Resonance

Category: Identity

  • Inferiority Complex: the Silent Killer of Destinies

    A lot of people live a mediocre life, not because they aim high and miss but because they aim low and hit. Whereas the Main Character Syndrome is a noisy disease, inferiority complex is like the other extreme that destroys more people than we think. Pride is a garment that easily looks ugly on anyone who wears it. It is false humility that people wear with pride and still get praised for it. False humility is true pride. Today, let’s expose it quickly!

    What is inferiority complex? Biblically, I’ll define it as seeing yourself less than how God sees you, and settling with that mindset. Starting small is fine. Humble beginnings are good. Staying small is not. Not expecting growth is a disease. There’s no great person who does not have a mindset of greatness, even before they saw results. Inferiority complex is seeing small and thinking small, even though greater is He that is in thee.

    Exposing Inferiority Complex

    Inferiority complex; seeing things closer to you, including yourself, as small and only seeing things afar as great. You only admire greatness because it’s far from you. When it’s finally near you, you reduce it to your level. When a friend shares a great idea with you, you immediately belittle it. If a great person you so admire comes close, you unconsciously look for flaws so as to undermine them.

    Another variation is condemning great people you don’t know, and thinking your ideas (which you never work on), are better and greater. It’s easy to castigate leaders because you’re not one. Once you start to take responsibility as a leader, you’ll appreciate the leaders you have gone ahead of you. Acting unimpressed does not make you great. Acting responsibly does.

    One reason for inferiority complex is the idea that God has placed an embargo on your destiny and that’s why you don’t want to expand your business or grow beyond a certain scope. For that, we’ll discuss the difference between boundaries and limitations. Don’t equate stupidity to spirituality by thinking mediocrity means humility. Instead of being transformed, we cover our inferiority complex with spirituality. Yet, we want to be unexpectedly catapulted into greatness without process. Meanwhile, building momentum via diligence provides a surer outcome.

    Another reason for inferiority complex is that “God has not given me specific instructions to follow”. Because of this, we confuse waiting on God with the mere passage of time. While you’re waiting, make sure you’re going about your business. Jesus picked disciples who were already productive. You can’t be doing nothing in the name of waiting on God. God uses all our experiences, and none of them goes to waste. Paul was a tentmaker and God made him build the church. Peter was a fisherman and Jesus made a fisher of men. David was a shepherd boy and God took him to shepherd His people. Even the devil does not use lazy people.

    Boundary vs Limitations

    First of all, you need to understand the difference between these two. God doesn’t place limitations on us. What He places are boundaries. Eg. One is called to be a missionary to a village and the other is called to pastor a megachurch in the city. Those are boundaries. Yes, you’re not permitted to do all things but do you know that “little” God has called you to do? It’s not little at all. Don’t underestimate it. Do it greatly. If you’re called to the village, take over the village by storm. Nobody has a “little” role to play in the Kingdom. Always remember; God has never called anyone to do anything small. You are calling it small but God isn’t. He will do great wonders with anything small.

    It’s just like the parts of the body. Each part of the body has their unique ability and function. If the hand tries to do what the feet is designed to do, it will naturally struggle. Now there are parts of your body that you cannot live a second without. There are also others that when missing, you’ll still be alive. You need to have a heart but you can live without your thumb. However, do you know how important your thumb is to your entire body? Belittling the one talent God has given you is false humility. God has not placed a single limitation on you. It’s only from one tree you cannot eat. You can plant more trees. You can replicate the garden all over the earth. There are no limitations, only boundaries.

    One huge limitation in inferiority complex is thinking it’s about us. So all this while, you think it’s about you. That’s why you want something small; a nice house, a good car, a simple family and you’re good to go at this point in life. My dear, don’t let life bully you. What God wants to do with you goes beyond you. We are called to disciple nations, remember? There’s the personal, family, community and national level. Very few people take care of nations. You should be able to lend to nations. Have that mindset. There are widows and orphans and so many problems in the world. Let God raise you as a deliverer, a judge, a king, a prophet, an apostle, a shepherd, a saviour etc. so He can work with you to solve problems in the world.

    Decisions Determine Destiny

    So if God has placed no limitations on you, it means within the boundaries He sets for you, there are endless possibilities available to you. God is sovereign, yes. What He set was your boundaries, not your limitations. Then He gave you freewill by His omnibenevolence. Therefore, how far you reach is determined by you. The decisions you make will determine the scope of your destiny. How much you can take will be determined by your capacity.

    God is a God of abundance, not waste. He gives according to your abilities. That means two important things; if God gives you something to do, that means He knows fully well that you can handle it. It also means how much He can give you is not only determined by Him, but by you. He does not force anything on anyone. He is more than willing to give; it is your capacity to receive that determines what you receive. Therefore, be diligent! Whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.

    So you see that your destiny is not cast in stone? God did not create robots. He created you to participate. Don’t get me wrong; what He has written concerning you in your books is established. However, it is not rigid. God intentionally left some things open so you can participate. There are a lot of freewill decisions you can do within the boundaries of God’s Will for your life. Therefore, in areas where God does not give you specific instructions, obey the general instructions of the Word and you’ll still be in alignment.

    Spiritualities & Physicalities

    Superspirituality is inferiority complex in disguise. Because tell me why you want to use spirituality to do something you can do physically. God does not do magic. Has anyone’s teeth been brushed by angels before? Instead of taking action, we want to send God on an errand to do it for us. Spiritual things are done spiritually. Physical things are done physically. Of course, there is always an interplay between the two realms where something done in the spirit affects the physical realm and vice versa. However, it’s laziness and often diabolical to use spiritual means to do something physical.

    Apply for the job. There’s nothing wrong with actually applying. Those who didn’t apply for the job they got actually applied for other jobs. Because of the fear of failure, we don’t want to try and fail since it’s easier to shift the blame to God when nothing is happening. Propose to the lady. God has given you the sign, given you the desire and given you the opportunity. Why are you telling God to tell her for you? Be bold and ask for that request. It will be given to you. You’ve prayed and hit a note of victory. Continuing to pray for an answer you’ve already received is a prayer backed by fear. Take action!

    We pray for God to show us what to do. That’s participation. We pray for God to give us an idea. There’s definitely something we can do physically. Praying for God to do something you’re supposed to do is usually a hidden symptom of inferiority complex. God wants to raise us. He wants to make you bold and courageous. It’s toddlers who are always pointing for things to be done for them. If stepping out in faith sounds like a false doctrine to you, that’s inferiority complex at work. Stop sending God on errands. He will do only what He can, and will never do what you’re supposed to do. Otherwise, you’ll never take responsibility. What a Father He is.

    Doubting God, Believing satan?

    When God appeared to Gideon, He called him a mighty man of valour. Gideon saw himself as far less and had settled for that. We saw the symptoms at play; blaming God, because that’s the easiest thing to do. Everyone is at fault except you because you have “great ideas” of should-haves and could-haves but zero responsibility. When it comes to your destiny, the devil has no say on how far you go. Only you! Believe God. He made you. He knows you, and predestined you. Trust Him. He is the Truth. What He says concerning you is faithful and true. Why are you comfortable doubting Him?

    If God says one thing, we doubt Him for so long and keep asking Him for affirmation. If the devil says one stupid thing, we don’t even doubt it and we run with it like it’s Gospel truth. God says “a city set on a hill cannot be hidden”. Why have you put your light under a basket to accommodate the darkness? How many times should He tell you to start the business? Start early so you can fail early and succeed well. If you believe the whispers of the devil, you have robbed yourself of your own destiny. The best the enemy can do is to suggest. The final decision is in your hands. Whose report will you believe? As long as you pay attention to satan, you’re guaranteed to remain small. Let the great God make you great by His great Word.

    It is the Word of God that will renew your mind. Once you believe what God says about you, you have already stepped into greatness even before manifestations confirm. If God has told you He will give you a private jet, believe Him while you ride the bike. Inferiority complex is wishing for greatness and making mediocre decisions and thinking by some magical favour of luck, we will find ourselves at the top. Even the kingdom of darkness does not operate that way. In fact, our corporate world does not operate that way. It’s only inferiority complex that will cause a person to think like that. If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.

    Mindset Shift

    You can become small by accident but nobody becomes great by accident. Anything you get by luck cannot be maintained. Eg. If God has told you He will give you a private jet, you’ll ride a bike, a motorcycle, a car and a bus but still have that vision ahead of you that is predetermining your path. As aforementioned, God does not do magic. You’re renting now, but you know that as you keep building momentum, you create an landing space for God’s promised blessings to manifest. For you, it may look like David came out of nowhere to kill Goliath. However, David was over-prepared before the day of his manifestation. His mindset shifted long before the manifestation.

    Expecting the private jet while you’re still renting is nonsensical. Jet fuel alone will cripple you at this level of capacity. Stop believing in some magical favour. God does things beyond human logic but God is not illogical. Expecting great blessings out of the blue on something you’re doing in a small way with a small mindset is believing in magic. You’ll get heart attack when the blessings even land because it will be way beyond your capacity. Somehow, we forget that blessings need to be maintained. A blessing you can’t maintain becomes like a burden and a curse, which will cause you to blame God later. Thus, God will not cast His pearls before swine or give what is holy to dogs.

    See the truth of the matter is, the only person belittling you is you. Heaven highly adores you and hell highly esteems you. That notwithstanding, how you see yourself is more important than how anyone else sees you. If you think you’re small although God says you’re great, you’ll be small. When God gives you a mandate, think from Heaven towards earth and not from earth towards Heaven. You are truly seated in heavenly places in Christ Jesus. You have dual citizenship, and you cannot do heavenly assignments with earthly thinking. God wants to give you ten cities but He will give you 5 talents first. May He find you as a good and faithful servant who can be put in charge of many. AMEN!

  • Main Character Syndrome

    It is so easy to create a platform via social media. You can do that with zero resources, zero credibility, zero track record and zero backing from Heaven or even hell, and be deceived by the little traction you get and conclude that you’re doing something. Thus, the average person is most likely to suffer from main character syndrome, even in Christian circles. Not everyone is a Moses or an Elijah or a Samuel. Not everyone is going to be a CEO, the next hottest thing in town or a household name. In fact, there’s a 1% chance you’re going to be the face of a generation. Yet, everyone seems to think that that’s their destiny.

    It’s the disease of the world, the pride of life. Every footballer starts their career wanting to be the new Messi and have the kind of career he had. Meanwhile, Messi himself did not even start life with that mindset. There’s a thin line between being courageous and being arrogant. Being arrogant will only cause God to resist you rather than exalt you. That’s the kind of pride that brought Lucifer crushing down. It’s not a blank cheque to dream big. There are many things outside of your boundaries you should never seek. If you do, it is covetousness.

    If you read the Scriptures, all the “main characters” “shied away” from being the main character. David was just a shepherd boy in the field of Bethlehem. Moses was trying to convince God he shouldn’t be the one to deliver the people of Israel from Egypt. Jeremiah was looking for an excuse not to be a prophet to the nations. Jesus chose fishermen and made great destinies out of them. Everyone chosen did not count themselves as qualified. Today, we are the ones desperately telling God what He should do when He has already predestined our lives before time immemorial.

    Remember, God did not use Joseph until he died to the main character syndrome. In the dispensation of the church, the focus of God is to raise a people as one person who has reached the full stature of Christ. “We all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ”. That notwithstanding, a few predestined people have been chosen to sit in particular offices to equip the rest of the saints in the work of their ministry. They are not mediators. They are servant leaders. They are not celebrities. They are frontrunners.

    Heaven will be full of surprises. Why? The woman who sweeps the church, who was never in the spotlight, will be wearing a glorious crown. Anna the prophetess, the one who looked like she was wasting her life away in the temple, will be rewarded tremendously for standing in the gap for a generation as she prayed the Messiah into birth. It’s not about being in the spotlight, but about following the light on your path. As great as Elijah and Elisha were, they were not predestined to be authors of any Scriptures. As honourable as Moses and Daniel were, they were not in the lineage of Jesus.

    When men remember history, they cannot remember a team; they only need a face. So we know names like Sir Isaac Newton, King David, Diego Maradona, Shakespeare, Alexander the Great etc, but these people had men. They weren’t lone rangers. Sir Isaac Newton said, “if I have been able to see further, it’s because I stood on the shoulders of giants.” As a result, we think that the greatest are the most remembered. We forget the words of Jesus so quickly. Remember, what God calls a success (like a 33-year old dying naked on a Cross) is not what men call a success. Jesus Himself said John the Baptist is the greatest among all born of a woman. Think about it!

    Heaven does not weigh men according to their fame, possessions, achievements and escapades. Heaven judges our good works according to the Will of God predestined beforehand that we should walk in. Any other thing I do outside of what is written in my books is of no use, really. Therefore, we are not here to do it all. We are here to do what God predestined for us to do. Once you find your place, your people and your purpose, pour out your best to purposely do all you can to bring pleasure to the One who predestined you. Because Heaven will not reward popularity; God will reward those who played their part even though the spotlight was never on them.

    Thus, you’re here as God’s masterpiece, prepared beforehand for good works that you should walk in them. Your main objective is to please Him, not “look good” to your generation. If you are to be a missionary to a village in His books but you rather prefer to be a pastor of a megachurch, you have missed the point. We need to know this. Exploits in this Kingdom is not generic. Killing Goliath is exploits. Being thrown in the lion’s den is also exploits. Being saved from death is a testimony. Dying for the Gospel is also a testimony. It all depends on what is specifically written in your books.

    The main character syndrome in the Body of Christ is as a result of how we see the purpose of our lives. We see it from an individualistic perspective. However, the purpose for your life is simply a tiny bit of the bigger purpose God is wanting to achieve. In other words, there is a purpose God wants to achieve, and you, other people, angels, events and sometimes even animals interplay to bring that purpose to life. If you have an individualistic view of your destiny, you’ll see yourself as the main character in life. Locate yourself in the cooperate destiny within the Will of God and you’ll play your role faithfully without envying what another is doing.

    Andrew is the one who introduced Peter to Jesus but at the end of the day, Peter is well-known, given a more prominent role and even had the privilege of writing Scripture. If Andrew was to see it from an individualistic perspective, he can become envious, bitter and feel cheated by God. Meanwhile, Andrew is among the 12 given a special reward in Heaven. If we are all advancing the same kingdom and bringing glory to the same God, wherein lies the envy? Stay in your lane and run your race. It’s not a competition.

    See, we need to redefine what we think greatness is. Yes, we are all great and will do great things, but not according to a generalized worldly view. Joseph secured a place in Egypt for Israel but Moses delivered them out. If you don’t believe me, think about Jesus’ purpose and count how many people, events, angels and even animals came together for God’s purpose to be fulfilled. From Abraham to David to Anna to Simeon to Mary to the fish with coins in its mouth to the donkey to Simon of Cyrene to Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea to His 12 disciples all the way to you and I.

    See the purpose of your life as part of the jigsaw puzzle. We all have individual unique callings coming together to accomplish the bigger picture of God’s purpose. Therefore, if I’m Joseph’s brother, I actually need Joseph to succeed because his success is tied to my destiny too. If I’m Esther, I need Mordecai. If I’m Ruth, I need Naomi. If I’m Ezra, Nehemiah is not my competition. He’s rather a contributor to the same overall destiny of God in my generation.

    What God wants to do with you didn’t start from you and won’t end with you. If you fail, posterity will suffer because of you but God’s grand plan will come to pass regardless. Therefore, play your role wherever you find yourself. Die to the idea of becoming great in the eyes of your generation. You haven’t failed if your generation doesn’t know you. You’re not here to be known by men. You’re here to know and please Him who sent you here. May we not crave for what God never gave us.

    As we have discussed this superiority complex, it’s necessary that we balance it by talking about inferiority complex. Otherwise, it may look as though greatness is a crime, thereby exalting false humility. To be continued…

  • Choosing to Stay Pure in a Sexually Immoral World

    “If God didn’t want us to have sex before marriage, He would have given us our sexual organs on our wedding days”, says the fool who refuses to think deep. No boss will pay you a salary on the first day of employment. No tree will bear fruit on the first day of planting. Besides, people in ancient times used to be given in marriage soon after their puberty was discovered. The point is, no one is stopping you from enjoying sexual pleasure. God is rather preventing you from tremendous destruction.

    With great freedom comes less safety. Thus, the need to keep sexual pleasure within the safety of a commitment. If you’ve been involved in sexual immorality of any form before, you’d realize it has a really high addictive power. You can get addicted to porn for the majority of your life, fornicate every weekend, masturbate when the opportunity presents itself and lust continuously after someone almost every day. In fact, it is the highest sin one can commit (because it is a sin against your own body: 1 Cor 6:18) and the one that can permanently destroy your life the most.

    Yet, let’s not give it all the credit. It is not the most powerful force in the world. It is not the strongest drive. It’s not even the most addictive. Evil always looks like the winner when compared to good. That’s why I like what 1 Peter 1:14 says. Some versions use the word “ignorant”. We were ignorant. That’s why we kept going back. We thought the edge is too strong. That’s why we give in to it all the time. We didn’t know any better.

    So how do we live above that? It’s simple, not easy. We need to live as God’s obedient children. God will never lead us into temptation. If we find ourselves in one, His Voice will be loud and clear on what we must do. See it this way; it is more difficult to hear God’s Voice and still disobey. For His Voice will keep ringing in our minds and hearts to flee, to stop, to not venture, to expose the darkness, to unhide the secret sinful life. For no sexual sin can exist in Light.

    If you have never indulged in one form of sexual immorality like say, fornication, don’t fancy those who do. Don’t judge them either. In a few years to come, you can find yourself in a similar situation as theirs, if not even worse. If you have made up your mind to keep yourself until marriage, keep that mindset intact. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Don’t let anyone belittle your virginity to you. Even rags have value, how much more wedding dresses.

    If you have dirtied yourself before and you feel devalued, get up from the mud and keep going. It’s not the end of the journey. This may not sound encouraging but there are far worse temptations awaiting you. There are bigger mountains to climb. Don’t let this hill look like it’s the end of the road. If you don’t even care anymore because you’ve gone too far and you’ve been in too deep, I’m here to tell you that it’s not too late. The prodigal son was competing with pigs to eat but the day He returned, His Father gave him the best robe, put a ring on his finger and got sandals on his feet. These three things represent his royalty, authority and dignity. In just one day, he was completely restored and he never went back.

    This post is for you. It is exactly what you need to hear right now. There is still hope. Grace is still available. There is still enough power, to stay pure in a sexually immoral world. I love you ❤️

  • Vessel of Honour: Becoming Great in the Authenticity of your Design

    Becoming successful is an undying trend in the 21st century. This is because of the realization that virtually anybody can become successful. Unlike in past centuries, your success is not primarily dependent on the status of your family, level of education and other social privileges that put a select few at a ridiculously high advantage. This is good news. Anyone can become successful.

    However, climbing the ladder of success has become a systematic approach, a mathematical formula, a scientific method. One needs to have something, do something in a certain way, act like a certain kind of person. We seem to have made a god out of the standard for attaining success that people legit think they have to lose themselves to attain it.

    What if I told you that the only way you can be great in your unique way is by simply being your authentic self? If you have to be like someone to be great, you will only be an inferior copy of the person. You have unlimited potential to be the greatest version of yourself. Don’t waste it trying to be a duplicate of another person. Nonetheless, you may have some discrepancies that make you feel less of a conqueror;

    Maybe you’re dumb

    Samson got tied up 3 times by Delilah, who desperately wanted to know the secret of Samson’s strength. Ei so Samson couldn’t figure out that this girl wanted to destroy him? After 3 attempts? Don’t tell me he was blinded by love. Being in love is different from being stupid. Samson had both, yet God used him so mightily. He was blinded by his own lust for a forbidden woman. Nevertheless, how God used Samson is unique and very different from every other Bible character.

    Maybe you’re weird

    If you’re like me, you probably do some weird shit regularly that leaves people wondering if what they just witnessed was real. You even surprise yourself. Even you yourself cannot figure yourself out, how much more others? Indubitably, that cannot be compared to the weirdest guy of all time; John the Baptist.

    He ate locust and wild honey as food, wore camel’s hair and leather belt (Matt 3:4), a kind of fashion that still hasn’t come into style, and lived in the wilderness. Yet, he was so great that “all of Israel went out to meet him”. He was that weird preacher’s kid, coming from a highly religious background. However, when his parents’ friends – the Pharisees – came to be baptized, he called them a brood of vipers. I’m only hoping his parents weren’t so ashamed of him.

    Maybe you’re not qualified

    Sometimes we disqualify our ownselves. Jeremiah thought he was too young. Yet, one of the best kings in Israel’s history was Josiah. He was only 8 when he became king. You think you’re ugly – bad teeth formation, disproportioned nose, unattractive countenance – so you so shy away from public speaking. You think you’re uglier than Abraham Lincoln without a beard? Lincoln had a bone disease that made him so ugly that a little girl told her to grow a beard when he was running for Senate.

    You need to understand that you don’t need to be perfect to be great. Study all the greats in history and you’ll be amazed by their weird shortcomings. That’s why I love the Bible. None of the characters are photoshopped. Moses was a murderer. David was an adulterer. Noah was an alcoholic. Yet, their greatness was unique. Noah was the only righteous man on earth in his time. Moses was the meekest man on earth in his time. David was the man after God’s own heart.

    This is a trustworthy saying; God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called. Greatness lies within the authenticity of your design. Nowhere else. So relax yourself in the Potter’s hand. Let Him make you a unique vessel, a masterpiece fashioned beforehand for greatness. Be yourself. You’re great just the way you are.

  • Reach for Greatness: Unbecoming an Epitome of a Mediocre Lifestyle

    Has anyone ever spoken ill of you? Have you ever been cornered and criticized unfairly? The person or group of people will gather around and spew hurtful words on you and it hits you like a tornado. It dampens your mood and you feel so low and really irritated. And if what they are saying is not even true, it is even more hurtful. As if spears came out of their mouths and pierced right into your heart.

    We may never talk to such people again and definitely won’t be as close to them as we used to be. If such a group happens to be your family, your self-esteem becomes so low and resentment builds up within you. Though eventually you’ll be fine, it doesn’t take away the fact that it hurt you deeply and left you bitter. That is not even the most interesting aspect yet. This is it; do you know we do this to yourselves every now and then?

    We beat ourselves up internally. We are so hard on ourselves for literally insignificant things. We dampen our mood and leave ourselves helpless while convincing ourselves that we deserve this mental and emotional self-punishment. We are so “over-aware” of our flaws and mishaps. Our shortcomings and failures never leave any self-analysis we make. Though people are not right to do it to us, it is meaningless that we think we deserve it when we do it to ourselves. Thus, our egos keep on increasing while our self-esteem drops like food in the oesophagus.

    What are you beating yourself up for? You must be hard on yourself for important things, yes, but do you need to be so hard on yourself for the same damn thing for so long? We speak 150-300 per minute to ourselves everyday. It is called self-talk. That is about 50,000 words a day. 70% of our self-talk is subconscious, and about 70% of everything we say to ourselves is negative. 95% of what we say is repeated most of the time. Just imagine how you keep telling yourself in your mind all the time that you’re not good enough.

    Why are you always speaking low about yourself? You know everyone’s strengths and strongholds but do you even consider yours? You’re always putting yourself in a constant state of “not measuring up” that you don’t even feel as fulfilled when you live up to your expectations. Yes, you don’t need to lower your standards. That will gradually lead you to another form of mediocrity. Rather, use the energy you would have used to condemn yourself for not reaching your targets to push yourself up harder the next time.

    Don’t take life too seriously. Even movie monsters have a good laugh sometimes. You’re not wasting your life when you take a long break. Life is not about crossing all the T’s and dotting the I’s. It is more about having people around you who want to see you win and are there to celebrate you when you do. If you want to reach out for greatness, stop limiting yourself in your own mind. Stop speaking ill of yourself. “As for me, I’m not that good o, it is so-and-so that is good.” Your self-talk is always about what you can’t do, how you’re not that good, and why you can’t do it. False humility is true pride.

    You’re amazing. Your nose shape is beautiful, trust me. You have such a lovely voice. You have the courage to be a public speaker. You’re good enough. You’re strong. You’re wise. You’re decisive. You’re loved. You’re cherished. You’re capable. Nevertheless, always remember this: Until you believe it about yourself, you’ll never believe anyone who tells you no matter how many times they tell you.

    How do you see yourself? 🤔

  • Who Am I? Understanding the 5 Dimensions of Personality Traits

    We all come with varying and complex personalities that can be classified for simpler understanding. No matter the decade of your life I meet you, there’s a part of you that would barely change although you keep on evolving as a person. It’s your personality; the fundamental root on which your core values and principles are based.

    There are five dimensions of personality traits, spelling out the acronym OCEAN; Openness to experiences, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness and neuroticism. One must note that how a person is in any of the aspects to be discussed is not necessarily wrong or right in its self. There are good aspects and bad aspects of each of them.

    Openness / Closeness to Experience

    There are some people who dislike a particular experience for no reason but will never try it out for themselves to know for sure. Others will still be willing to try it out again although the previous experience was bad. It is more like a spectrum. Some on one extreme are very open-minded about new extreme experiences while others on the other side of the spectrum stick to familiar experiences and never try anything out of the blue. It’s in someone’s nature to quickly let go of old experiences in search of exclusively new ones. It’s also in another’s nature to stick conservatively to only what they know and what they came to meet, and have the tendency to paint black any new unfamiliar experience.

    Conscientiousness/Lackadaisicalness

    Ever come across a “serious” guy or girl? Always diligent. Give him a small task and he or she will go at it like the world depends on it. Usually such people have the enabling energy to keep them on their toes. Not everyone can keep such an energy at such a level for a long time. If you aren’t built for it, you’re likely to crumble or break down. Those who have a lackadaisical attitude rather care less. Their slogan is “why so serious?”. They don’t want to make anything – no matter how serious – look so serious. They believe that at the end of the day, the task will get done. They just don’t need to kill themselves for it.

    Extroversion/Introversion

    This is the most well-known and well-understood personality science. Virtually everyone can identify themselves as either of them or a blend of the two called an ambivert. Extroverts are simply people who prefer socially stimulating environments. Introverts rather feel drained after socializing for a long period and regain their energy by spending time alone. Introverts may sometimes act in pseudo-extrovert ways and may have to withdraw for a longer period after that. Extroverts can be out-of-character too but they’d need more stimulation to feel alright. They also communicate differently. Extroverts go straight to the point and can almost always say how they feel. Introverts let much slide but when they do communicate, it’s not as straightforward as it is in their thinking.

    Agreeableness / Disagreeableness

    Some people just don’t like it when we all seem to agree on one thing. They’d quickly pick up the counter side and argue it out. To them agreeableness is a sign that a few are thinking for a lot; People are not using their brains. Someone must disagree; we can’t all think alike. They can disagree with you even before they hear you out. There’s always the other side of the issue they can stand for. Some other people also easily agree with you. You may be totally wrong but they’ll still find a way to agree with how you’re thinking. They may not necessarily agree with you but they understand where you’re coming from. They don’t seem to have a problem with whatever you have to say on any given issue. After all, that’s your opinion.

    Neuroticism / Emotional Stability

    Ever met someone who’s so hard on himself or herself? She cried because she had A- and not A+. When he succeeds massively, he still needs someone to convince him that he did well. You can easily give him a bad day by ruining his mood. She’s insecure and asks too many irrelevant personal questions. “Do you think I’m pretty?”. “You haven’t said hi to me for the 34 days.” Their mood swings are the worst. Those on the other hand can keep a “perfect composure” regardless of how stressful their situation is. Never too happy or too sad. To them, life simply goes on, whether it gets smooth or gets rough. They are not easily angered or annoyed. Their large threshold to tolerate nonsense makes them patient and unperturbed.

    All of these personality traits are on a spectrum. It’s not necessarily fixed. One amazing thing about life is that our brain is highly neuroplastic, that is, you can evolve into anything you want to be. It all depends on your decisions and how you choose to make them. This change doesn’t permanently alter our personality. It modifies it. We are not only our “superpowers”. We are also our flaws. It’s about time you embraced them because they may not be bad after all. It’s all part of your idiosyncrasy.

    This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work on yourself. We tend to act based on our thoughts. Our thoughts are based on our beliefs. We easily believe in values pertaining to how we are (introverts believe so much in peace of mind whereas extroverts believe in expressing yourself) and how we behave according to our personalities. But do work on becoming a better version of yourself, devoid of all the toxic traits associated with your personality.

    Who am I? I am Me, and I embrace it.

  • Who Am I? How Am I Really Like & Why Am I Like That?

    Who am I? A relevant question that anyone can ask themselves, no matter their age. It’s a question that can leave you frustrated, however, if you don’t search for the answer early on in life. Inasmuch as it’s an unending well of discovery, – some of your actions much later in life will still continue to shock you – understanding just an iota of solid truth concerning your identity can be life-fulfilling.

    Since You Are Who You Are and You Are Who You Are Not, removing the impurities of identity confusion is equally important. Who you are is not manufactured. It already exists. It is only discovered. Your identity unfolds before your eyes and resonates within you as you journey through life. What we fail to realize is that we are like all other people, like some other people and like no other person. Let’s dive in.

    We Are Like All Other People

    How am I like? I am like everyone else. Differences spring from similarities. Look around you, it’s the order of nature. Different children coming from the same womb, different rivers flowing from the same source, different plants sprouting from the same ground. In fact, everything can be traced all the way back to having the same source. Our identity is no different. We are first of all like everyone else before we can be like no one else. In the broader picture, we are like each other. We all have the same basic needs and instincts. There are several instances where human behaviour is so predictable that basically everyone will behave the same or in a similar manner in a given circumstance, given the same conditions.

    As individuals, we fancy the idea that we are special. There’s nobody like us. We are different, in our own world, in our own lane. Then we face a situation that makes us realize we are not that special. We are not as fanciful as we thought we were. The truth is, we are special, just like everybody else. “Special” doesn’t mean you’re different and everyone else is the same. Everyone is special. Everyone is unique, individually. How can you be special if everyone is also special? Doesn’t that put everyone on the same stage again and defy the meaning of the word? Well, only if you judged your uniqueness by comparing yourself to others.

    Scientifically, how we are like everyone else is our biogenic nature. Neurophysiologically, all humans are the same. We all want the same basic things in life, from the hardest criminal to the most innocent civilian; to minimize pain and maximize pleasure. Our choices and decisions towards this goal and what pain and pleasure means to us individually is what creates the differences. Metaphorically speaking, we all have the same book but we are all not on the same page. We all need love, attention, appreciation, affection, and everything else on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. However, what it looks like to us and how we want it defers from one individual to the other.

    Who Am I? Am I Who I Really Am or Who I Think I Am?

    We Are Like Some Other People

    How am I like? I am like some other people. How we are like some other people is our sociogenic nature or second nature. It is more about how we relate with others. The socio-cultural aspect of ourselves. It’s about your habits, attitudes, temperaments, preferences and behaviors; how we are, where we live and how we were brought up. Whether we admit it or not, there’s a way females behave that cut across board. There’s a way blacks behave. A way evangelicals behave. You may not notice because you are a part of it, but others you’re observing from the outside see it clearly. It starts from a broader grouping like perhaps how an entire nation behaves, all the way down to how a family behaves.

    Your individuality and ability to conform cannot be separated. They go hand-in-hand, just like how your soul draws your body and spirit together. We are social beings. We were designed to belong. Our sense of belonging is so central to our wellbeing that feelings of belonging influence an individual’s identity and the extent to which they feel accepted, valued and able to take on a role in society. Once in a while, the universe brings us into contact with people who are likeminded, who share the same mindsets and have the same weird ideologies. These encounters can live us in shock. We thought we were the only ones who believe that or disbelieved that, liked or disliked that. But here we are, with a “stranger” who holds the same virtues, values and opinions emphatically.

    Have you ever met someone you instantly connected to? After meeting the person for one or two times, something clicks. You definitely know for sure that that’s the kind of person you need to be rolling with in your life. You can try this experiment. Go to a place where you don’t know anyone and stay there for a while – another country, another school, another city. After a considerable amount of time, your circle will still be a reflection of the kind of person you are. All your close friends are like you in some way. As a matter of fact, this is a well-known concept and I can’t stress enough on it. The people you have around you are a representation of who you are.

    This is a good enough reason to surround yourself with good people. Just like how you live an imprint of your DNA on anything you touch, our identities rub off on each other. Others are rubbed so hard that they pick up another’s identity as theirs. One terrible mistake people tend to make is that they pick the idiosyncratic nature of their role model or the person they look up to. See, you’re allowed to be like someone else, but not to the point of losing your unique nature. It’s natural to admire and aspire to be like how someone is like. But don’t lose your originality and try to be someone’s counterfeit copy.

    Who Am I? What Is My True Identity & Where Is It Found?

    We Are Like No Other Person

    How am I like? I am like no one else. One funny thing about humans is how we so easily complicate simple matters. When it’s right side up, we tend to turn it upside down. This is no different. People can argue about how they are different from everyone else when you talk about they being like everyone else. When it finally comes to how they are different from everyone else, they tend to struggle to know their own unique style and lifestyle. I think this is because everything in life is intertwined and it’s difficult to separate conjoined things. Thus, not everyone discovers how they are different from everybody else. We don’t even know why we do the things we do, sociogenically.

    Your uniqueness is tied to the intention of your design. That is, we are not just a bunch of personality traits. There is that inner being that draws people to you. That makes people love you. Sooner or later, everything you need externally will find you. Destiny will find you. Your path will find you. Purpose will find you. Your circle will find you. But it’s up to you to realize that this is it. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, you wouldn’t know whether you’ve found it or not. Finding yourself and what resonates with you is a matter looking for the roots rather than the fruits. What is underneath what is underneath? It is about finding the source of the river, not the river itself. If you find the source, you can connect to the ecosystem of Life everlasting.

    Isn’t it amazing that for all people who have ever lived, are alive and will ever live, there is only one YOU? There is nobody like you and there’ll never be anyone like you. That’s true authenticity; a kind of perfection that can only be divinely orchestrated. Yes, you may have the same nose as your parents, the same handwriting as a stranger or even the same interest as a friend, but you’re unique and there’s none like you. No one comes close to being you. They can be like you, you can be like them, but you’re holy, consecrated, set apart, unique. There is none like you. None can be compared to you. There’s only one kind of you, beautifully and wonderfully made. Empathically, you have a unique fingerprint like everyone else does, and you leave an imprint like no one else can.

  • Who Am I? What Is My True Identity & Where Is It Found?

    From the gathering of Greek philosophers to the congregation of great theologians to the inscription on the Apollo temple, “know thyself”, identity remains the most unknown and/or the most “unsure of” subject in the history of studies. It is a subject academicians have debated about, musicians have moaned about, artists have abstracted about and wise men have hypothesized about. All their provided answers have an iota of the revelation of truth but none truly answers the simple question, “who am I?“. Indeed, it’s the simplest questions in life that has the most complex and hidden answers.

    Humanbeings have so many dimensions to the extent that some of the dimensions overlap and are still unknown. Therefore, knowing our identity in an unknown dimension becomes virtually impossible. We don’t even know for sure if the question, “Who am I?” is a philosophical one, a scientific one or even a theological one. Before you get to know yourself, you’re old enough to die. Such personal knowledge is of no or less use to a younger individual since he/she has to also go on a personal journey to “know thyself” exclusively. Thus, very little experiential knowledge of identity passes on from one generation to another.

    Growing up, I believed the earth was a living being in and of itself because humans were just like planets. I saw humans as entire planets. We have millions of living things dwelling on us and within us. Thousands of pathogens, microbes and microbiomes. There are also entire systems within us that function outside of our consciousness. They each have an identity of their own and function accordingly. Not just the systems or the tissues but even down to the cells. Within each cell is the DNA 🧬 that contains the code of our identity in various dimensions; our physical, mental, physiological, neurotical, psychological, emotional, material and fundamental makeup.

    Also, growing up, standing beside my mother brought about an outstanding revelation. My mother gave birth to me but my present body would be too big to carry in her womb and deliver. Nicodemus, a great theologian, said it well, “How can someone be born when they are old? Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!” The body she gave birth to is not the same body I have now. Little by little, newer cells replaced each cell in the body I had as a baby until no cell in the body I had as a baby remained.

    Every 7 to 10 years, our body replaces itself with a largely new set of cells. More or less, we have a “new body” every 10 years. In humans, as many as 100,000,000,000 cells die in each adult each day and are replaced by new cells. (Indeed, the mass of cells we lose each year through normal cell death is close to our entire body weight!) The DNA code within the newer cells mostly remain the same as the old but some go through genetic mutation. So who am I? Am I the baby me, the present me or the granny me?

    According to the law of the Conservation of Mass, matter can neither be created nor destroyed. Since the beginning when everything was created out of nothing, everything that existed from then on continue to exist forever. Do you understand? Our bodies weren’t formed out of nothing in our mother’s womb. It’s the materials that exist that formed you. When you die, your material makeup doesn’t disappear into nothingness. It decays and forms the dust of the earth. It’s an entire cycle of matter changing forms. We are everlasting. Not eternal. Anything that has no beginning and no end is eternal. We have a beginning but we have no end, both physically and spiritually.

    The source of all identities is the only Eternal One. That ought to mean that our identity, though found within us literally, goes deeper and further than our material makeup. The source of our identity springs from an immaterial world. As answered in the previous post, Who You Are Who You Are, right now, right here. You’re the same yesterday, today and forever. Just like the Eternal One, who we are, though always present, is not static. It consistently expands into eternity. Since our identity is engrafted in Him, the more we know Him, the more we know who we truly really are. It is not just a theological, theoretical or spiritual understanding. It’s an all-round multi-dimensional encapsulation. It is where all false identities fall off us like flakes and our innermost reality awakes.

    “Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.”
    ‭‭I John‬ ‭3:2‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

    Your journey of life into knowing yourself begins with a journey of walking into knowing Him.