Resonance

Tag: women

  • How To Understand Women

    How To Understand Women

    Life without females would be a pain in the ass, literally! Though they make situations a bit more difficult than they’re supposed to be, they make life much more interesting than it would have been. They add a little more extra everywhere. They may be a little more extreme but definitely quite distinct and super amazing. To be very honest, understanding them is a hoax but hey, at least I made an effort – like the gazillion number of men before me who successfully failed to crack the code.

    Women love attention

    We each have the desire to be loved and accepted. Abraham Maslow recognized this in his Pyramid of needs and identified it as a social need. No matter who you are, you belong to something. Women do have a strong sense of belonging. Though not every lady wants to be in the spotlight, they would love to have your attention provided you treat them right. The more you make them feel special – like they are the centre of the universe, like there is no other person but them – the more they’d love your company.

    Women care 1000% about diction

    They say, “Men are moved by what they see, but women are moved by what they hear.” There is an iota of truth in that. No matter how a lady likes you, she’d still want you to initiate; you’d still have to “sweet talk” with her; you’d still have to treat her right. Whether the lady will become offended or feel the love, it all depends on your choice of words. Once you make the wrong choice of word in a conversation, she’d expect that you apologize. She may even understand what you’re trying to say, but you’d still have to say it.

    Women love to be right

    Women are very intuitive. They listen to their intuition more than men do. Sometimes they just know that something is wrong beyond all reasonable doubt. Women may not always be right, but they are never wrong. She has all the right in the world to tell you that they tried to tell you yet you wouldn’t listen, but don’t dare try to tell her that. A wise man once said, “As a man, when you’re wrong, apologize; when you’re right, shut up.” A man who loves to always be right is seen by women as proud and egotistic. A woman who loves to be always right is simply being a woman.

    Women are empathic

    No matter how hard a woman becomes, she still has a soft spot. Of course, at the beginning she may a very nut to crack but spending time with her alone softens her heart towards you. The average lady is very emotional. Funny enough, if a guy had the same amount of mood swings a lady had in a single day, he’d be seen as psychopathic and may be on medication for having split personality disorders. When offended, she doesn’t get pissed, she gets mad. The psychophysiology of males and females are distinct. Women have a different kind of logic. When you talk to her, she listens to what is not being said. That’s why good mothers are good listeners.

    Women know what they DON’T want but may not know what they want

    There is nothing that two people in love cannot do except – of course – deciding where to eat. In a relationship, barely would a woman make the vital decisions.

    She’d tell you what to do, but if it fails she’d blame you because you took the decision. Women seldom know what they want yet they may complain bitterly about what they have.

    Whether it’s a house design or sex life, they’d express how they dislike the current state and then expect you to know what to do. They have a strong desire for what they want. When they see what they want, they’d know. Confused? Don’t worry. Women themselves know it’s confusing because they don’t even understand themselves. How can you know what you don’t want and still not know what you really want?

    What exactly do they want? That is a puzzle that the guy has to solve.

    Ladies, is this true? Guys, do you agree with me? Let’s see your comments. Will deffo have to continue with this. Hope you enjoyed it! Don’t forget to like and share. By the way, this is all meant to be fun. Please don’t be mad at me, O woman in thine period. I know all these doesn’t necessarily apply to all women, of course! Please don’t insult me. Thanks 😂

    I love you

  • Does the Bible Inferioriate Women?

    Does the Bible Inferioriate Women?

    He (Paul) writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction.
    2 Peter 3:16 NIV

    One may ask after reading what the New Testament letters got to say about women, “was Paul trying to downgrade the place of women?”. Certainly not. Paul was a radical person. He can be easily misunderstood, especially by those who want to do what they want but need Scriptural backing.

    Paul’s message about Grace has been misunderstood by generations as a license to sin instead of a license from sin. People say Paul said it is good for man to be alone (1 Cor 7:8) when God had said that it is not good for man to be alone (Gen 2:18). People say Paul said only “holy” people can take communion (1 Cor 11:27) when Jesus had said communion was for the remission of sins (Matthew 26:28).

    Paul is not a controversial person. It is just how we read the Bible. The fact that the Bible is the Word of God does not necessarily mean we shouldn’t know who the writer’s original audience was. Because aside from Logus (a general Word applicable to everyone) there is Rhema (a specific Word to specific people). To one man, God can say, “Go”. To another man, He can say, “Wait”. Yet to all of us, He says, “Love”.

    Mind you, John the Baptist was not to drink wine (Luke 1:15) but Jesus’ first miracle was turning water into wine (John 2:9). In one church, Paul instructed women not to teach (1 Tim 2:12), and in another He instructs them not to even speak in church (1 Cor 14:35). Yet in another, Paul instructs them to teach what is good (Titus 2:3).

    Am I saying we should be selective with the Word of God? Or that we should throw away what doesn’t favour us and keep those that do? Certainly not. All I’m saying is that let’s understand the context so that we know when to apply what. The Bible is such that – when you throw away the context – you can find a verse to support you. We have to make sure that we are not applying a Scripture because it favours our stance. Rather because it is the Rhema for the context we are living in.

    In my post about Feminism and Submission, I debunked some popular misquoted Bible verses used to undermine the place of women in society. The post on Jesus calling God a woman made Pharisees angry – ironically, the post also made the religious people angry. So you see, it is necessary to understand the context. Context is key! Paul happens to be the most controversial because he is most misunderstood. My post about Understanding Biblical Context concerning women explains why, for instance, Paul tells the church of Corinth that women should not speak in church (1 Corinthians 14:34).

    This is not about gender equality. This is about matriarchy and their God-given place. Once God’s purpose for matriarchy falls on this generation, women of this generation are going to do exploits. Exploits no other generation has ever seen. This collaboration between males and females is yet to be fully realized. Women are not below men in any way. Women were always meant to stand beside, not behind. This same Paul said it beautifully, “Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman.”
    1 Corinthians 11:11 NIV

    I love you ❤

  • What the Bible says about Women: Understanding Biblical Context

    What the Bible says about Women: Understanding Biblical Context

    The entire Bible was directly written to three people groups; Jews (Israelites), Greeks and Romans. In order to understand the context, it’s important that we first know their culture concerning women.

    Phariseeism

    From Malachi to Matthew was 400 years. Within these 400 years, the religion called Judaism emerged. Judaism is not the working out of the Old Testament. Have you noticed that there are no Pharisees and scribes in the Old Testament? They were the ones who developed this religion within the 400-year period. Just like Buddhism, Confucianism, and even Christianity, the religion was created in the name of a person who wasn’t looking forward to creating a religion, this time in the person of Moses. There were 252 laws in the Old Testament (Law of Moses) but by the time Jesus was born, these guys had made it 613, including 100 laws against women. It includes the following;

    Jewish Culture

    In the Jewish setting at the time of Paul, women were the legal property of the men they married. They were considered candid slaves without a voice. They were allowed little or no formal education. Boys were sent to learn their dad’s profession while the girls stayed home with their mothers. Women were forbidden to speak to men in public and were required to veil their faces when in public. Jesus broke this law with the Samaritan woman He spoke with.

    Just then his disciples returned and were surprised to find him talking with a woman. But no one asked, “What do you want?” or “Why are you talking with her?”

    John 4:27 NIV

    If she was caught unveiled, the man is required by law to file for divorce. A woman wasn’t allowed to eat at the same table as a man unless he was her husband. If the husband invited a guest, she was required to eat in a separate room. Marriage was betrothal; she was chosen to be married not the other way around, and there was little she could do about that.

    Whenever the writers of the Gospel wrote that Mary Magdalene was following Jesus, they were actually drawing the readers’ attention to the inclusive ministry of Christ. Women never followed the Pharisee’s congregation. They were not allowed by Judaic law to do so or even be part of the scribes. Religion was a men’s club. Jesus is indeed the friend of the anomalies;

    In Galilee these women had followed him and cared for his needs. Many other women who had come up with him to Jerusalem were also there.

    Mark 15:41 NIV

    Polygamy was allowed for men so women usually shared their husbands with other women. Women weren’t allowed to vote. She even couldn’t be a witness in a court case because the scribes and Pharisees believed women were inherently liars. They weren’t allowed to read the Torah or even be taught the Torah (law of Moses). Jesus broke this law when He taught Mary.

    …Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.

    Luke 10:39b NIV

    They basically weren’t supposed to do or be anywhere that involved more than one man. Thank God we’ve drastically grown past that as a generation. It will be therefore absurd on our side to go back to these things in the name of doctrine just because it’s written in the Bible. Ask yourself first, what’s the context of the content?

    As already stated, the Bible was written to 3 people groups; Greeks, Romans and Jews, especially the epistles. I’ve already discussed the Jewish culture, and now I want to continue with that of the Greeks and Romans, so we understand why Paul said the things he said.

    Roman Culture

    The books that were written to the Romans have no correction for women. No instructions were given by Paul to the Romans to restrict women from teaching or exercising authority. Why? In Roman culture, no one cared who was a woman and who wasn’t. Roman women could buy and sell properties.

    Unlike Jewish women who couldn’t own anything; anything they “owned” belonged to the man. Legally, Roman women were the property of men but in a much more open way. Roman women could have businesses and make money for themselves and own jobs. So for Romans, there were no gender barriers and women weren’t trying to compete with men, unlike extreme feminism today.

    Roman women also had the power to vote. Women weren’t an outcast in Roman settings, the poor were. No one cared if you were a woman or not; no stigma whatsoever against women in general.

    Greek Culture

    Acts 19:28 NKJV

    The Greeks made gods out of women and placed women above men. You’d notice that the epistles where Paul gave instructions for correcting or restricting women were those written to the Greeks. For example, Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 11 that the man is the head of the woman (vs 3), women were created for men (vs 9) and women should cover their hair before praying (vs 13, 6). Why? Corinth was a Greek city with a Greek goddess as the main god of the city.

    Paul writes in 1 Timothy 2 that women shouldn’t wear braids or expensive clothes (vs 9), not teach or exercise any authority over a man (vs 12) and must be silent. Why? Timothy was in Ephesus, a Greek city with a multi-breasted female goddess as the god of the city, the goddess of fertility, Artemis aka Diana. That also explains why Paul said women will be saved through childbirth (vs 15). He wasn’t referring to salvation.

    The city clerk quieted the crowd and said: “Fellow Ephesians, doesn’t all the world know that the city of Ephesus is the guardian of the temple of the great Artemis and of her image, which fell from heaven?”

    Acts 19:35 NIV

    It was the culture of Greek women to travel to Ephesus during pregnancy so that the goddess would save them from death during pregnancy. Greek women were afraid to become Christians and leave Diana’s covering, thus Paul said if a woman walks uprightly and loves God, they will be saved throughout the childbirth process (vs 15).

    In Greek mythology, women are more powerful than men. Their reasons/beliefs were; a woman was created before a man otherwise how could the second human being have been born? Their second reason/belief was that, because a man’s sex drive is typically higher than a woman’s, a woman always has something that a man wants but a man doesn’t always have something that a woman wants. Thus, Greeks usually put women in charge of everything because they believed that they were created first. That’s why Paul wrote this order to them;

    But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
    1 Corinthians 11:3 NIV

    Now that you have a summarised view of how the Bible setting looked like, take your Bible and search for all the verses that “undermine” women and see how enlightening it becomes. Especially, in the gospels, one would beautifully see how Jesus broke all the rules concerning women, one by one. Also, you can do further studies on the various cultures in various settings to further enrich your experience and understanding.

    I love you ❤

  • Submission & Feminism

    Submission & Feminism

    Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
    Ephesians 5:21‭-‬22 NIV

    It is outrightly said in many cultures including ours, that the man is the head. As to whether the woman is the tail or the neck by default, it undoubtedly relies on our understanding of “headship”. The word “head” is used 75 times in the New Testament, but never in the sense of overpowering domination. It similarly means Origin or Source. All Paul was saying in 1 Cor 11:3 is that the origin of the woman (not women) is the man. “If you Greeks think the woman is superior to the man because she was created first, you got the “created first” part even wrong.”

    Marriage is not ownership. It is a partnership. If the woman cannot sometimes lead for the man to support, then there’s no mutual submission. When God created a woman as a helpmate to man, He wasn’t creating a slave, subordinate, “lesser vessel”, or someone inferior to the man. The word “helpmate” is used 16 times in the Bible, 3 referring to woman and 13 referring to God. So wherein lies that proposition?

    In such a Greek culture where women were generally idolized, it was important that Paul stresses on the importance of the woman submitting to the man. In our culture where our “foremothers” simply endured emotional, physical and mental abuse in marriage in the name of “submission” – which is just a nicer word for sublime slavery – and sacrificed for the man to the detriment of their goals; dreams; aspirations; basically their life, I don’t think “women, submit to your husbands” should be the emphasis.

    It’s a shock that “wives, submit to your husbands” is such a famous verse and barely anybody took their time to notice the previous verse. “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” It is important to realise that a win-win situation is possible. If women empowerment is to the detriment of men rights, we’re tearing each other down instead of building each other up. It is also important for men to realise that feminism is not a threat to their authority. Fighting for women and fighting against men are two totally different things. It’s about time matriarchs were placed beside patriarchs.

    I love you ❤

  • Stop Raping Women

    Dear men,

    Treating a girl like shit doesn’t make you a man. It makes you more of an animal.

    Every girl has experienced sexual harassment in some form. It will shock you to know the number of girls you know that have been sexually abused. As a guy, you also know at least one guy who brags about taking advantage of girls. Therefore, this rape culture is not far-fetched. Don’t act like it’s happening elsewhere.

    You may not be the problem but make sure you’re not part of it. Stop hyping yourself for never taking advantage of a girl against her will. If you hype what is meant to be normalized, you normalize what is meant to be discouraged. Treating a girl like a human being is normal. It’s not an achievement. It’s the bare minimum.

    Don’t wait till someone rapes your relative or friend until you realize the severity of this problem. Imagine being a girl and having to be constantly taking precautions literally from birth to avoid getting raped? How about we denormalize rape? Adding insult to injury, society blames the girl for falling victim as if those who rape cannot be stopped.

    If girls don’t feel comfortable around you, you’re part of the problem. If you’re always demeaning women, you’re part of the problem. You coerce girls to do things with you, you’re part of the problem. If you still hang out with friends who undermine women, you’re still part of the problem. If your first instinct is to question what the girl did or didn’t do when she fell victim, dude you’re a BIG part of the problem.

    Stop treating women like they are some sex objects, a minority group or second-class citizens. And if you STILL don’t see where the problem is, you’re the worst part of the problem.

    If you’re not supporting the #saynotorape movement, then it speaks volumes about you. Stop avoiding the subject. Stop running away from the real issue. It’s not about what women should do anymore. The question is, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? What you’re doing is either encouraging the culture or annihilating it.

    If you still think that “real” men aren’t the problem, how about you fight side by side with women? What about that? How about you let go of those shallow-minded, unwilling-to-learn-yet-really-dumb friends you have. You have a voice. Use it!