Awkward Silence vs Comfortable Silence

It’s amazing how silence makes people feel so uncomfortable. They will make all sorts of funny noises or talk about the weirdest things just to avoid it.

Ever had a meaningful conversation and felt so fulfilled? That’s because conversations are associated with feelings of belonging, self-esteem and social validation. There are random pauses in every conversation that usually leads to a follow-up conversation on another subject. However, these random pauses can lead to awkward silence.

The longer the pause, the more anxious we feel. In fact, studies relate awkward silence to feelings of rejection and negative emotions. It takes 4 seconds for an awkward silence to happen. 4 seconds is all it takes to feel rejected, anxious and less assured. But this doesn’t have to be your story.

We’ve all experienced awkward silence in a conversation before, haven’t we? We can even anticipate it sometimes. There’s that sudden silence in the conversation and one feels pressured to speak but is unsure of what to say next. Sometimes we even repeat our last statement several times just to avoid that 4-second silence.

There is a difference between being silent and being quiet. Silence is not saying anything when you have to say something. Quietness is only saying something when you have something to say.
Daniel Good

The silent treatment can damage the capacity to communicate and diminish feelings of intimacy. The quietness, on the other hand, is a necessary natural and unintentional occurrence that breaks the barrier of trying hard to be something you are not just to feel comfortable around someone else.

Learning to be comfortable in silence is an art. Believe it or not, there’s more communication and connection in silence than in conversation. Sometimes conversation even ruins the moment. The quieter you become, the more you can feel the embrace.

You can enjoy each other’s company without saying a word; those moments when we aren’t pressured to fill the void with unnecessary chatter are when we bond the most. It’s a sign that you’re very comfortable around the person. In a relationship, remember to talk because you want to, not because you have to.