Living from Within
Approval is a small word but carries substantial weight. To be more specific, a parent’s approval carries substantial weight in their child’s life. Are you a parent who constantly criticises or disapproves of your child’s choices or performance? Do you constantly dismiss your child’s opinion? If you have answered yes to any of the questions….click on the link below to read more 👇
How To Show Approval To Your Child – Why Is It Important?
This is not the most fatherless generation in history. Many generations lost millions of men on the battlefield. Fathers went to war and never returned. Some who returned were better off dead; fatally wounded and had a lot of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder to deal with. Some were deaf from the recurring sound of bombs. Others were too weak to recover from taking too many bullets. There have been many fatherless generations.
This generation is the most fatherless generation that didn’t lose its fathers to war. In the USA alone, 19.7 million children – which is about 1 of out every 4 children – live without a father in their home. About one-third of Black Americans grow up without a Dad in their home. It’s a fact even from the experiential level, that there is a “father factor” in nearly all social vices.
With the rise in extreme feminism, many women are gradually leaning toward having no man in their lives. Women are also complaining about double parenting, where there is a father figure in the house but he’s virtually useless and the woman takes double responsibility for running the home. The truth of the matter is, women have an inner craving in them for a male figure in their lives. Someone to protect them, at the very least; someone to direct them; someone to lead them. A girl’s bond with her father greatly affects her relationships with other men.
Though some men may have failed women in a lot of ways, women must realize it’s only a ripple effect from men not having a father figure in their lives. Lecrae Moore said it better in his song, Just Like You;
I got this emptiness inside that got me fighting for approval because I missed out on my daddy saying, “way to go”,
Ain’t get that verbal affirmation or know how to treat a woman, know how to fix an engine,
To keep the car running
So now I’m looking at the media and following what they feed me,
Lecrae Moore – Just Like You
Our relationship with our earthly father also affects our relationship with our Heavenly Father. In 2001, Jennifer Hamer did research that showed that many African-American youths did not know how to approach their father when in his presence. Thus, if your father is more like a boss, you’re more likely to view God as a boss. Likewise, your relationship with God will likely be a very personal one if he’s a close friend.
Even if there’s further research to prove that single parenting is equally as good as having two parents around, single parenting is not something to wish for. Single mothers are one of the poorest populations, many of them vulnerable to homelessness. In the United States, nearly half (45%) of single mothers and their children live below the poverty line. It’s not as easy as rich single mothers may make it look. The struggles that single parents face are greater than those in two-parent households.
Moreover, it’s a generational curse. Men with absent fathers are more likely to become absent fathers themselves. Women with absent fathers are more likely to have children with absent fathers. Further research has shown that growing up without a father can permanently affect your brain. With society on the brink of collapse, the need for a father – not a perfect one, but one who will be there – is more important now than ever. Society will only flourish if matriarchy takes its place by patriarchy, not when the former overthrows the latter. Either of them will fail without the other.
Also, since society is bent on training women to be mothers, society must also take up the responsibility of training men into fathers.
If you’ve never been a parent before, you think it’s easy to be a parent. Kids are the most expensive entities in the world. The most troublesome, stubbornest little cute pieces of burdens, actually. Yet, parenting is the most rewarding work in the world. No salary, no monetary gain (in fact, the most costly financial decision anyone could make), no guarantee and yet it is what makes all the difference in the world. Here are 7 things about parenthood you haven’t really noticed, even as a parent.
There’s nothing in this world that’s going to bring you more joy than bringing someone into this world and watching them grow to become great. This is more than being the one who gave out the money to a brother who won the lottery or the one who supported a friend till they made it to the top. This is pouring out your life and soul and resources into another life. Parenting is the ultimate sacrifice, a different feel of love, and until you’re a parent it will never make sense.
If you’re going to be a parent, it’s going to take the most and best part of your life. It will take not less than half of your entire life on average. Therefore, if you fail as a parent, you should know that it’s going to be the biggest regret of your life. This is not to scare you but to give you a certain kind of perspective.
If you’ve been picturing a “happy ever after” with the love of your life, well, don’t forget the kids. In fact, if anyone asked for my opinion concerning who to marry, I’d say choose someone who’d help you raise a happy home. It will be about the two of you for a few years. The rest of the years is mainly about the kids. Many rich successful people at the end of the road usually say that they wished they had spent more time with their family.
Many say to themselves, “I’m awesome. I came out just fine. I’m going to raise my kids just like how I was raised. Except that I’m not gonna do these 5 mistakes my parents did and then my kids are gonna come out much better than I did”. No, it doesn’t work like that. It’s like saying you’ve been watching videos on heart surgery and you were smart enough to notice about 5 mistakes the surgeon did. Therefore, you can perform heart surgery. It just doesn’t work that way. In fact, parenting is much more complex than heart surgery. There is no fixed way of going about things. That’s the nature of relationships.
Though you’ve been around and have been helping your parents in their parenting, you probably didn’t notice how they really make it work. You may think you can dance when you’re watching a dancing tutorial till it’s actually time to dance. That’s what I want you to understand. It only looks easy because they did over and over, but doing it over and over is the hard part. A lot of trial and error has gone into it. Parenting ain’t easy. If you think life is hard, try being responsible for another life.
So appreciate your parents now that they are alive and be proud of them. Don’t hold that “entitlement attitude”; you’re-my-parent-so-you’re-supposed-to, I-didn’t-ask-you-to-give-birth-to-me bullshit. Parenting is not like running a business or having administrative duties, it’s a lot more complex than that so don’t make it too hard for them. They are doing their very best. Don’t wait till it’s your turn to be a parent to really realize this. Of course, they are not always right. So are you. Not always being right is completely normal. No need to make a big deal out of it and use it against them.
As human beings, we usually replicate what we have been exposed to. Your parents are raising you in many ways like how their parents raised them. Funny enough, you are going to raise your kids surprisingly in many little ways like how you were raised. We don’t know any better. I’m not talking about what we know. I’m talking about what we’ve experienced. So if you want to raise your kids in a much more excellent way, be intentional about it and start now.
It’s a good person that becomes a good parent. It starts by being a good child. So I edge you to break those generational curses and pass on the generational blessings. When you know better, you do better.
I love you ❤️
Ever met or been that person who is always like, “As for me, I don’t care. I don’t feel anything.” And we admired such people because they looked to us like strength. The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart. The Presence of God is known and it is also felt. Knowing God in our minds is boring and repressive. Having mental knowledge of God without ever experiencing Him is basically a religion. Joy, Peace, Love, Gratitude, Responsibility, Humility etc are expressions. Whatever we express is emotionally relevant. This means that anytime we try to act all cool and don’t really care who even died in our family, it’s because we have squirmed into ourselves.
I have been a victim of “I don’t care”. Whenever I live constantly like that, I feel like I am a wall upon which all emotions around me are being thrown. I don’t feel like a person. I feel like an object in that situation. So I become invisible by becoming silent and I hide in plain sight. I don’t let people in. I am in a state of avoidance; being physically not present. So I go away so there’s nothing to relate to anymore. I hold strong boundaries or walls, keeping my feelings contained or even suppressed. And as long as I took this path of emotionlessness, I barely experienced God for myself. I interpret everything on a logical level. Even prophetic and worship meetings were full of my mind telling me how pretentious what was happening was.
There are so many cover-up emotions today. This is where we can’t tolerate one emotion so we cover it up by feeling something else, usually something more acceptable. We can’t feel rage, so we feel frustration. I can’t tolerate intense betrayal, so I feel hurt instead. We can’t allow ourselves to feel unquenchable grief, so we feel sadness instead. I can’t even express or identify what we are feeling, so I stay silent. Because we do not know how to define what we are feeling or expressing, we would defend, hide, avoid, or escape it. But underneath these “defences” are often feelings of vulnerability. We too often identify a vulnerability with weakness, shame or being too emotional, in an attempt to cover a raw aspect of ourselves.
No one was born a stoic. All creations are emotional creatures, birds and dogs alike. Because emotions do not come from our bodies though they do have a direct link with them; emotions are what makes us persons connected to the orchestrations of the universe as a whole.
The truth is, once you close your heart to hurt, you also close yourself to love. Also, closing your heart will never stop you from feeling the negative emotions that come with life. It will rather stop you from fully expressing and benefitting from good emotions. There is hope in the shadows, there is peace in the storm, there is patience in the pain, and there is joy in the sorrow. Open up your heart. The Holy Spirit wants you to enjoy His fruits regardless of the circumstances.
If you know for yourself that you’re in this “I don’t care anymore” state or you’re heading towards that in any important area of your life, I want you to put your hand on your heart and pray this prayer;
Heart, you have permission to be wide open towards the LORD, to be fully present, to fully feel, to be fully affected. Heart, you have permission to know that He is emotional about you. You have permission to know that you don’t need to shut down. You don’t need to lock up. Lord, any place where I have stopped feeling because of pain, because of vows that I’ve made, I give you permission to open my heart back to you. I want to have a heart that is fully after yours. In Jesus’ Name, I pray, Amen.
I love you ♥
If you’ve lived long enough, you’d realize you could be getting the same messages along a certain line for a period of time. Some even say it’s the universe sending them that message over and over. You’d hear a particular word echo or even a certain conclusion is drawn in different conservations with different people. You could resonate with discipline, balance, mindset, personality, or working smart.
Some words or ideas may resonate with us for days, weeks, months or years, even a lifetime. We may be inclined towards a certain philosophy, school of thought, system, concept, mindset or attitude. Not just us, a generation, a city, a building, an architecture, culture, even animals may be related to a certain form of resonance. It’s an endless list.
There’s a difference between what it is and how we see it. How we see things is based on our lens. If you’ve noticed, no matter what the conversation is about, people tune it to what they resonate with. People who resonate with discipline think everything is about discipline. People who incline to love think it will come down to love. Those who resonate with balance see the balance in everything.
Others who resonate with mindset think the mindset is everything. Those who also resonate with wisdom believe it all goes back to wisdom. If you hang around people who resonate with hard work, you’d soon believe in it and work with it. That’s why it’s necessary to find what works for you because everything works but it just may not be for you.
INFLUENCE
For some people, what they resonate with is in their everyday vocabulary. Stick around for a while and you’d hear them use it often. For others, it’s simply embedded in their attitude. Walk with them for a while and you’d be influenced. We all individually have the potential to be anything. What we don’t have the potential to be is everything at the same time.
Thus, different people bring out different sides of us. Ever worked with a consistent person before? You’ll always be on your toes. How about one who always gives new excuses? You’d relax. If one group thinks you’re funny, your funny side comes out when you’re around them. This is why the people you surround yourself with matters.
NATURE & NURTURE
Truth is, we all don’t resonate with just one thing. One person can resonate with different seemingly contradictory ideologies. Nonetheless, we have something we’ll completely resonate with for a lifetime. This is usually the virtues that go with our personality. Introverts obviously resonate with solitude, the choleric believes in being straightforward, and so on. It’s nature.
However, there are others we pick up along the way that we come to resonate with it so much that no matter our environment, it still wouldn’t rob off. It’s nurture that becomes nature. This is usually the values that come with our upbringing.
PERSPECTIVE
There are good and bad sides to anything we resonate with. You call it laziness but it may be smartness. Call it consistent but it may be conservative. You call it hectic but it may be hard work. You call it slow but it may be meticulous. Call it patience but it may be indecisiveness. It all depends on the situation.
A particular generation may hype hard work, another will hype laziness, especially this generation. It says lazy people find easy ways of doing things. So make sure what you resonate with is consistent with the world’s current.
Since everything works as long as you keep resonating with it, it’s better that you simply hype what you resonate without defaming any other. For instance, being practical doesn’t mean being theoretical is wrong. Practicality only makes us experts in specific things but theory makes us understand the principles that can applied in several ingenious ways.
Leonardo Da Vinci once said, “He who loves practice without theory is like the sailor who boards ship without a rudder and compass and never knows where he may cast”.
So find what you resonate with, be intentional about it, and let it be synonymous to your name in your environment. Morgina Arku said it better; you can resonate with a lot of things but muster a few.
I love you ❤️
It’s a new year but this time, I have no point to prove.
I don’t need to change who I am to please you.
Why do I want a new me when I always knew…
…that this version of me will always improve.
You are under no obligation to be who you were, yes!
But this time, I’m not going to beat myself up and stress
trying to make Resolutions, only to regret
trying to be a good person only to impress
So instead of trying, I will simply be
And rather become the best version of me
In what I say, do, hear and see
Instead of living one year at a time
I choose to live one day at a time
Calm myself in the storm because everything will be fine
and stay motivated by choosing to be kind
After all, what matters the most in life?
Isn’t it self-improving, having one another and overcoming strife?
So new year, old me because the old me is the real me
…and the “new year, new me” is what I pretend to be
We have heard the Christmas story over and over. This time round, I read between the lines to cherry-pick for you applicable everyday wisdom. Hope you enjoy it!
When King Herod heard about this, he was worried, and so was everyone else in Jerusalem.
Matthew 2:3 CEV
Instead of seeing a blessing of a brethen, we rather see an uncalled-for competition. This is why Cain killed Abel. This is why Esau hated Jacob. See, when you see that God has blessed your neighbour today, it shouldn’t call for jealousy. It’s a sign that your open door season is coming soon. It’s a time to celebrate the victory with your neighbour because you even indirectly benefit from that blessing.
Matthew 2:11 CEV
When the men went into the house and saw the child with Mary, his mother, they knelt down and worshiped him. They took out their gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh and gave them to him.
The full benefit of a blessing goes to people who receive it with complete thanksgiving. These wise men presented their best gifts. As was fitting, you can’t go into the presence of a King without giving gifts. Not that the King requires it but you in your own wisdom know that it is befitting for a King. I’ve revealed to you why we are trained to thank God first when we enter His presence. Psalm 100:4 says so.
Coming from afar, the Christmas looks magical. Yet those close see animal poop, an untidy place and smell something pungent. See, when you’re too close you are more likely to see mistakes. Take a step back and appreciate the people in your life. Take a step back and even appreciate the person you have become.
But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.
Luke 2:19 NIV
It takes some time for a thought in your conscious mind to sink into your subconscious mind. It would need to be repeated frequently, involve as many senses as possible and be re-imagined in several dimensions. In other words, the only things stored in your heart are things you treasure. Once you treasure something, you pay too much attention to it. So when God examines our hearts, He clearly sees what we treasure.
Selah is written across the Psalms. It means to meditate, to ponder, to treasure in your heart. It is the process between head knowledge and the kind of knowledge that changes your life forever. Have you met someone so full of God’s Word? It is because they make time to Selah. The Word of God cannot simply come to life to you if you spend some few minutes every once in a while in the Word. You will need to Selah before the Word can resonate with you.
The angel said, “Get up and take the child and his mother back to Israel. The people who wanted to kill him are now dead.”
Matthew 2:20 CEV
By now, you know there are certain things God will never do for you. Sometimes instead of God preventing the calamity, He will rather prompt you to pray to Him for Him to prevent the calamity. God is God, and He will always do what man cannot do. So don’t expect Him to do what man can do. If He does what men do, men will always take the credit. So He does the impossible because only He can. He begins where man’s ability end.
All who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished,
Luke 2:18 NLT
People will see you differently once they get to hear your story. Their senses widen, their respect enlarges and their idea of you broadens. A story leaves a longlasting impression than anything we’ll ever hear or listen to. Your “work in progress” story can change someone’s life forever.
After all, what is Christmas? It’s a story of the birth of a Saviour. It’s a story of the Son of God becoming the Son of Man so that the sons of mens can become sons of God. It is the story of Emmanuel, God living among mere mortals with human feelings, emotions, thoughts and instincts.
Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.
Ephesians 5:25 GNB
Once upon a time, there lived three persons. They were one in Love, Truth and Light yet Holy (Hebrew rendition: set apart, unique) in their distinct ways. They were one in motives and in ways, in thought and in function.
One day, Abba (Greek rendition: Father) decided to create a bride for His Son. So he created Adam (Hebrew rendition: man). But He said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will for Him a suitable helper.” Trinity wanted man to understand love in their own unique way too so that their mystical union with Christ as their Bridegroom would not be so new a concept to them. Yet still, this union blows our minds of every imagination.
Jesus is the only Human Being in the Trinity. He was born a man, lived as a man, died as a man and ascended as a man. The tomb is still empty. Now He is seated on the Right-Hand Side of God as a man. He is the Son of God and the Son of Man. The GodMan. He is the only way we as humans are intertwined with the Divine.
It is by looking unto Him that we understand how God can dwell in man and man in God. He is the Temple of God and so are we. He is the Righteousness of God and so are we. He is the visible image of God (Col 1:15) and so we are. “As He is, so are we in this world”.
“Just as a man left his father and mother to be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Gen 2:24), Jesus did same (Phil 2:6-7) and came to dwell among us (John 1:14); “and His Name shall be called Emmanuel. The GodMan has set up His dwelling place among men. The GodMan came to establish His Kingdom, not around us but within us.
For
No one will say, ‘Look, here it is!’ or, ‘There it is!’; because the Kingdom of God is within you.”
Luke 17:21 GNB
And now, Christ is married to us all. And He lavishes His Love on us. Not like a Master loving a servant, but as a Husband loving a Wife. We are God’s Partner, intertwined with Him from the beginning of time.
He loves you ❤
Bugyei: But the thing; everyone is so wrapped up in their existence so they can’t see when someone desperately wants them and their company. Statuses also divide us even further; another person’s looks, friends, walk, talk it all differentiates us.
Me: Yeah!
People of class and stature have an overdose of attention. But sometimes they feel very lonely because they feel people care about them because of what they have and what they put up. Loneliness is only cured when we’re accepted for who we are freely.
Bugyei: They also reject those who see them for who they truly are. So can there really be any cure?
Me: The need for love is just like that for sleep or food. Abraham Maslow called it a social need and placed in the middle of the pyramid. It actually needs to be satisfied daily
Bugyei: What about self-love, is that not enough?
Me: It is only self-love that sustains a person who is alone from being Lonely. However, there is a journey towards it. It’s like kids. They must be nurtured until they can nurture on their own. Unfortunately, not everyone reaches maturity but everyone starts off as a child. At the highest maturity and enlightenment, we don’t need Love because we are Love. We are all one with God, the source of Love.
Bugyei: And for those who are not Christian?.
Me: We all go through a similar journey on this one, regardless of our beliefs and labels. The danger, however, is when we slash hard on people so desperate for another’s affection. We are called to love, not to shame people into loving themselves. People eventually learn to love themselves when they’ve received so much love. A child once asked, “can I be a good father if I’ve never been loved?”
Bugyei: And what was the answer?
Me: He wasn’t answered. It brought tears in the eyes of the adults around. His father was a drunkard who always abused his mom. He was taken away from him and sent to a foster home, where he asked this question to a preacher preaching about God’s love.
I hope you enjoyed this insightful conversation. Loneliness is as bad for you as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, as dangerous as obesity, and increases the likelihood of an early death by 26%.
Let’s kill loneliness before it kills us. I hope this conversation compels you to love fully and freely; to accept people for who they are; to love with a purpose and without condition. Remember, where there is purpose and acceptance, loneliness suffocates.
I love you ❤️
Me: Turns out there’s an epidemic of loneliness in the 21st century, ironically
Bugyei: But is it common with young adults?
Me: Yhup! Most people can only identify about 6 emotions so the rest go unnoticed. Truth is, there’s not a single moment that we’re not experiencing one emotion or another.
That means people sometimes attribute sadness, grief, apathy, hunger, destitution and many others to loneliness when it isn’t always the case or vice versa.
Bugyei: So what does it mean to be lonely?
Me: It’s a feeling of void, emptiness, isolation. What sets loneliness apart is that it stems from lost or unformed relationships, basically human interaction.
We’re emotional beings who need intimacy, love and attention. When we’re underfed on these, we begin to feel lonely.
Bugyei: So the problem is not with the lonely person (the victim) but the object of his need.
Me: Exactly! That’s the underlying problem of the problem. Little acts of rejection hits us hard in the chest, and sometimes we don’t notice our own selves trying so hard to belong.
That’s why it’s good to show little acts of kindness to people. They NEED it, even if they don’t know that they need it. It’s a necessity good.
Bugyei: Well, a simple hello can help heal the heart.
Me: Sometimes a sincere word of kindness too does it.
I love you ❤️
…to be continued
We all make mistakes. The beauty of being human is in our flaws and frailty revealing the handiwork and masterpiece of our Creator. It is better to make mistakes than to fake perfection. Faking perfection means living for their acceptance. If we live for their acceptance, we’ll die from their rejection. So just be you, and allow others to be their higher self by living your higher self.
Defining how others should cope with you should be a boundary of authenticity rather than a limitation of freedom. Don’t live to please anyone. On the other hand, don’t live to intentionally displease someone. Both are in different directions but still emanates an inauthentic lifestyle lived in reaction to someone else.
Sometimes people try to expose what’s wrong with you, because they can’t appreciate what’s right about you.
Truth is, we can never like everything about someone. There will always be something that someone does or how the person lives life that we would dislike. If we can’t think of anything of that sort concerning someone in particular, then it means we have overlooked their flaws and not that they have no flaws.
Funny enough, we don’t even like everything about our ownselves. We can sometimes meet someone and not like how they live their life, and we don’t even know them lmao. Bottom line: you cannot correct every opinion people have about you. Free yourself from the need to do so. Everyone has the right to think whatever they want about anything. Don’t waste your energy.
If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should live their lives, but none about his or her own.
We can’t be going round telling everyone about the things they do that we don’t like and what we don’t like about them. On the other hand, we shouldn’t be Mr Nice or Mrs Nice who is always okay with everything and allows everyone to tread over them. It’s a world of balance, not of perfection. Confront and correct the things something can be done about and accept the things you can’t change.
There is a difference between a personality and an attitude. Laziness is not a personality trait; it’s an attitude. Being lazy cannot therefore be someone’s personality, and most importantly, something can be done about it.
Attitude > Behaviour (based on personality traits) > Character
If we can’t accept someone’s personality trait and we want them to change to fit into our own biased definition of how to live life, then we are stabbing our ownselves in the back. Usually, that means we are projecting ourselves on the person and comparing their flaws to our strengths. Surely, there are some others who hate us for being ourselves but who cares? At the end of the day, it is the opinions of the people who matter the most to us that will matter the most to us.
This is the everlasting truth: if we are truly living our higher, true and authentic self, we would allow others to be themselves also. If we are always wanting others to change and fit into our own little boxes, it’s a sign that we are living inside the box ourselves. How we see others says more about us than about others. Any free man would wish everyone was free so they could experience the kind of freedom he is experiencing. If a free man wishes that everyone else should be made captive and he only free, it’s a sign that his mind is captive.
Be who you are and say how you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
Know who you are; your preferences, your style, your interests, your innate abilities; free from the impurities of this world, free from other people’s assumptions, free from your own misconceptions, free from the deep lies you choose to believe about yourself. For anyone who truly knows himself/herself is not perturbed with what others may misconceive about him/her.
So now the most ideal question is, who am I? Follow this link to understand more about who you are.
I love you ❤
It has been said that in this life, it’s either you are going through a hard time, coming out of hard times or about to go through hard times. It’s an abysmal way of looking at life. We usually act as if we are either in good times or bad times when we are usually simultaneously in both. It may be going well financially but your marital life will be struggling. Home may be going well but your business may be struggling. It may be a wedding season but people are still dying and will need to be buried. What is my point? The phases of life are not one-dimensional. We all go through several phases at a time in different areas of the same life we are living. As such, I have written 3 things you need to remember no matter the phase you find yourself in;
No one is born financially independent, for instance. Then you reach a phase in your life where you can cater for yourself with little support. However, you will find children that are 100% dependent on their parents who “can’t wait to get rich”. You don’t even know what it means to be financially independent yet. Enjoy being taken care of while it lasts, for God’s sake.
Single women who can’t wait to marry? My dear, you are going to wish you were single. You better enjoy singlehood while it lasts. I don’t know but there is this hasty feeling of always wishing for a season we ought to be patiently waiting for. Whatever privilege you see that comes with a phase, also comes with a responsibility. If you can’t carry the responsibility yet, don’t wish for the privilege. But this is what we usually do; we compare the responsibilities of the current phase to the privileges of the next phases, forgetting that there are privileges in this current phase that will not exist in the next phase and responsibilities in the next phases that do not exist now. You can’t wait to have children of your own? Haha. You wait and see.
In the delusion of social compatibility today, some go in for partners they think they are compatible with. However, you are making a decision that is meant to last the rest of your life based on a particular phase that can be gone. No wonder we hear people falling out of love as if love is a castle in the air. Their love was based on a particular phase of the person’s beauty or financial stance. To make great decisions, be visionary. See beyond the current phase. The Pinocchio you see today will turn out to be Prince Charming. You can only see that when you are a visionary. Don’t judge him based on his current phase. You are rubbishing an investment opportunity today because you are being myopic. You need to see the future.
As a young person, you see your entire future ahead of you. So many possibilities and opportunities. As you grow older to your 40s, you don’t know whether the decisions you made were the very best. Is your future behind you or still ahead? Because the possibilities begin to narrow down. This is the stage where a lot of people end up in a mid-life crisis. Why? Their imagination never really reached that far. As a youth, all they saw was the mountaintop. They never really imagined their lives beyond the other side of the mountain. If they had, it would have influenced some of the decisions they made along the way. You dated Kofi because he has a great smile but you obviously wouldn’t imagine being married to him in your 60s when the kids are all grown and are no longer home. You didn’t. It’s creepy, even.
Yet I tell you this for a fact; great people are intentional about their decisions because they see beyond the fog of delusion into the distant future of reality before reality hits. That is a true vision.
If you choose a career to please your father, your father will be gone but you will still have to bear the predicaments of that simple decision you made. Changing a career means starting from scratch, so you are more likely to be stuck with the “consequences” of a long-term decision that you just made. Whoever you are wanting to please may not actually be there to see the fruit of your decision, sadly. You married Araba because your mom likes Fante girls. Please don’t do that. Weighty decisions need weighty convictions. If the reason for making that choice is too light, it doesn’t make you firm enough to stand by the decision through the test of time.
So don’t even make a decision to please a friend. That friend may not be there in the next phase but the repercussions of that decision still live with you. Even worse, your friend can condemn a decision that they were commending in a previous phase. Do you want to quit your job because your friends say they don’t pay well? My friend, in the next 5 years your friends will be the same people hyping the same job for paying you well. Don’t take people too seriously. They just be saying anything. Stay true to those weighty convictions.
Well, that is enough wisdom for this week. Thank you so much for reading and sharing. I simply can’t thank you guys enough. Resonance is truly grateful.
