Resonance

Tag: argument

  • How To Understand Women

    How To Understand Women

    Life without females would be a pain in the ass, literally! Though they make situations a bit more difficult than they’re supposed to be, they make life much more interesting than it would have been. They add a little more extra everywhere. They may be a little more extreme but definitely quite distinct and super amazing. To be very honest, understanding them is a hoax but hey, at least I made an effort – like the gazillion number of men before me who successfully failed to crack the code.

    Women love attention

    We each have the desire to be loved and accepted. Abraham Maslow recognized this in his Pyramid of needs and identified it as a social need. No matter who you are, you belong to something. Women do have a strong sense of belonging. Though not every lady wants to be in the spotlight, they would love to have your attention provided you treat them right. The more you make them feel special – like they are the centre of the universe, like there is no other person but them – the more they’d love your company.

    Women care 1000% about diction

    They say, “Men are moved by what they see, but women are moved by what they hear.” There is an iota of truth in that. No matter how a lady likes you, she’d still want you to initiate; you’d still have to “sweet talk” with her; you’d still have to treat her right. Whether the lady will become offended or feel the love, it all depends on your choice of words. Once you make the wrong choice of word in a conversation, she’d expect that you apologize. She may even understand what you’re trying to say, but you’d still have to say it.

    Women love to be right

    Women are very intuitive. They listen to their intuition more than men do. Sometimes they just know that something is wrong beyond all reasonable doubt. Women may not always be right, but they are never wrong. She has all the right in the world to tell you that they tried to tell you yet you wouldn’t listen, but don’t dare try to tell her that. A wise man once said, “As a man, when you’re wrong, apologize; when you’re right, shut up.” A man who loves to always be right is seen by women as proud and egotistic. A woman who loves to be always right is simply being a woman.

    Women are empathic

    No matter how hard a woman becomes, she still has a soft spot. Of course, at the beginning she may a very nut to crack but spending time with her alone softens her heart towards you. The average lady is very emotional. Funny enough, if a guy had the same amount of mood swings a lady had in a single day, he’d be seen as psychopathic and may be on medication for having split personality disorders. When offended, she doesn’t get pissed, she gets mad. The psychophysiology of males and females are distinct. Women have a different kind of logic. When you talk to her, she listens to what is not being said. That’s why good mothers are good listeners.

    Women know what they DON’T want but may not know what they want

    There is nothing that two people in love cannot do except – of course – deciding where to eat. In a relationship, barely would a woman make the vital decisions.

    She’d tell you what to do, but if it fails she’d blame you because you took the decision. Women seldom know what they want yet they may complain bitterly about what they have.

    Whether it’s a house design or sex life, they’d express how they dislike the current state and then expect you to know what to do. They have a strong desire for what they want. When they see what they want, they’d know. Confused? Don’t worry. Women themselves know it’s confusing because they don’t even understand themselves. How can you know what you don’t want and still not know what you really want?

    What exactly do they want? That is a puzzle that the guy has to solve.

    Ladies, is this true? Guys, do you agree with me? Let’s see your comments. Will deffo have to continue with this. Hope you enjoyed it! Don’t forget to like and share. By the way, this is all meant to be fun. Please don’t be mad at me, O woman in thine period. I know all these doesn’t necessarily apply to all women, of course! Please don’t insult me. Thanks 😂

    I love you

  • Why Do We Argue A Lot? Understanding Arguments In a Relationship

    Why Do We Argue A Lot? Understanding Arguments In a Relationship

    Every relationship begins on a “honeymoon” phase. The feelings are so heightened and the love for each other is so heartfelt that we tend to overlook our partner’s flaws. Every shortcoming is taken lightly. Any misunderstanding that shoots up is swiftly swept under the carpet by reminding ourselves of how madly in love we are with each other. Yet as time goes by, friction starts to come into play. We all are never perfect so our flaws, mishaps and insecurities are soon exposed in our relationships. That’s because now there are two of us sharing our lives together. Surely that doesn’t justify why we should argue all the time. That should rather justify why we should deal with our personal problems together as a couple. So then, why are we still arguing?

    We argue;

    1. ’cause we wanna be right

    It’s such a bad feeling to feel wrong. So whenever an issue comes up, we wanna justify our actions. We are so busy trying to make a point that we forget that our significant other is coming from a place of love. What makes the argument difficult the more is when we’re trying to convince ourselves that we indeed did the right thing. Because indeed we are not convincing our partner; we are trying to convince ourselves by justifying the right in our wrong. We don’t want to look like the one in the relationship always making the silly mistakes. This leads us to the second point which is closely tied;

    2. ’cause we wanna prove that the other is wrong

    If there’s something more difficult than trying to convince someone that we’re right, it’s trying to convince them that they’re wrong. In doing this, we are projecting something wrong on them. Since no one is perfect, we’re definitely going to find something to point out. If nothing really comes to mind at the time, we’d make something up. That’s why we as couples should never store any dislike for our partner in our minds. If there are any dislikes that we happen to come across, we should immediately point it out. Nothing hurts more than your lover pointing out all their dislikes about you that you initially didn’t know they disliked in one argument.

    3. ’cause we feel attacked so we get defensive

    All living things have adaptive features that protect them against harm in the environment. As humans that are evolving, we still have that defensive mechanism. Thus, we’d defend ourselves against what is trying to degrade our mental state of being in any way. The argument is a mental fight. Winning it boosts our ego. Losing it is mentally disturbing. What do we do when we realise we’re losing? We get defensive. We talk about how good and supportive we’ve been to our partner in the past. We remind them of our sacrifices. As a way of working on their soft spot, we try to convince them that we’re not that bad. Though it sounds like a good thing, it is actually unnecessary to do so when all the other partner needs is a sincere apology.

    4. ’cause we attack as a means of being defensive

    The best way to defend is to attack. When one is attacking, the other has to defend. Sometimes, that’s not really the case. We rather counter-attack. As our partner is listing our flaws and how we need to put our shit together, we decide not to go down so easily. We dirty ourselves in the mud. We also list all their flaws and shortcomings and exaggerate on how bad it is. Counter-attacking means my voice should be louder than yours. The emotional trauma alone of being shouted upon is disheartening. It never stops ringing in your ears. When the same point is repeated over and over, that adds insult to injury. This is because it really gets into our minds at the end of the day.

    We should always remember that there’s a difference between having a misunderstanding and arguing. Misunderstandings will always arise because we are not all the same. We must make sure that we don’t argue when there’s a misunderstanding. Arguing is basically stress. No one should sincerely have the energy to argue all the time. After all, what do you want at the end of the day; to win the argument or to enjoy your relationship?

    I love you ❤