Resonance

Category: Anxiety

  • How to Care Too Much Without Being Worried

    How to Care Too Much Without Being Worried

    Caring is the most human thing to do. There are many words for “care” in Greek. Two of them are used in 1 Peter 5:7 and give the perfect difference between them.
    “casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully].”
    1 PETER 5:7 AMP

    Cast all your cares because He cares. Wow. Should we actually cast all our cares? Will that make us careless or care less? Will that make us carefree or not care anymore?
    Psychology says one of the most difficult tasks in life is to convince yourself that you do not care. You will have to repeat it over and over to yourself and others and you will still not find peace. No matter what you are in the world; liberal, criminal, realist, atheist, even the worst person on earth, there is someone or something you care about because that is how you were designed; to care. This orchestration to care reaches its max when one becomes a parent, biologically or logically.

    What about faith? When I have an issue at hand, isn’t it normal to worry about it? Real faith is not denying the existence of a problem. It simply denies the problem a place of influence. My substance of faith is not based on my circumstances but on the reality of what isn’t yet seen. Real faith does not cause me to deny that I don’t have money or that I need money; it makes me emotionally stable in my financial crisis because my conviction is not based on what I see. That is just beautiful. The vicissitudes of life is no justification to be worried.

    Worrying doesn’t mean you care. Worry is the sin of leaning on your understanding instead of trusting in God. Jesus said in Matthew 6:27, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”. Worrying is anxious care. The Greek word for the word “worrying” has the same root word for the word “cares” in the verse “casting all your cares”. It means solicitude. It has an idea of distraction. Any form of care that makes you anxious is called worry. Beloved, let us not normalize worry. Worry is a problem that has never solved any problem. As humans, are we supposed to worry sometimes? The answer is in 1 Peter 5:7. Worrying is pretending you care more than the God who said He’ll take care of it.

    Worry is one of those sins that is so subtle. It can show up in your own words to curse your life. We speak 150-300 per minute. That is about 50,000 words a day. 70% is subconscious. Research says we have a negativity bias and tend to value negative thoughts over positive ones. 95% of what we say is repeated most of the time. “As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is.” (Prov 23:7). What have you been thinking about and saying to yourself in the loneliness of your thinking? As Joyce Meyer would say, “Think about what you are thinking about”. Have you brought negative thinking from your distant past into your immediate future?

    Matthew 13:20-21 says “the seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. But since they don’t have deep roots, they don’t last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God’s word.” Worry comes to attack the Word of God you have. If the Word has no root in you, you will let go of the Word. We can all say nice words until hard times hit. When worry attacks you, do you hold on to God’s Word in your heart or the Word was simply in your head so what is planted in you wilts under the heat of the sun?

    Worry does nothing but pull you down. When you’re worried that something may happen, worry doesn’t stop it from happening. It doesn’t make you human. It makes you a prophet of doom over your own life. It breaks you down. It distracts you and distorts your reality towards negative aspects. Worry is a burden. It is burdensome. It changes your focus. It makes you focus on your problem instead of your solution. It magnifies the problem with increasing attention. If you give in to worry every time life becomes hard, worry will control your life in hard times where you need peace and joy the most.

    It all starts with denormalizing worry in your mindset. Realise that you don’t have to worry for a single moment in your life, because Jesus is your rest. Worrying is not planning. Worrying is not caring. Worrying is not thinking. Worrying is stressful. I can think about what I will eat, drink and wear tomorrow without worrying about it. Whenever you begin to worry, think about God’s Truth concerning the matter and cast it ALL on Him. You will realise that many of the things we worry about are actually petty petty things. No problem is ever bigger than God. We have a Father who is willing to take care of us all the way. Put your trust in Him. He knows your end because He planned it.

    Worry can be used as an English word but should not be tempered emotionally. You were made to care, not to worry. Language may mix it but don’t mix it emotionally. Care is heartfelt love. Worry is a mind disturbance. Jesus’ yoke is easy and His burden is light. He gives us rest for our souls. Read Matthew 11:28-30. “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Care because you do. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

    I love you ❤

  • Edification, Exhortation & Comfort : God’s Architecture of Grace

    We all get tired. Even the strongest believers sometimes feel drained. Some feel stuck. Others begin to gradually lose interest and give up. Many get sick and tired of being tired and sick. Even leaders and pastors who spend their lives strengthening others can often find themselves empty. God, in His wisdom, has built a spiritual system to keep His people from collapsing in the vicissitudes of life. He designed a divine rhythm for the soul; edification, exhortation, and comfort. It is God’s healing system for the whole person (spirit, soul, and body) and the whole Body. It is how He keeps His family standing, growing, and enduring until the end. Next week, we will talk about the Mystery of Encouragement but for now, let’s establish the doctrinal side of it.

    Edification: Increasing Our Capacity

    The word edify comes from the Greek oikodomeō which means to build up. It is the act of strengthening, forming, and maturing until a life becomes stable. Spiritually, edification is God’s way of stretching our capacity to carry His life. When you are edified, something within you expands. Your faith deepens, your understanding widens, and your endurance strengthens. You become more capable of carrying divine weight.

    “And now, brethren, I commend you to God, and to the word of His grace, which is able to build you up.” (Acts 20:32)

    God builds us through teaching, truth, and time. Like a master builder laying one stone after another, He establishes your inner man until you can contain more of His strength, more of His wisdom, and more of His people. We do not grow by accident. We grow because the Spirit keeps laying stone upon stone, truth upon truth, grace upon grace. Edification is how God turns the fragile into giants.

    Exhortation: Increasing Our Expectation

    Once you have been built up, you must be stirred up. Exhortation comes from the Greek paraklēsis which means to call near, to urge, to appeal. It is the voice from Heaven that says, “Do not give up. Lift your eyes again.”Sometimes you know the truth, but you no longer expect it to happen. You are built up but not stirred up. That is when the Spirit exhorts. He calls you near, speaks courage into your heart, and rekindles anticipation for what God will yet do.

    “Let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works… exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24–25)


    Exhortation raises your expectation. It awakens the dormant parts of your faith. It moves you from “I know” to “I believe again.” Through a message, a friend, or the quiet whisper of the Holy Spirit, God exhorts His children to rise. The fire may be small, but exhortation breathes upon it until it burns bright again.

    Comfort: Increasing Our Threshold

    Comfort is not about removing pain. It is about raising the threshold to endure it. Comfort comes from paramuthia, meaning to speak closely, to console, to strengthen. It is the tender voice of God in the midst of trial.

    “Blessed be God, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforteth us in all our tribulation.” (2 Corinthians 1:3–4)

    When life feels unbearable, the Comforter sits beside you. He does not scold you for weeping. He stays with you through it. Comfort increases your threshold, your ability to face tomorrow without collapsing today. The comfort of God is not sentimental. It is strengthening. It restores your equilibrium, renews your peace, and brings sanity back to your soul. Comfort does not make life easier. It makes you stronger.

    God’s System for the Prosperity of your Soul

    This threefold process of edification, exhortation, and comfort is God’s divine therapy for the believer. It is how He balances spiritual maturity with emotional wellbeing. It is how He keeps your spirit sharp, your faith alive, and your heart tender. Built up, stirred up, and held up. That is the full rhythm of what I call God’s architecture of Grace.

    God never intended anyone to walk alone. From Eden to the early Church, His answer to human needs has always been another person. He builds through teaching and discipleship. He stirs through encouragement and prophecy. He heals through companionship and compassion.

    > “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” (Proverbs 27:17)
    “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

    When you isolate yourself, you disconnect from this system. Isolation dries the soul. Even pastors need edification. Even prophets need exhortation. Even apostles need comfort. God’s love often comes disguised as a friend who refuses to give up on you, a mentor who speaks correction where you don’t see one, or a circle of friends who simply sits with you in silence. His help usually comes with a human face. A true Word from God will always carry this triadic essence. It will build, stir, and heal. When you stay in fellowship, you stay within God’s healing cycle. The Church is not a club of perfect people but a living organism through which grace circulates. Each believer is both a receiver and a dispenser of Grace.

    “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

    You are God’s instrument of renewal to someone else. Your word, your prayer, your listening ear may be Heaven’s hand to a weary soul. And in your own day of need, that same grace will return to you through others.

    God’s Architecture of Grace

    Edification increases your capacity to grow. Exhortation raises your expectation to believe. Comfort strengthens your threshold to endure. Together, they form the architecture of grace, the system by which the Spirit constructs, energises, and heals His people. When God builds you, He does not only strengthen your spirit. He heals your mind, renews your emotions, and strengthens your endurance. We are built to last, established to be immovable and in a system that will preserve until you finish your race.

    So when you feel weary, do not withdraw. Do not hide your pain. You may be tired, but you are not alone. The same Spirit that builds, stirs, and comforts is reaching for you still to help you stand until the end.

  • The Mystery of Comfort: Thy Rod & Thy Staff

    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
    Psalms 23:4 NKJV

    This world is unfair and “unfair” is an understatement. The wicked succeed, the righteous suffer, the rich steal from the poor, and evil still persists. Everything looks chaotic. Your head aches whenever you think in that direction. You don’t even know what to do with your life anymore.

    You are not alone. Almost everyone has reached that stage before. You may even be there right now. In fact, you’ve been there all your life and it’s starting to feel permanent. However, realise the importance of hope. There’s a reason why hope made it to the finals (hope, faith and love in 1 Corinthians 13:13). Whenever there’s invisible burdens and anxieties, it’s simply the absence of hope. If there’s no hope that your hard work will pay off, why the need for hard work, etc?


    As aforementioned, the unrealized prescription to this dilemma is COMFORT. The NLT version of the verse says, “When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.” Let God comfort you. Let Him teach you that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared to the glory which shall be revealed in us.

    You really need Comfort so go to God, the source of all comfort as 2 Corinthians 1:3 says.

    And when I was burdened with worries, you comforted me and made me feel secure.

    Psalms 94:19 CEV

    Sometimes, life becomes overwhelming. We begin to worry about life’s decisions. It’s not a lack of information we may even be suffering from. We may know all of God’s promises but we are still worried if we are making the best decisions for our lives. You may think you need more money to solve all your problems but all the problems of another man are as a result of their money. What you may lack is Comfort. I know you are in a very rough storm but there is a man in your boat whose Words the winds and the sea obey.



    David said, “Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for Thou art with me. Thy rod and their staff, they COMFORT me”. Have you cared to find out what David ever meant? The rod is, of course, an instrument of authority and correction. The staff, on the other hand, is an instrument of compassion.

    The staff guides the sheep along a dangerous, unfamiliar, difficult path. The shepherd presses the staff against the side of the sheep and guides it, assuring the animal of its proper path because some sheep will never tread an unfamiliar route. The rod protects you from wild prey. The staff is also used to guide a newborn to its mother when they are separated. Be it correction or guidance, these are spiritual instruments of Comfort.

    So it’s Comfort you needed all along. Your comfort zone is the secret place of the Most High. His promises are sure. Trust His Word and you will be calm in the midst of calamity.

  • Really Perfect or Perfectly Real?

    If I had to choose between being real and being perfect, I’d choose being real.

    The more you try to be perfect, the more you lose yourself. In our unending chase after perfection, we lose our identity and take on the identity of how things ought to be. How things ought to be is not fully in our control, and perfection is not meant to be chased. The more you run towards it, the farther it runs from you. Trying to make everything perfect will only make things imperfect.

    Can you simply be yourself? That’s perfect! It’s effortless, unpretentious and un-exasperating. That’s it. The more you “be” yourself, the more “perfect” you become. Maybe that’s what perfection really stands for; true authenticity. Fully being yourself without any impurities of external influences. Authenticity is the ultimate perfection.

    Isn’t it amazing that for all people who have ever lived, are alive and will ever live, there is only one YOU? There is nobody like you and there’ll never be anyone like you. That’s true authenticity; a kind of perfection that can only be divinely orchestrated.

    Yes, you may have the same nose as your parents, the same handwriting as a stranger or even the same interest as a friend, but you’re unique and there’s none like you. Yes, you have flaws and shortcomings and have zero talent in certain areas, yet no one comes close to being you.

    They can be like you. You can be like them, but your idiosyncrasy is one in 7 billion. None can be compared to you. So why do we try so hard to live like someone else? Let no one pressurize and intimidate you into being someone you’re not. Love who you are just the way you are.

    I love you ❤️

  • Why Does Life Have To Be So Hard?

    Why Does Life Have To Be So Hard?

    None of us wants to be in calm waters all our lives. Where there is no challenge, there is boredom. Passion dies whenever there’s nothing new to try.

    There ought to be something that looks bigger than us. Something that alters our mindset at the end of the journey. Something that challenges us, not just to do better, but BE better; to live to our utmost potential. Something experiential that challenges our perspective to something we’ve never seen before but was always there. Something that is worth living for. Something that is worth dying for.

    There’s gotta be something.

    But why does it have to be this hard? It’s like I’m always at my wit’s end. It’s like my bones are crushing, my teeth gnashing. It’s like the only reason why I have no reason to live is the only reason why I am living.

    Left to me alone, I would give up but I just can’t give up now. There’s something that keeps leading me on, telling me there’s gotta be something to all of this. Giving up hurts more, and failure is better than regret. It will definitely be worth the risk. What I become in the process is far greater than what I have as the product.

    Life is just like giving birth. After so much pain we thought we could never bear, what we are expecting finally becomes a reality, but in a way, we certainly did not expect. That is when we realise that the more the sweat, the greater the “sweet”.

    The joy at the end is far more unbearable than the pain we went through. The pain now just becomes a passed memory, but the joy becomes a present reality.

  • Negative Emotions & Realities: How To Deal With Them

    Is it possible to live in a reality that is out of place with our present circumstance? Are we supposed to allow ourselves to go through the incumbent emotions triggered by our brain due to the nature of present circumstances or we are supposed to “fake” a positive reality till we “make it”?

    The brain releases negative emotions a few moments after a negative experience. Any further negative emotion from then on is self-inflicted. Self-inflicted because we continue to dwell on the negative image our senses fed our minds over and over, thereby releasing the negative emotions over and over.

    Emotions are Symptoms

    Pain is a symptom. Anxiety is a symptom. Depression is a symptom. Whatever we feel are symptoms, insignia. It’s not the actual thing. It’s a reaction to the actual thing. The chemical reactions in our system are the same for everyone but how the reaction manifests differ from one person to another. That’s why people cry when they are sad, hurt, angry or even happy. Same reaction, different circumstances. The body will release different tears in these different circumstances but that’s not the point.

    The point is that we can inadvertently control how our body reacts in any given circumstance. Not by manipulating or tricking our brain. No. Our brain is the centre of our intelligence. It picks our reaction from previous scenarios. Any time we react calmly to a given circumstance, it teaches our brain to be calmer in similar circumstances. If you’ve been in a circumstance where you didn’t know how to react it’s because your brain didn’t have any “default settings” based on its archives. You hadn’t been in such a scenario before, therefore you found it hard to react in a certain way. You don’t know if you’re confused, happy, sad or simply indifferent, and that is okay.

    Emotional Maturity or Avoidance Coping?

    The goal is not to stop yourself from feeling any negative emotions ever. That’s insane. In fact, it has been scientifically proven that it’s necessary to feel both positive and negative emotions occasionally instead of feeling either of them all the time. What we can do is to channel that negative emotion into positive action. That’s the real deal. Elizabeth Scott, MS said it this way, “Managing negative emotions is more about embracing the fact that we are feeling them, determining why we are feeling this way, and allowing ourselves to receive the messages that they are sending us before we release them and move forward”.

    positive and negative emotions

    Stopping yourself from feeling hurt, disappointed, grieved or simply down is not emotional intelligence. It is avoidance coping. It can heavily backfire if we don’t tackle it. It’s like hunger. Hunger is a symptom, a sign that you need to feed your body with food. Avoiding the feeling of hunger and doing nothing about it creates more problems. If you kill the symptom, the underlying problem still persists. True emotional maturity is allowing yourself to feel the feels but not letting it change your mindset and stance into a negative reality.

    I love you

  • Being Alone vs Being Lonely II

    Being Alone vs Being Lonely II

    The continuation of a conversation between Emmanuel Bugyei and I.

    Bugyei: But the thing; everyone is so wrapped up in their existence so they can’t see when someone desperately wants them and their company. Statuses also divide us even further; another person’s looks, friends, walk, talk it all differentiates us.

    Me: Yeah!

    People of class and stature have an overdose of attention. But sometimes they feel very lonely because they feel people care about them because of what they have and what they put up. Loneliness is only cured when we’re accepted for who we are freely.

    Bugyei: They also reject those who see them for who they truly are. So can there really be any cure?

    Me: The need for love is just like that for sleep or food. Abraham Maslow called it a social need and placed in the middle of the pyramid. It actually needs to be satisfied daily

    Bugyei: What about self-love, is that not enough?

    Me: It is only self-love that sustains a person who is alone from being Lonely. However, there is a journey towards it. It’s like kids. They must be nurtured until they can nurture on their own. Unfortunately, not everyone reaches maturity but everyone starts off as a child. At the highest maturity and enlightenment, we don’t need Love because we are Love. We are all one with God, the source of Love.

    Bugyei: And for those who are not Christian?.

    Me: We all go through a similar journey on this one, regardless of our beliefs and labels. The danger, however, is when we slash hard on people so desperate for another’s affection. We are called to love, not to shame people into loving themselves. People eventually learn to love themselves when they’ve received so much love. A child once asked, “can I be a good father if I’ve never been loved?”

    Bugyei: And what was the answer?

    Me: He wasn’t answered. It brought tears in the eyes of the adults around. His father was a drunkard who always abused his mom. He was taken away from him and sent to a foster home, where he asked this question to a preacher preaching about God’s love.

    I hope you enjoyed this insightful conversation. Loneliness is as bad for you as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, as dangerous as obesity, and increases the likelihood of an early death by 26%.

    Let’s kill loneliness before it kills us. I hope this conversation compels you to love fully and freely; to accept people for who they are; to love with a purpose and without condition. Remember, where there is purpose and acceptance, loneliness suffocates.

    I love you ❤️

  • Being Alone vs Being Lonely

    Being Alone vs Being Lonely

    A conversation between Emmanuel Bugyei and I.

    Me: Turns out there’s an epidemic of loneliness in the 21st century, ironically

    Bugyei: But is it common with young adults?

    Me: Yhup! Most people can only identify about 6 emotions so the rest go unnoticed. Truth is, there’s not a single moment that we’re not experiencing one emotion or another.

    That means people sometimes attribute sadness, grief, apathy, hunger, destitution and many others to loneliness when it isn’t always the case or vice versa.

    Bugyei: So what does it mean to be lonely?

    Me: It’s a feeling of void, emptiness, isolation. What sets loneliness apart is that it stems from lost or unformed relationships, basically human interaction.

    We’re emotional beings who need intimacy, love and attention. When we’re underfed on these, we begin to feel lonely.

    Bugyei: So the problem is not with the lonely person (the victim) but the object of his need.

    Me: Exactly! That’s the underlying problem of the problem. Little acts of rejection hits us hard in the chest, and sometimes we don’t notice our own selves trying so hard to belong.

    That’s why it’s good to show little acts of kindness to people. They NEED it, even if they don’t know that they need it. It’s a necessity good.

    Bugyei: Well, a simple hello can help heal the heart.

    Me: Sometimes a sincere word of kindness too does it.

    I love you ❤️

    …to be continued

  • What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

    What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger

    What you are will be tested.

    Circumstances serve a very useful purpose. It comes to test what you are and what you’re made of.

    Proverbs 24:10 says, “If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small”.

    Circumstances come to test your strength not your weakness. Whether you become stronger or weaker depends on what you made of the circumstance.

    Both the gold and the wood got burnt; the wood was drained but the gold was refined. The same boiling water that hardens the egg softens the yam.

    Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better.

    I love you ❤️

  • You Are Not What You Go Through

    You Are Not What You Go Through

    Some circumstances we go through in life are inevitable. No matter your religion, race, color, gender, association or expectations, our story is not unique. Someone may be going through worse, but hei..there’s never a point in our lives where we aren’t going through something of a sort.

    Circumstances don’t obey the law of sowing and reaping.

    You do not have to be worthy of what you go through in life. What you go through does not care about you. It does not care what you care. So when you are going through something that seems unfair to what you are, it is nothing new.

    Circumstances do not define you.

    What you go through is not what you are. It’s always important to be able to differentiate between the two. The fact that you go through ups and downs does not mean even your emotions should follow suite.

    James said “count it all joy when trials come your way” (James 1:2). Why should you be so anxious when you go through a difficult situation? We have the power to live above our situation, not the other way round. What you are should never change or fluctuate because of circumstances.

    Our dog’s ability to be always happy to see us regardless is extremely underrated.

    You actually have the power to define your circumstance. How? By your reactions toward it. 1 Thess 5:18 says “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s Will for you in Christ Jesus.”

    It said, “in all things give thanks”, not “for all things give thanks”. God didn’t say thank Him for that accident. He said have the heart and lifestyle of thanksgiving, even if you have an accident.

  • Keeping Your Shit Together

    Keeping Your Shit Together

    If you live in the past too long, you will be depressed. If you live in the future too long, you will be anxious. The only place you are designed to live is in the present, with your back towards your past and your face looking towards the future. Hope is imagining your future with God in it. Hope is one of the things – hope, faith and love – that will last forever, amazingly. That means God is so awesome that He expects us to look forward to His wondrous glory even in the times of the New Heaven and New Earth. He never ceases to amaze us.

    Sinach’s single epitomizes God’s assurance of everlasting Hope (1 Cor 13:13)

    That’s why I love Sinach’s song “He Did It Again”. There’s a line that goes, “and when I thought that He had done too much, Jesus did it again.” I have realised that the relevance of Hope is sadly missing. Over-ambition is not hope. Hope is confidence in patience. You can have faith and lack hope. In other words, you can totally believe in what God can do and still see hopelessness in your situation. You are not doubting God. You are just imagining a future without God in it. If a “makeup world” you have imagined is causing you distress, why don’t you just simply make up something good?

    It is so easy to wallow in hopelessness. We just lie down and think of all the problems we have in the world just because we are starving and do not have enough money. One small mistake we make, make us think about all the stupid decisions we have ever made and how bad we are when it comes to such situations.

    The more we wallow in hopelessness, the more we feel like the most miserable person in the world.

    When we remember out of nowhere how someone misunderstood us; then we link to when we were misunderstood by another guy sometime back; then another link to a very similar experience 2 years ago; then we link it to 6 more examples at once; then we are like, “I’m the most misunderstood person in the world
    😩😩”.

    All this happens under 5 minutes. It all started from one small not-even-a-big-deal problem. Then one seemingly harmless thought. Before you realise, you’ve had a bad day. This happens way too often. And today, we are leaving this attitude with all its accompanying emotions of hopelessness behind us. If my mind brings up a problem and another problem tries to connect to it, say “no! Not today.” We are learning to tackle one issue at a time, one step at a time.

    If doctors were told how many patients they will attend to in even a day, hopelessness may set in. But they attend to all these patients one at a time wonderfully. If teachers made a big fuss about the number of papers they had to mark, no one would like to be a lecturer of a huge class.

    You can never tackle all your problems at once so don’t think of all of them at once

    Some moments are just not the right time to think about important issues. When you wake up at the wrong side of your bed, don’t think about the reason why you were born. It may seem like a good thing to do but it will filter towards you and leave you with negative emotions and hopelessness. Someone may then ask, when is the right time to think about your problems? When you have properly dealt with your anxiety about the problems.

    Going over and over allll your problems will not help you, it will not heal you, it will not even get anything fixed. It is just a pity-party.

    If you want to talk about your problems, make sure the person listening is a person with hope; someone who will make up for your hopelessness. Don’t also think you always need someone to talk to. Once you get attached to that thinking and no one is ready to listen, it will add insult to your injury. Know when to deal with your personal issues personally. Know when to invite a 3rd party. Either ways, God is willing to talk about it with you. Yes He already knows but He wants to hear you pour your heart out to Him. He is closer to the brokenhearted. Just like David the psalmist, we are looking within ourselves on this day and telling our soul, “Hope in God”. Remain hopeful and praise God, for He is your God and your Help. Amen

    Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, My Help and My God.
    Psalm 42:11

    I love you ❤

  • Falling in Love: How Our Emotions Can Deceive Us

    Falling in Love: How Our Emotions Can Deceive Us

    Emotions are chemical reactions in our body. When you “feel for someone”, that’s an emotional chemical reaction. The problem with emotions is that it changes every 5 seconds. Chemicals are never stable. Love is not emotions. Love is more of a knowing than a feeling. Of course, love can be felt but the feelings of love ought to be the fruit – not the root – of love.

    It takes 8.2 seconds for a guy to fall in love. The average guy has had a crush on dozens of girls. Some he has never met, some he seldom meets, some he often meets, some are twice his age, some are celebrities, some are even married. Some he had a crush on for many years, some just months, some a few days. This is totally natural. So if a guy is obsessed with you, ladies it is nothing new.

    Love is not blind.
    Research has shown that if you have a crush on someone, your brain overlooks their flaws and they tend to appear “perfect”. This seem to look like love but isn’t. Love is intentional not accidental.

    There are two reasons why we have a crush on someone;

    1. Because we seldom meet the person. Thus, the person appears perfect anytime we see them. We crush on them because we desire to have them with us.

    2. Because we always see them. They are usually around so we get intimate. We crush on them because we fear losing them. We have come to understand them and they have become a part of us.

    Reason 1 is responsible for most of the crushes we usually have. We usually have strong unexplainable connections with people we least expect. This is as a result of them being a projection of something we like and/or desire to have in us or with us that we see in them. When we crush on them, we usually want to get to know them more because we really don’t.

    Reason 2 is responsible for shifting the paradigm into a love relationship something that once started as mere friendship. We’d rather spend the rest of our lives with someone we have known and trusted and have come to realise that we’ve fallen in love with than with another who enchants us with their mystery. It is called the mere exposure effect.

    They say, “when you fall in love with two people, choose the second one because if you were in love with the first, you wouldn’t have fallen in love with the second“. That is not necessarily true. You can even love two opposites simultaneously, how much more two people. Once you like someone, there’s a potential of falling in love with them. Sticking to one is not something that comes automatically with love. It is a conscious decision one has to make. Even with that, being in love with someone has never stopped anyone from loving other people. Love is commitment.

    How long a crush lasts is no justification for its authenticity.

    Someone can have a crush on you for years and you may feel the need to reward their persistence. That is pity-love. That will surely not last and may end in a bad fashion. Love is mutual.

    What then do you do when you have a crush on someone you want to have something special and serious with? Cultivate it. Love suffers at high speeds. Love is patient. Once you begin to develop feelings for someone, you are careful not to mess it up. It can easily turn to lust when it is directed in the sexual path rather than being on the empathic path. Get to experientially know the person and understand the different dimensions of the person; intellectually, mentally, spiritually. In this way, the heart, head and hand can fully connect on a whole different level with your crush. Now there’s not only a crush, there’s a bond.

    I love you ❤