One most important but extremely missing ingredient of Love is forbearance or long-suffering. It has quickly become an unpopular word, almost Old English, barely heard or used in everyday English. It’s not even associated with Love anymore and yet, it’s an underlying theme in the entire Scriptures. Without forbearance, love has an expiry date. Agape Love is understood in this light because the Love that suffers long does not make sense. That notwithstanding, it makes everything else make sense, makes patience a reality, bitterness an abomination and love worthwhile. Let’s delve in!
Love Suffers Long
I know forbearance is old school to this generation. This generation will definitely call this kind of Love stupid, reckless or even immature. Yet, this is what covenanted love looks like. “If we are faithless, He remains faithful; for He cannot deny Himself”. Hosea experienced this love when God used him as a shadow of His love life. Hosea had to love and be faithful to his prostituting wife. His love was not conditional; based on her performance and actions. His love was unconditional; based on himself.
Hosea is not the only one to have embraced this God kind of Love. It was the same chesed Hebrew word used in Ruth’s love for Naomi, David’s love for Jonathan, . It is the same “I’m-not-going-anywhere kind of Love. It is steadfast loyalty, tender mercies, lovingkindnesses. This part can be well understood until we add another ingredient; the wrath of God. See, our love for God ought to include our fear of Him. You separate the two at your own peril. If you love God but don’t fear Him, you’ll begin to live the kind of life that takes evil advantage of His kind of Love.
Judgement as an Act of Love
When it comes to judgement in this context, I’d like to separate it into two; chastening as discipline & executing judgement as justice. It’s not everyone that God chastens. The chastening is part of God’s grooming activity as Bridegroom to His Bride. Not that God is showing favoritism but He can only discipline those who have surrended to Him. In Psalm 32:4, we see the Hand of God upon David when he sinned. This Hand was not responsible for favour but judgement. However, the judgement is not the ultimate or final verdict. Whenever you fall into sin, this Hand falls heavy upon you until you return to your true place.
God’s chastening is important, especially in this age where we are not fully perfect. Although you are not perfect, you ought to strive towards mastery because you have been perfected and given all things that pertains to life and godliness. It is God’s way of saving you from His wrath when He chastens you. Immediately you begin to deviate, you lose your peace. If you sin, you feel conviction from His Spirit. If your prayer life and relationship with God is diminishing, you feel unsatisfied in your spirit. Sometimes, God’s chastening may mean failing where you’re supposed to succeed because if you had succeeded without God, you would have stayed longer in your deviation.
Have you realized God is not wicked? He disciplined you out of love but you thought He was being too hard on you. He’s insisting on you more than you see Him to do others doing worse than you did. Don’t compare yourself to them. They chose to live comfortably in sin. You chose to surrender to Christ. Therefore, He chastening you is legit and must be taken seriously because God takes you seriously. His Love suffers long for you until you reach the full statute of Christ. Do you realize God never reduced or suspended His standard of righteousness and holiness and Justice? Meanwhile, this is a standard all humanity fell short of. God would have been still right to condemn all of us. He didn’t because His Mercy literally endures forever.
Forbearance in Light of Swift Judgements & Making Hell
God’s anger is His ability to carry out judgements against evil, and God’s wrath is His ability to execute His anger. Do you know what? He does not suspend His love in this equation. His anger only exists because of His Love. Just as a father disciplines His children, so does the Lord chasten those He loves. Even allowing someone to go to hell is an act of God’s Love. The power of choice only exists because of Love, and although it breaks God’s heart that you choose something else above Him, He ultimately acknowledges your position to spend eternity without Him. That is Love. He made an intervention by paying such a hefty price to save you, but He won’t force you to spend time with Him if it’s not your will.
He is not willing that anyone should perish but those without everlasting life will perish. It’s those with everlasting life who should not perish. We think Omnipotence is using power to bully and override will. However, God shows His true Power by self-restraint. On the Cross, Christ restrained Himself and laid down His life for me although He had the power to scatter the whole thing. God also demonstrates restraint in not punishing outrightly when injustice is committed. Therefore, what you’re seeing in this New Testament is not God cancelling judgement and Justice forever but restraining judgement until it’s time to sit on the Throne of Judgement.
Right now, He sits on the Throne of Grace so it’s easy to think you can fool and get away with it in the New Testament, unlike in the Old. That’s a lie from the pit of hell. God by no means let’s the guilty go unpunished. Remember, there are more stories in the Old Testament than the New. So it’s not surprising to see more swifter judgements of God in the Old than in the New. What is written in the Old was written for our learning. There are still certain states a man can put himself in to warrant God’s swift judgement, just like in the Old Testament. In fact, the New Testament has several warnings of God’s judgements, both the swift ones and the ones that tarries but happens suddenly. We’ll discuss all that soon. The question one may ask is, why is God putting up with all this inconsistencies of men.
Saved by Grace, Made by Grace
That is why God created humans in the first place. He foresaw all of this and decided to go on with His marvelous plan. In Ephesians 2:4-7, Paul is revealing something eternal and monumental. Before God made man, He already foresaw our fall; our rebellion, sin, and separation. And yet, rather than abandoning the plan, He chose to proceed, because in man’s fall, He saw the perfect opportunity to reveal a dimension of His nature that even angels, principalities, and powers had never known before: grace.
You see, angels see His holiness, His justice, His power, His wisdom, but never His saving grace. There’s no redemption plan for fallen angels. But with us fallen, broken, rebellious humanity, God poured out His immeasurable love, not because we deserved it, but precisely because we didn’t. Here’s the mind-blowing part: In the ages to come, meaning eternally, forever, and ever, God will point at you, yes you, as a living, breathing, glorified, eternal example of what His grace can do. You’ll be the display case, the exhibit, the masterpiece that says, “Look what the mercy and kindness of God can produce.”
It transcends time and creation. New beings, creations, or realms of existence will behold you and marvel, not at you, but at the riches of His grace that you represent. You are proof that God’s love is so powerful, it can transform the dead into life, the lost into seated heirs, the doomed into glorified co-kings with Christ. I have uncovered a glimpse of my eternal significance in God’s eternal story, and all was made possible because God’s Love suffers long. Throughout this entire imperfect journey and sanctification process, the Holy One tolerated my human weakness and frailty, knowing that the good work He has begun in me can be brought to a good and expected end.
To be continued…
One should realize that accepting somebody should never be conditional. This means that when a person accepts someone who has qualities not included in his or her concept of an ideal mate, it should not be the basis for unnecessary expectations. Because if this is the basis of acceptance, chances are, the concerned individual will only be disappointed and the other person will always be at fault in the relationship.