Category: Habits

  • Tapping Into The New Year Energy ✨

    Tapping Into The New Year Energy ✨

    It is yet another new year of our lives and aren’t we so grateful? The new year always starts with a pure type of energy of hope and serenity where we think anything is possible, every goal is achievable, every wrong is forgivable and every moment of our past is far out of reach. Over the years, we get caught up in the enthusiasm and make resolutions that are basically baseless solutions. When this occurs over a considerable number of years, we tend to walk into the new year with a kind of indifference that scoffs at the whole idea of making resolutions.
    The fact that you failed in your business approach doesn’t mean the whole business thingy is useless. The fact that you suck at fishing doesn’t mean those who fish are wasting their time. The fact that you made resolutions in the past that changed nothing doesn’t mean resolutions change nothing. You simply need to change your approach rather than decimate the whole idea.

    The questions we need to ask ourselves are,

    • how are we going to be consistent?
    • how are we going to keep that same energy till the end of the year?
    • how are we going to actually do what we know we should do?

    1. Clear Objectives

    More often than not, we focus on the struggle rather than the objective. If you want to go the gym, what is your objective? The vaguer your objectives, the more likely you are to fall along the line. When you ask people what they want to do this year, they say basically the same things from the past 4 or more years; get closer to God, pray more, exercise more, eat well, save more money, get organized, live life to the fullest etc. These are extremely vague. After you have identified these vague objectives, clarify them the more by asking two simple questions; why? and how?

    Save more money.

    Why? I want to purchase a new LG phone. (amount = 750-1000 Ghana cedis)

    How? Save 100 cedis for 10 months.

               Save 25 cedis each week.

               Save 4 cedis a day

    Once the objective is clear and explicit, accountability is possible. Once you don’t know what the end result must look like, you wouldn’t be able to track your progress properly. If you don’t know where your destination is, you’d never know how far you are from there.

    2. Accountability

    In order to be consistent, we need to be disciplined. In order to be disciplined, we need to be accountable. Of course, we all know that it takes discipline, but we struggle with discipline all year long because of, perhaps, this one missing ingredient; accountability. Want to save more money? Then you should be able to review how much you spent every month. Once you keep a gradual track of your progress, you find new momentum to continue. If you first of all know how much you spend, then you can choose to either compromise your expenses or earn more. Once you have a goal, you need to have a plan.

    See! Everybody wants to save money, even the richest man in the world. There are several ways of saving money. Find out which one best fits your situation and break it down to an everyday lifestyle. Once you know you have to save 4 cedis today, you can at least make it a point to. There are times when you’d fail, no doubt. But at least, you’re well aware of it. There’s nothing worse than failing and not being aware because there’s no accountability. There is a need to review your life on the daily. Every day is a new day to be better than yesterday. But remember that it’s only possible with accountability. It is highly recommended that you have a friend or partner who holds you accountable for your actions.

    3. Time Allocation

    One factor that is most essential determines whether something is achievable or not is TIME. Everything is possible, but some things become impossible when time is not on our side. In other words, what makes the impossible possible is time. Time is the x factor. Everything is possible with time. Therefore, your time allocation will determine whether your set goal is achievable or not.

    Once you get the time factor wrong, your set goals become unrealistic. On the other hand, where there is no time allocation – what you’d do every day, every 2 weeks, every month etc – the goal becomes “immortal” and is never achieved. Even with goals concerning behaviours which must last a lifetime, time allocation is very essential;

    Want to spend more time with your spouse?

    Why? To have a more intimate relationship and communicate better as a couple.

    How? Go on a trip to resorts in the locality.

    Time allocation: Every last weekend of the month.

    Progress takes a long time to materialise suddenly. Realise that you’d need more time than you think you would. Even in matters of faith. At the end of the day, it wouldn’t be able about how long it took, it would be about how long it lasts. Take your time and establish something concrete that will stand the test of time rather than riding on the illusion of progress in taking less time and seeing everything fall into shambles later. Choose deeper roots first; taller trees will follow.


    I love you ❤

  • Living a Porn-free Life

    Living a Porn-free Life

    There is a thick line between what we need and what we can’t live without. Chemically, that has to do with the levels of dopamine. Drugs like sugar, coffee and spices produces dopamine which makes us feel good. But they don’t produce dopamine as such a high level that we can’t do without it. Yet we go back to it all the time. Just like soft porn.

    Watching porn, in my view, is a habit that can be altered if one has the needed info.

    Some can’t prepare food without spices. Others can’t eat food without drinking water afterwards. Those are habits that could be changed with time and preference.

    Research

    When I researched on porn and saw the stats, I realised it’s becoming epidemic. One research was to see what porn does to our brain. And when they searched for an American male teenager who had never watched internet porn before for studies, they found none. That was a shock to me. So I’ve provided a list of important info to help y’all willing to break this unhealthy habit.

    One Huge Misconception

    Watching porn does not make you sexually healthy. Watching porn will not stop when you marry or start having sex. It doesn’t even give you the right info about sex. Don’t believe those filthy lies. That is not how to feed your needs. Your sexual attraction needs are not a justification to indulge in porn. Pornography is an instant gratification activity. It does not satisfy you, it sucks from you.

    Breaking the porn habit

    1. First of all, don’t make it a priority to stop watching pornography. This may sound wrong but what is actually wrong is that the focus is still on porn. It is like me saying, “don’t imagine a white bear.” You have already subconsciously imagined it. It is called the white bear effect. I’m not saying don’t face the problem head-on. All I’m saying is, fighting a problem that has become a part of you fights back harder. It rather needs to be starved. Dr. K V Anand said it better;

    2. Your belief in porn addiction makes things worse. The label of “porn addict” causes depression but porn watching doesn’t.

    People who believe themselves to be porn addicts need help with understanding what their use of porn means, and why they may have problems around their sexuality. They deserve help unpacking the conflicts between their sexual desires, and the moral/religious society around them. They also need help to understand how and why porn use is not an addiction, and how viewing themselves as a porn addict may affect their self-image and emotional health. These men (and some women) deserve help in understanding their sexuality and their porn use. They don’t need the shame and stigma that comes along with the “addiction” label.

    3. One major reason why people who don’t want to watch porn, go back and even watch it in excess is boredom. Whenever you are bored, you do what subconsciously makes you feel good instantly. This is because boredom is unhealthy and health is multi-dimensional. Our body needs fun. Our soul needs adventure. Our spirit needs intimacy. Stop blaming your old man which is dead or even the devil. Change the cycle.

    4. Life functions because it is in an ecosystem. Society thrives on culture. Our body has a rhythm. Even the weather has a pattern. Pornography is not the problem. It is the fruit of the problem. Whether someone is addicted to drugs or porn or any form of perversion, it is because they didn’t understand their inner needs and misunderstood their emotions.

    Change the pattern

    Set in motion another chain, another culture, another ecosystem. Don’t focus on stopping. Don’t count the days you didn’t watch it. Don’t entertain those thoughts in your head to watch a little bit. Rewire your brain. Renew your mind. Do what you have always loved to do as a child. Don’t be afraid to be bored. Don’t entertain boredom either.

    Everything all around us is calling for our attention, but when you change what you are aware of, you change your reality. People who see sin everywhere make sin omnipresent in their minds. People who see love everywhere see the omnipresence of God. Develop healthy habits that make you spiritually, mentally and physically healthy.

    Habits are not difficult to develop if we look at it from this perspective; we always develop new habits when we renew the old ones. Habits are set in motion with our minds not our wills. Don’t fight your habits, consciously change them. Whatever you force yourself to do cannot really become a habit until we set it in motion with our minds. Easier said than done but hey..you gotta start from somewhere. It is time to live at your utmost potential and be your best self. Greatness is within us and ahead of us. You can start off with a good read by Derek Doepker

    Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
    II Timothy 2:22 NKJV

    I love you ❤