Resonance

Category: Frustration

  • Nocebo Effect: What Is Your Brain Looking Forward To?

    We’ve known times without number how powerful the brain is. Sometimes we can trick our brains to do the seemingly impossible. Other times, our brain tricks us that the situation is seemingly impossible. Placebo and Nocebo effects are no different. Hope you’ve heard of Placebo before; A patient swallows a sugar pill that lacks active medicine and yet pain falls away, nausea recedes, mood lifts. It was first experimented by John Haygarth, a British physician, in 1799. God knows how many years the pharmaceutic industry has made money from this. Since you have heard a lot about Placebo, let’s delve more into Nocebo. How is it applicable in our everyday lives?

    Nocebo is on the other side of the extreme; it is when the placebo makes you feel worse. So, basically, a doctor gives you a sugar pill and tells you there will be side effects; every time you take the medicine, you will feel dizzy, nausea and a little migraine. Though the drug has no medical effect, you will still anticipate and experience the side effects for real. Have you ever felt sick and then googled it before? What happens after you know all the symptoms you are supposed to have and how deadly the disease is?

    Sometimes what we know causes us to worry, be anxious and fear. This is why we say ignorance is bliss. Not that being ignorant is a good thing, but sometimes not knowing how painful or distressing something is, makes us more positive to face it upfront. The word “melancholy” relates to both intelligence and sadness. When you know a lot, it can easily make you sad. You simply look all around and all you see is people living in bondage without knowing they could be free. It’s simply heartbreaking to see people choose folly, stupidity and mediocrity time and again. As if they have been programmed to be that stupid.

    Sometimes what we know can stop us from experiencing what we don’t know, even if it may be a good experience. Our brain is super excellent at relating seemingly unrelated things together. Like when someone who promised to text you forgets and it reminds you of when your teacher in Primary 4 promised to reward you for your outstanding performance but didn’t. It was the beginning of you not trusting people too much anymore. This Nocebo effect cautions us from experiencing something tremendous in our lives just because we remember a similar situation in the past where we failed or were disappointed.

    Our brain not only picks the cue from only our experiences but from other people’s experiences we know of as well. Perhaps, the reason why certain unnecessarily weird circumstances keep coming our way is that we keep “hoping” for it to happen. Just because it happened to your mother; it’s a thing in your family; it happened to the only one who was courageous enough to try; it happened to someone you feel you are a really like; doesn’t mean it will happen to you. Until you get it out of your subconscious mind and stop anticipating its manifestation, it is more likely to happen. It is unnecessary to know everything that can go wrong if you don’t care to know what could go right. You don’t want sound mental health?

    nocebo effect exists but placebo your way through

    So I entrust you to look for the good things in life; look for the good in people you relate to and hope that they manifest in your life as well. We all know that there are bad times and tough seasons in life but please; don’t carry that burden in your subconscious mind and be anticipating weird negative scenarios. You are not a hero for predicting doom accurately. Rather anticipate you coming out of the difficult times stronger and better. Let your hopes be good.

    I love you

  • What Matters to You?

    Have you ever been in a queue and see someone jump in from nowhere? What was your reaction? What matters to you at that moment?

    Virtues

    What annoys you probably shows what virtues you resonate with. Sometimes it’s not that we don’t believe in some other good virtues; it’s just that we don’t necessarily have a problem with it. Some people get really annoyed when you don’t tell them the whole truth. It wasn’t really a lie from your side so their reaction may look really exaggerated in your eyes. That’s because telling them the whole truth matters to them.

    However, it doesn’t necessarily mean they should have a problem with other seemingly related things like lying to other people they don’t care about so as to avoid they asking further questions. Sometimes you’ll find people close to you complaining a lot about something little you did, but don’t complain when others do the exact same thing to them.

    Relations

    Truth is, we don’t hold everyone to the same standards. Subconsciously, people who matter to us are expected to resonate with things that matter to us. When they don’t, therein lies all the misunderstandings. To avoid those misunderstandings, you don’t need to necessarily uphold their beliefs and virtues. What you must do is to understand what matters to them and relate to them specifically as such.

    Some people have a problem with sharing their stuff with just about anyone. Well, you don’t. You share freely. She doesn’t, so don’t try to talk her into doing so. Share yours. Leave hers to her. When it comes to things she shares with you, treat it as hers and don’t share it with others still. It’s that simple.

    Sentiments

    Understanding a person is knowing what the person resonates with, not trying to change it and accepting him/her for that, and relating with the person in that light. We all have our petty petty sentiments. The more people pay attention to these little sentiments, the more we connect with them. Sometimes it’s amazing when you get to know that an acquaintance shares the same sentiments as you.

    The real deal is knowing how to handle an issue where those close to you don’t resonate with the things that annoy you. You never know a person till you know what really gets on their nerves. Don’t assume that everyone thinks like you. What matters to you may not matter to me. In the same vein, what you’re very okay with can really annoy someone else.

    Boundaries

    If this very important issue is understood, you can relate with every human being in the world. This issue explains why some Christian-Muslim relations have worked out, and how an atheist and a theist can be best buddies. It’s not a matter of pleasing them, it’s a matter of respecting their boundaries.

    People call this adjustment, others call it compatibility. Whatever the case is, it determines the functionality of all kinds of relationships. Once we understand this issue and find the middle ground, all kinds of compatibility issues – from social to sexual to sensual – can be resolved to the detriment of none of the parties involved.

    I love you ❤️


  • Ineffable

    Those who mind don’t matter

    Those who matter don’t mind

    Who said so?

    I mind, remind my mind

    The mind is matter

    So tell me the matter

    What’s on your mind?

    It’s ineffable!

    Actions speak louder than words

    but actions are hard to interpret

    Your words are your words

    They hurt more with each resounding memory

    Why did you say what you said?

    It’s ineffable!

    I say I really don’t know, I wind

    but you say what do you mean? Define

    There’s a reason behind everything

    but can we explain everything we do?

    My mistakes don’t define me.

    My mistakes, don’t remind me.

    I’m not here to prove myself. That’s how I am? Reputation doesn’t matter.

    What matters is you.

    It’s ineffable!

    Gravity holds back my fears

    Brevity holds up my tears

    We stained our flower

    I dimmed the charm

    but wait…there’s still a sparkle

    though your heart sometimes bleeds

    the love still remains

    It’s ineffable!

    we’ll never be the same again

    It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness.

    We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.

    But now we can’t underestimate our peace.

    Come, hold my hands.

    The healing rain is about to begin.

    I hope you’re not afraid

    I love you ❤️

  • Everyone Hurts

    There’s so much hurt in the world. There’s too much pain. Everyone hurts. Sometimes we may not have enough time to cry but we bleed anyways. Some don’t just go around exposing their vulnerability and be looking for sympathizers in their situation, though some others do.

    The mental trauma and instability is so alarming that being rude to anyone at all – even those we think we know so much – is stupendously uncalled for. Don’t be part of the problem. Be the light that shines in the darkness.

    People are going through so much. You are going through so much. Don’t isolate yourself into thinking you’re the only one. But guess what? One random act of kindness brings mutual healing. Hug somebody. Mind somebody. Love somebody. They need it, yes! But you need it too.

    I love you ❤️

  • Jack & Jill: A Uni Love Story

    Jack & Jill: A Uni Love Story

    Jill was a freshman in college who is dating an older guy named Jack. She has worn her heart all over her sleeve in this relationship. She has told him (and he has told her) that they will be married someday. They’ve talked of family, dreams, careers, homes, and everything they possibly can. Because they believe they will end up married, they have had a really hard time keeping the relationship pure. I think they just might make it because I see how much they love each other.

    But right now, Jack is barely interested in pursuing her, and they are taking a “break” from the relationship. He’s more interested in his band, his friends and his future. Why shouldn’t he be? He already has her right where he wants her.

    She is heartbroken and finds it difficult to wake up in the morning. She is experiencing some of the pain that comes because she made choices characteristic of the “crash and burn” in the area of her conduct. She is as committed to him as if she were married to him and finds herself unsatisfied. In having everything she wanted in the relationship very quickly, she found herself in a period where she has nothing of the relationship. She forgot that she was single. She forgot that she belongs to herself and God during this season of her life.

    Learn from Jill. If the state still recognizes you as single, don’t live like a married couple. If you give all your heart to a guy so early, he’d stop pursuing you soon enough because there’s nothing more left for him to keep on pursuing. Never open your legs to someone who doesn’t know your heart; never open your heart to someone who doesn’t know your mind.

    I love you ❤️

  • Do You Have A Life?

    Do You Have A Life?

    Everyone will die but not everyone has lived. By that, I don’t mean that there are more people to be born, but that there are some existing who are not living. Is it possible to exist and not be fully alive?

    Priorities

    A sign that you probably don’t have a life is when you’re always going with the flow of events that suddenly pop up. People who have a life have priorities. They understand the idea that time is a precious commodity and that it should be allocated to matters that are deemed important and/or relevant at the time.

    People who are going nowhere want you to go with them. Be careful of people who rather parasite on people’s lives. They feel okay in their mess as long as they have someone in the same soup as them.

    Balance

    Productivity and busyness are not alike, they are opposites. The most productive people are not those who brush off almost everything because they have “priorities”, deadlines or tight schedules. It is actually those whose priorities and schedule are pretty much balanced.

    Once in a while, they may even go in their way to brush off their tight schedules and go with the flow of events. No matter what you make your life, it will eat you up if you don’t balance it with other priorities. Be flexible!

    Identity

    Life is basically about purpose. So whenever we’re sluggishly going through life though we’re partying every weekend, getting high every moment and getting laid every time, we still feel unsatisfied on the inside and we actually do not have a life because we can’t get our heads around the meaning and purpose for our doings.

    If we do not have a deep sense of meaning, we distract ourselves with pleasure.

    Daniel Good

    Remember, a purposeless life – no matter how fun it seems – is encapsulated with depression. Make sure your life isn’t centred around a job you can be fired from or friends you can lose.

    Life is an art. Every mistake is a new style. There are no rigid rules yet there are certain aspects that must be ancillary to the life we live. These aspects are meant to complement our lives rather than be it.

    Be mindful what you invest your life into. If it’s a job or position or relationship you can lose, don’t make it your life. Trust me. It will leave you devastated when it’s all gone. Invest your life in your identity; something you’ll always be no matter what, something that can never be taken away from you because it’s basically what you are. Live from within!