The first time someone really close to me died was in 2005. I had lost my grandad. I wasn’t particularly sad. I was alarmed. “So I won’t see him physically again?, So that’s it? He’s gone? Is that all?”. 19th August, 2005. My grandad was gone. After the final funeral rites and all, life went on as if my grandpa never existed. All his stuff was quickly sent out the house. His favorite radio was no longer valuable to any of us. All the things he treasured meant little to us. Even his bed was taken away.
The next set of questions came running through my mind. I did realize that my Dad, Mom, siblings and friends were not going to here forever. Everyone is the last person in their lifetime to die. Each death causes so much pain, so much disdain, so much havoc to so many families no matter how peaceful the death was. They rest in peace and leave the rest in pieces. Soon we too will be gone. Will our life be meaningful to those we leave behind?
What really is the essence of life? Have you ever asked yourself that? What is the essence of life? Is this all there is to life? The sad part about asking this question is that it only comes to mind when we are down, aggravated, tired, weary, dry, suffering, contemplating and reminiscing.
Life is simple yet very complicated. Life is short yet it lasts for eternity. Life is hard though we smile easily. Life is tough yet it is so tender. Life is dear and priceless yet it demands a lot of sacrifices. Life is unfair yet it serves karma on a hot plate. Life is unpredictable yet we catch glimpse of the future.
There is no life without death and there’s no death without a life. What makes me alive? Aside the heartbeat and breath, what makes our heart beat faster and takes our breath away? What do we give our life to? What kills us within? What do we do with our lives? What do we live for? What will we die for?
Is living worth dying for? Is dying worth living for? How long till our bones are weak and our strength is gone? How long till I die at the hands of that unforeseen circumstance? How much time do I have left? How long till I’m long gone? How long is too long?
Life is but a breath. Life is breath. What gives me oxygen? What deoxygenates me? What drains me? What have I drained myself into? What have I given myself to? What am I doing? What am I? Am I my own life? Or I’m living my own life? Or my life is not my own?
What really is the essence of life?