Resonance

Category: Women

  • How to Understand Women II: Dealing with their Double Standards

    Sometimes, all we are looking for in a relationship is reciprocity. No wonder we feel it’s one-sided when it comes to some issues. Turns out, we are not the same and there’s no need to hold your partner to your standards. As a guy, here are 3 double standards you should be mindful of in order to keep your sanity. Enjoy!

    1. Mood

    Mood is like the holy grail of being feminine. Once you are able to crack the code, you will be crowned a god. That’s because females themselves don’t understand the complexity of their own mood. There are too many factors; both internal and external stimuli. But that’s not the point; girls don’t give a damn about the mood of guys. Any moody guy is shamed as feminine. She could get a slight mood change from a “loose” word you said. However, don’t forget this for the rest of your life – Don’t you DARE do to her what she does unto you. As a guy, you will be trying to argue your side of the story from a logical perspective but she doesn’t care. It’s the emotional predicament that she is concerned about.

    She will seldom apologize for what she says but she expects you to, at least, feel remorseful for saying something random that changed her mood. When a girl is moody, as a guy you would notice. Drop everything and try to lighten her mood. Otherwise, you are probably going to say or do something dumb that will cause her to blame you for all her afflictions lol.

    2. Listen

    “We need to talk”, she says. So scary, huh? She’s about to let you guys have a talk on all the petty annoying things she has been having to deal with from you. However, you can never pull that off as a guy. You can’t have “the talk”. At least, not as often as she has hers. She is going to complain about your attitude and how you treat her occasionally but once you begin to complain too much about how she treats you, her mood will change again and she will turn it back on you. Now, you have to apologize for making her mad

    They say men are the leaders of the home but every man knows it’s the woman. Every decision made is based on her preferences, not you as the guy. I’m not lying. Think of any scenario. If she doesn’t like it, we are not having it. If she’s not in the mood, we are not going. If you keep disobeying, her emotional connection towards you will keep dying. She would always want you to take her advice (which is purely based on how she feels by the way) but she will choose to take or neglect your advice based on her mood.

    3. Finance

    Due to societal norms, a problem has arisen. The average lady today doesn’t want to be subjected to how society treated women of old; housewife, second-class citizen, belongs to the kitchen. That notwithstanding, they still want enjoy the privileges of the women of old. So what do we find; his money is our money and her money is her money. Know this and know peace. There are a few percentage of women out there who won’t make this a big deal. It all depends on how she was brought up.

    However, you dare not take advantage of those few rare women. Yeah, she has money but who doesn’t like being taken care of. As a man, it adds to your ego if you are able to take care of your woman. It’s an inherent almost-instinctive nature. The problem lies with the rest of the entitled bitches who think you are supposed to spend your money on her and never vice versa because she’s the one with the vagina. Let me end here and not eat into next week’s post.

    I know there are many double standards women pull on men. Obviously, there are also several double standards society holds women accountable for. I wish I had more time to elaborate. I want to hear from you by the way. As a guy, what are other double standards you can think of? As a girl, do you agree to the aforementioned double standards? Please comment below!

  • Parenthood 202: How Fathers Make a Difference in our Lives

    This is not the most fatherless generation in history. Many generations lost millions of men on the battlefield. Fathers went to war and never returned. Some who returned were better off dead; fatally wounded and had a lot of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder to deal with. Some were deaf from the recurring sound of bombs. Others were too weak to recover from taking too many bullets. There have been many fatherless generations.

    This generation is the most fatherless generation that didn’t lose its fathers to war. In the USA alone, 19.7 million children – which is about 1 of out every 4 children – live without a father in their home. About one-third of Black Americans grow up without a Dad in their home. It’s a fact even from the experiential level, that there is a “father factor” in nearly all social vices.

    With the rise in extreme feminism, many women are gradually leaning toward having no man in their lives. Women are also complaining about double parenting, where there is a father figure in the house but he’s virtually useless and the woman takes double responsibility for running the home. The truth of the matter is, women have an inner craving in them for a male figure in their lives. Someone to protect them, at the very least; someone to direct them; someone to lead them. A girl’s bond with her father greatly affects her relationships with other men.

    Though some men may have failed women in a lot of ways, women must realize it’s only a ripple effect from men not having a father figure in their lives. Lecrae Moore said it better in his song, Just Like You;

    I got this emptiness inside that got me fighting for approval because I missed out on my daddy saying, “way to go”,

    Ain’t get that verbal affirmation or know how to treat a woman, know how to fix an engine,
    To keep the car running

    So now I’m looking at the media and following what they feed me,

    Lecrae Moore – Just Like You

    Fathers -lessness: A Generational Curse

    Our relationship with our earthly father also affects our relationship with our Heavenly Father. In 2001, Jennifer Hamer did research that showed that many African-American youths did not know how to approach their father when in his presence. Thus, if your father is more like a boss, you’re more likely to view God as a boss. Likewise, your relationship with God will likely be a very personal one if he’s a close friend.

    Even if there’s further research to prove that single parenting is equally as good as having two parents around, single parenting is not something to wish for. Single mothers are one of the poorest populations, many of them vulnerable to homelessness. In the United States, nearly half (45%) of single mothers and their children live below the poverty line. It’s not as easy as rich single mothers may make it look. The struggles that single parents face are greater than those in two-parent households.

    Moreover, it’s a generational curse. Men with absent fathers are more likely to become absent fathers themselves. Women with absent fathers are more likely to have children with absent fathers. Further research has shown that growing up without a father can permanently affect your brain. With society on the brink of collapse, the need for a father – not a perfect one, but one who will be there – is more important now than ever. Society will only flourish if matriarchy takes its place by patriarchy, not when the former overthrows the latter. Either of them will fail without the other.

    Be grateful to have a father and father figures in your life. They represented the Father and the fatherhood of God in your life. The enemy’s plan to eliminate fathers from society worked in America, and we all saw the dire effects associated with the rise of LGBT, abortion, gender-affirming surgeries and the lack of common sense. We shouldn’t sit down for this to be replicated in our society. We must honour our fathers, cherish them, celebrate them, remember them, and raise many more sons into fathers.

  • Submission & Feminism

    Submission & Feminism

    Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
    Ephesians 5:21‭-‬22 NIV

    It is outrightly said in many cultures including ours, that the man is the head. As to whether the woman is the tail or the neck by default, it undoubtedly relies on our understanding of “headship”. The word “head” is used 75 times in the New Testament, but never in the sense of overpowering domination. It similarly means Origin or Source. All Paul was saying in 1 Cor 11:3 is that the origin of the woman (not women) is the man. “If you Greeks think the woman is superior to the man because she was created first, you got the “created first” part even wrong.”

    Marriage is not ownership. It is a partnership. If the woman cannot sometimes lead for the man to support, then there’s no mutual submission. When God created a woman as a helpmate to man, He wasn’t creating a slave, subordinate, “lesser vessel”, or someone inferior to the man. The word “helpmate” is used 16 times in the Bible, 3 referring to woman and 13 referring to God. So wherein lies that proposition?

    In such a Greek culture where women were generally idolized, it was important that Paul stresses on the importance of the woman submitting to the man. In our culture where our “foremothers” simply endured emotional, physical and mental abuse in marriage in the name of “submission” – which is just a nicer word for sublime slavery – and sacrificed for the man to the detriment of their goals; dreams; aspirations; basically their life, I don’t think “women, submit to your husbands” should be the emphasis.

    It’s a shock that “wives, submit to your husbands” is such a famous verse and barely anybody took their time to notice the previous verse. “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” It is important to realise that a win-win situation is possible. If women empowerment is to the detriment of men rights, we’re tearing each other down instead of building each other up. It is also important for men to realise that feminism is not a threat to their authority. Fighting for women and fighting against men are two totally different things. It’s about time matriarchs were placed beside patriarchs.

    I love you ❤

  • Stop Raping Women

    Dear men,

    Treating a girl like shit doesn’t make you a man. It makes you more of an animal.

    Every girl has experienced sexual harassment in some form. It will shock you to know the number of girls you know that have been sexually abused. As a guy, you also know at least one guy who brags about taking advantage of girls. Therefore, this rape culture is not far-fetched. Don’t act like it’s happening elsewhere.

    You may not be the problem but make sure you’re not part of it. Stop hyping yourself for never taking advantage of a girl against her will. If you hype what is meant to be normalized, you normalize what is meant to be discouraged. Treating a girl like a human being is normal. It’s not an achievement. It’s the bare minimum.

    Don’t wait till someone rapes your relative or friend until you realize the severity of this problem. Imagine being a girl and having to be constantly taking precautions literally from birth to avoid getting raped? How about we denormalize rape? Adding insult to injury, society blames the girl for falling victim as if those who rape cannot be stopped.

    If girls don’t feel comfortable around you, you’re part of the problem. If you’re always demeaning women, you’re part of the problem. You coerce girls to do things with you, you’re part of the problem. If you still hang out with friends who undermine women, you’re still part of the problem. If your first instinct is to question what the girl did or didn’t do when she fell victim, dude you’re a BIG part of the problem.

    Stop treating women like they are some sex objects, a minority group or second-class citizens. And if you STILL don’t see where the problem is, you’re the worst part of the problem.

    If you’re not supporting the #saynotorape movement, then it speaks volumes about you. Stop avoiding the subject. Stop running away from the real issue. It’s not about what women should do anymore. The question is, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? What you’re doing is either encouraging the culture or annihilating it.

    If you still think that “real” men aren’t the problem, how about you fight side by side with women? What about that? How about you let go of those shallow-minded, unwilling-to-learn-yet-really-dumb friends you have. You have a voice. Use it!