies release stress hormones whenever we are low on dopamine, thereby increasing the edge to do something pleasurable. Thus, choose your addictions wisely. Simple ways to increase your dopamine include eating healthily, sleeping well, listening to music, getting a massage and going shopping. Also, learn to reward yourself appropriately when you accomplish tasks.
Oxytocin and cortisol (stress hormone) oppose each other in our bodies. When one rises, the other falls. Thus, a deficiency in oxytocin has the same effect as an excess in cortisol. Signs of high cortisol include not sleeping well or waking up tired, weight gain (especially around the abdomen), cravings for unhealthy foods, backaches and headaches, low sex drive, anxiety, and depression.
Do you feel tired even when you’ve not completed any task? Do you feel disconnected in your relationship? You don’t even feel like yourself recently, right? Do you suddenly don’t feel like talking to anyone anymore? It’s like you just don’t have the energy to socialize, n’est pas? Have you walked by people you know and didn’t say hi, not because they annoy you but because you didn’t want to interact? That’s why sometimes when we feel this way, we just hug someone close for no reason.
How to increase Oxytocin levels
Oxytocin is a bonding chemical. Spend time with the ones you love, be goofy with your friends, share something valuable with someone, have a fruitful conversation with another. Laugh, share, help, touch, spread the love. Oxytocin is controlled by a positive feedback mechanism where the release of the hormone causes an action that stimulates more of its own release. It is nature’s way of passing on the love. It is making someone happy because you find happiness in that. At the end of the day, everyone’s happy.
Serotonin – the Calm Hormone
Serotonin is the hormone that is responsible for our emotional stability. It is considered the natural mood stabilizer. It is also present in animals, plants, and fungi. Thus, food is one good source of serotonin. You can’t directly get serotonin from food, but you can get it from tryptophan, an amino acid that’s converted to serotonin in your brain. Serotonin can be produced in the digestive system independent of the serotonin produced in the brain.
Function
Serotonin is associated with mood, sleep, digestion, blood clotting, bone density and sexual function. It makes us feel calmer, happier, more focused, less anxious and more emotionally stable. This hormoneis also influencing when, how much, and how well you sleep. It can also influence the frequency and intensity of the sexual feelings you have due to its effects on the body’s libido.
Excess Serotonin Effect
When people use certain recreational drugs, such as ecstasy, the body releases large amounts of serotonin. This can lead to serotonin depletion. Fluctuations of serotonin levels in the brain, which often occur when someone hasn’t eaten or is stressed, affects brain regions that enable people to regulate anger. The old adage was true; a hungry man is an angry man.
Do what you would usually do to lighten up your mood. Go for a walk, listen to your favourite music, opt for a massage, eat some good healthy food, especially those rich in fibre and protein, remember the fun times; those old happy memories, and most importantly, pray. Do you ever feel the burden suddenly lifted when you down on your knees in prayer? You sure have! All such activities calm you down and uplift your mood.
Endorphin – the Willpower Hormone
Contracted from endogenous morphine, endorphins are chemicals produced by the body to relieve stress and pain. It produces a feeling of euphoria that is both healthy and safe, without the risk of addiction and overdose. As an anti-anxiety hormone, it blocks discomfort and makes us excited. When endorphins are released in your body, it gives you the ability to power through any form of pain. That explains the name.
Function
Since humans naturally seek to feel pleasure and avoid pain, we’re more likely to do an activity if it makes us feel good. Endorphins alleviate pain even during childbirth, reduce stress and anxiety, boost self-esteem and reduce excess weight. It is the happy feeling produced when we exercise and feel good about ourselves and our bodies. This phenomenon is known as the runner’s high.
Excess Endorphin Effect
With high endorphin levels, we feel less pain and fewer negative effects of stress. Endorphin is the body’s naturally produced pain killer that is released in relation to the level of pain it’s feeling. Without endorphins, the pain of labour and childbirth would have been practically impossible to bear since such pain exceeds a human’s threshold of pain. In such cases, the female body still produces high levels that are both healthy and safe, without the risk of addiction and overdose.
What are your coping mechanisms to get through the pain again? Yes! Eat chocolate, eat your favourite food, create art or music, laugh out loud, watch your favourite show, do what you had always loved to do. This adage was also right. When you do what you love, though it may be really stressful, your body will release just the right amount of endorphins you would need to get through it.
I believe everything in nature was purposefully designed to keep us happy. The beautiful sunrise, drinking water, the cosy weather, having a conversation, the bright flowers, laughing, eating your favourite food, walking out to soak it all in simply make us happy. It’s the simple things in life, to be honest.
We’ve known times without number how powerful the brain is. Sometimes we can trick our brains to do the seemingly impossible. Other times, our brain tricks us that the situation is seemingly impossible. Placebo and Nocebo effects are no different. Hope you’ve heard of Placebo before; A patient swallows a sugar pill that lacks active medicine and yet pain falls away, nausea recedes, mood lifts. It was first experimented by John Haygarth, a British physician, in 1799. God knows how many years the pharmaceutic industry has made money from this. Since you have heard a lot about Placebo, let’s delve more into Nocebo. How is it applicable in our everyday lives?
Nocebo is on the other side of the extreme; it is when the placebo makes you feel worse. So, basically, a doctor gives you a sugar pill and tells you there will be side effects; every time you take the medicine, you will feel dizzy, nausea and a little migraine. Though the drug has no medical effect, you will still anticipate and experience the side effects for real. Have you ever felt sick and then googled it before? What happens after you know all the symptoms you are supposed to have and how deadly the disease is?
Sometimes what we know causes us to worry, be anxious and fear. This is why we say ignorance is bliss. Not that being ignorant is a good thing, but sometimes not knowing how painful or distressing something is, makes us more positive to face it upfront. The word “melancholy” relates to both intelligence and sadness. When you know a lot, it can easily make you sad. You simply look all around and all you see is people living in bondage without knowing they could be free. It’s simply heartbreaking to see people choose folly, stupidity and mediocrity time and again. As if they have been programmed to be that stupid.
Our brain not only picks the cue from only our experiences but from other people’s experiences we know of as well. Perhaps, the reason why certain unnecessarily weird circumstances keep coming our way is that we keep “hoping” for it to happen. Just because it happened to your mother; it’s a thing in your family; it happened to the only one who was courageous enough to try; it happened to someone you feel you are a really like; doesn’t mean it will happen to you. Until you get it out of your subconscious mind and stop anticipating its manifestation, it is more likely to happen. It is unnecessary to know everything that can go wrong if you don’t care to know what could go right. You don’t want sound mental health?
So I entrust you to look for the good things in life; look for the good in people you relate to and hope that they manifest in your life as well. We all know that there are bad times and tough seasons in life but please; don’t carry that burden in your subconscious mind and be anticipating weird negative scenarios. You are not a hero for predicting doom accurately. Rather anticipate you coming out of the difficult times stronger and better. Let your hopes be good.
Have you ever been in a queue and see someone jump in from nowhere? What was your reaction? What matters to you at that moment?
Virtues
What annoys you probably shows what virtues you resonate with. Sometimes it’s not that we don’t believe in some other good virtues; it’s just that we don’t necessarily have a problem with it. Some people get really annoyed when you don’t tell them the whole truth. It wasn’t really a lie from your side so their reaction may look really exaggerated in your eyes. That’s because telling them the whole truth matters to them.
However, it doesn’t necessarily mean they should have a problem with other seemingly related things like lying to other people they don’t care about so as to avoid they asking further questions. Sometimes you’ll find people close to you complaining a lot about something little you did, but don’t complain when others do the exact same thing to them.
Relations
Truth is, we don’t hold everyone to the same standards. Subconsciously, people who matter to us are expected to resonate with things that matter to us. When they don’t, therein lies all the misunderstandings. To avoid those misunderstandings, you don’t need to necessarily uphold their beliefs and virtues. What you must do is to understand what matters to them and relate to them specifically as such.
Some people have a problem with sharing their stuff with just about anyone. Well, you don’t. You share freely. She doesn’t, so don’t try to talk her into doing so. Share yours. Leave hers to her. When it comes to things she shares with you, treat it as hers and don’t share it with others still. It’s that simple.
Sentiments
Understanding a person is knowing what the person resonates with, not trying to change it and accepting him/her for that, and relating with the person in that light. We all have our petty petty sentiments. The more people pay attention to these little sentiments, the more we connect with them. Sometimes it’s amazing when you get to know that an acquaintance shares the same sentiments as you.
The real deal is knowing how to handle an issue where those close to you don’t resonate with the things that annoy you. You never know a person till you know what really gets on their nerves. Don’t assume that everyone thinks like you. What matters to you may not matter to me. In the same vein, what you’re very okay with can really annoy someone else.
Boundaries
If this very important issue is understood, you can relate with every human being in the world. This issue explains why some Christian-Muslim relations have worked out, and how an atheist and a theist can be best buddies. It’s not a matter of pleasing them, it’s a matter of respecting their boundaries.
People call this adjustment, others call it compatibility. Whatever the case is, it determines the functionality of all kinds of relationships. Once we understand this issue and find the middle ground, all kinds of compatibility issues – from social to sexual to sensual – can be resolved to the detriment of none of the parties involved.
It accelerates to keep me from dying from your elegance
My hands cringe as my soul clings to the rhythm
With you, the world neither spins nor twists and turns
The winds quieten as I feel your breath flow into mine
The paws
The pause increases my pulse as your paws scratch my hair
Our lips dance as all of Heaven kisses the face of the earth
I waited so long for this day, and it was worth the wait
Stop reading between the lines, there’s nothing here to see
The pores
Open your heart, close your eyes
Open the dance floor, up close let’s dance
Though we are very close, we are so open to each other
Though we’d close at some point, let’s leave it open
The pours
My heart glows in ways I can’t understand
It gushes forth with pure affection for you
I enjoy your company, I know you enjoy mine too
On a more serious note, I do not want this to end
The pause
Please press play, remind me of my busy schedules once more
Before I fall flat on my face and have you fill all of my mind
Let’s keep it like this, for love suffers at high speeds
We don’t have to press pause on either; we can have each other and with each other face the stress
I love you ❤️
This poem was inspired by the stresses of architecture school and the fun of living. The question is not whether we procrastinate or not. The question is, “what are we procrastinating?” We don’t have to “play” everything. We need to certainly pause at certain points because there are some stages in life we cannot skip. Learn to pause rather than “stop” because you’d wish you could “rewind” to relive those moments. Press forward!
Love is such a wonderful thing when shared by two people. Love can and must be shared by all through all to all. Love has a way of bringing two people together into a different path and a whole new dimension of passion and commitment. Your soulmate must be out there somewhere. Perhaps, they may be a lot closer than you think.
Friendship becomes the primary selection ground for people who wish to end up with somebody they can grow old with. It’s the safe space of no pretence and manipulation where we can totally be ourselves and be accepted for who we are.
When a solid foundation of friendship has been established and they evolve and grow together.They get to know different chapters in their mate’s life. However, there is one part of it all that cannot be skipped: there are instances that one of them would ask if their mate is the right person for them.
It’s a risk. Thus, there is a need for clarity of thought and mutual understanding. No one can be sure if his or her mate is the right person unless he or she takes time to think through, ask questions, make inquiries and be settled in the heart this is the one and only. Yes, there is a need to make extra effort to analyze the situation and the person he or she is currently involved with.
There are some things about how we are that will change over time as we evolve in our thinking and perspective. However, there are certain aspects of us that defines us and will barely change. We are like everyone else in one sense and different from everyone else in another sense. This leads me to the first instance;
1. If the concerned person will get to accept the other person for the bad sides of their personality.
Obviously, there are certain things the concerned individual may not like about the other person. So in essence, it’s not whether there are certain things you dislike about the person; because there is. It is rather if you are willing to accept how they are. Everyone has bad habits that arise from their personality. It is these same habits that the concerned individual has to deal with. Hence, it would be better to assess if the concerned individual likes what he or she is seeing or if they can tolerate the personality of the other person.
These bad habits actually change over time. That is why there’s a need for relationships in the first place. The other person will not literally be perfect but the fact that the concerned individual can accept whatever the other person is, then, it must be love.
2. If the concerned person will get to accept the other person’s faults or shortcomings not because of some hopes that someday he or she will change, then, it must be the right person.
One should realize that accepting somebody should never be conditional. This means that when a person accepts someone who has qualities not included in his or her concept of an ideal mate, it should not be the basis for unnecessary expectations. Because if this is the basis of acceptance, chances are, the concerned individual will only be disappointed and the other person will always be at fault in the relationship.
3. If there are no obstacles that will in time kill the flame of love, then, it must be the right person.
If in the event that an individual finds somebody and they feel that the relationship is finally the real thing, it would still be better to assess if there will be no more impediments that would curb the growth of a wonderful relationship. This simply means that the person should be sure that there will be no elements or factors that will trigger some problems on their relationship in the future like vices, addiction, family problems, previous relationships, etc. If the coast is clear, then, the concerned person has finally found his or her right mate and that in time the relationship will flourish and be successful.
All of these things boil down to the fact that life is not 100% perfect. People should realize that there are no such things as perfect people. As humans, we are susceptible to mistakes, imperfections, flaws, and whatever weaknesses we are destined to entail in our personality. So, the best thing to use when identifying the right person is a careful analysis of the individual as a whole and not just what the naked eye sees where physical attraction is usually based.
Have you ever met someone in your life that you feel you’ve known all your life? Have you ever felt so close to someone though you don’t really know them so you’re willing to know them? Have you ever felt the same about someone for so long a time that you know for sure that it’s something real? One word explains it all; connection.
There are more connections in the human body than there are stars in the galaxy.
It’s certainly magical to establish a connection with someone but sometimes it’s just difficult, especially with someone you are “supposed to” get along with. This is because connection is mutual. It ought to fit, just as a plug fits in a socket. It doesn’t have to make all the sense in the world. In fact, it needs no words to explain it because there’s none.
There are some people that we’re gonna meet in the future that we wish we had met earlier. There are some people that we’re gonna meet that we’d feel we’ve known them all our lives, because the interconnectedness is so strong. What we must know about connection is that connection is energy. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but translates from one form to another.
Our energy fields react differently with people we have connection with. Thus, we connect with different people differently. Sometimes we’re not able to understand our connection with some people and we think we don’t like them. But once we make the mutual connection, our perceptions change and we experience a new reality together with them.
Connection can therefore go beyond space and time since it’s energy. You can connect more with someone in 3 months more than someone you’ve known for 3 years. You may not see someone for 3 years but still feel the strong connection you have with them. Some connections however need time, but once symbiosis is established, it can last a lifetime.
Why is it important to know what connects us? Because what connects us is the binding agent of our relationship. So go out there and connect. Connect with God. Connect with your innermost self. Connect with nature. Connect with family. Connect with friends. Connect with the world.
Love is a constant tangible experience of His outpour of Himself. Love is in the air. We have heard “God loves you” many times, but until it is fruitfully experienced by the sayer, it can never be better expressed to the listener.
Love is what makes me happy when I have no reason to. Love is one self-motivating effect that never withers. Knowing that I’m loved keeps me going. And it is this same love that picks me up when I fall, that encourages me when I stumble.
And when I’m tired of life and just feel like giving up on myself, love gives me a reason to live. Simply knowing that I’m loved outrageously fills me up with peace. It puts a smile on my face and a tear in my eye. Such amazing love. Love is so beautiful.
Love opens up my heart to all good things. It takes away any subconscious fear. And even though I may not be able to escape being broken in one way or the other, I know love will be there to heal my wounds.
And every time I think of love, I open my arms wide and close my eyes. I breathe in and I smile. It changes my realities. I feel like I’m top of the mountains. I do not have a single doubt about this love. Love is indeed in the air.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
Galatians 5:22 NKJV
Goodness cannot be taken advantage of. What people take advantage of is insecurities. When you are insecure about doing good to others, you basically care about your public image, the show you’re putting up, how people will see you and praise you, how you can use your goodness now for a favor later. True goodness is not ignorant or blind. People take advantage of whatever that is ignorant and blind. True goodness understands the situation, sees the need, has the resources and is willing to help.
True goodness is not forced or coerced. True goodness is a decision to help when you are willing and able. True goodness is not to the benefit of others and a detriment to yourself. That is a dualistic thinking. Not every situation is dualistic. Giving someone an advantage does not necessarily put you at a disadvantage. Your parents spending huge sums of money on you is not to their disadvantage.
Sacrifice is not detrimental, how much more goodness. Don’t be shortsighted. Look at the big picture. Yes! Sacrifice is costly. But we choose the value we place on anything, including ourselves. If it’s worth it, it’s worth sacrificing for. If we don’t learn to prioritise what really matters in the long run and sacrifice for it, we would hold on to everything there is and eventually lose everything. Laying down your life for someone is not necessarily killing yourself. Every parent understands this perfectly.
Goodness is not only giving what we have materially. Sometimes all the other person needs is not the amount of money they are asking from you and will be unable to pay. Sometimes they just need the peace of mind you’re not willing to give away. That will mean not giving them what they think they need in the short term but what you know would be beneficial in the long term
Goodness from time immemorial has been a coverup for a hidden motive or evil deeds that need not be seen. That is the kind of goodness that can be taken advantage of. Why? Because such a goodness has to be put up to cover up. There are top businesses in the world that grant auditors huge sums of money to shut up concerning their fraudulent transactions.
When you’re insecure about goodness, you do good out of convenience and pity. Perhaps, it’s your way of putting people under you. Or a sure way to avoid controversy. Or even a way of pleasing the public eye. Insecure goodness can be blackmailed. Anyone can do good. Even some serial killers in history have donated parts of the bodies of their victims for the good of science. But truly doing good emanates from being truly good.
It is absurd to think goodness can be abused. Can you abuse your mom’s love for you? Can you abuse the sun’s energy? Can you abuse the oxygen you breathe? Can you abuse the grace of God? Certainly not! Whatever goodness we abuse affects us more than the source of goodness. If you have a friend who is willing to support you no matter what, and you think you can abuse them and you indeed do, you lose their trust but they never lose their kindness. Think about it.
Sometimes I wonder if Mother Theresa would have remained Mother Theresa in this system of ours. I believe she would. In fact, there are more people with her heart now than ever before. Don’t let the system fool you. Those who linger close to the top and abuse whatever goodness there is never make it for long. Everyone at the top is a philanthropist. Whoever wants to make it to the top must have the mindset of giving back to society.
There is a kind of goodness that emanates from empathy and compassion. It causes us to do good because we ARE good. We are the epitome of goodness when the reason for our goodness is because we have seen a need that we can address. True goodness is a response to the call of the universe to address the needs of our fellow selves. True goodness does not take advantage of. True goodness gives advantage to.
So, don’t stop doing good because people did you bad. Do good because you are good. The world has been changed and will change a thousand times by the littlest of goodness shown. Think about all the people and works that came to stay throughout history from the first civilisation to date. Don’t fear your goodness will be taken advantage of. Be glad that you’re the vessel being used to make a positive impact in the lives of the people around you.
One should realize that accepting somebody should never be conditional. This means that when a person accepts someone who has qualities not included in his or her concept of an ideal mate, it should not be the basis for unnecessary expectations. Because if this is the basis of acceptance, chances are, the concerned individual will only be disappointed and the other person will always be at fault in the relationship.
