The more attached you are to someone or something, the more expectations you have for him/her/it. You’d expect a reciprocation of every affection and effort. Do good to others, not so they will reciprocate it, but because YOU want to do good. Love someone, not so that they will love you back, but because YOU choose to love the person. More people are broken, not just because they chose to love someone, but because they expected similar reciprocation. The easiest way to rid yourself of such expectations is to break such attachments.
In the local sense of the word, attachment signifies a complete reliance on an entity such that the end of that entity is doom on your part as well. Consider an attachment to a firm; the firm takes advantage of your expertise and at the end of the day, chooses to pay you whatever amount they deem appropriate. They may choose not to even pay you. After all, the firm existed without you and will definitely flourish without you. You need them, they don’t. They can therefore use your need for them to their advantage. I may seem to be exaggerating but at least you get the picture.
Goodness cannot be taken advantage of. It is insecurities that people take advantage of, and such insecurities mean you’ll forever be a slave to what you’ve wrongly attached yourself to.
The irony of it is, the very thing you have made your life is what is causing you death if you fall into such a trap. Who have you fallen so much in love with? What have you become so vulnerable to? What has charmed you? Has it made you so blind and desperate that it is slowly eating you up? Is it worth fighting for or you’re just being insecure? Instead of fighting all signs, why don’t you just face your fears?
Engage yourself. Engagement is balance. The value given is the value received. It is togetherness so strong that it’s tantamount to oneness. There is a coming together. Working together. A sharing. No one-way traffic. It’s a win-win situation. None is thinking about taking advantage, rather giving honour. There’s no strife. No insecurities that the other isn’t reciprocating similar effort. Each other’s weaknesses are made up for. Each other’s keeper indeed. When one is separated by distance, misunderstanding or even the vicissitudes of life, the other doesn’t suffocate. A tear is shed and life moves on.
When someone or something gets in the way of such engagement, especially one of importance, necessity and/or mutuality, it is not viewed as one coming to compete with the relationship, whether it’s family or close friends. Because in engagement, we are not slaves to ourselves. We are not entangled, we are connected. Each entity is self-reliant and interdependent. This is the kind of relationship we ought to have with one another, with the environment, and with the universe.
Put yourself in this scenario; Imagine you are in an emergency. Think of people you can call. Those are your real friends.
I used to think this way until I read the exact same idea on the internet. To me, it wasn’t a nice confirmation. It was rather a time of contemplation. There are those who will call me in such a scenario that I can’t call if I find myself in the same scenario. It doesn’t mean we are not friends. We are just not that type of friends. The “scenario” concept is just theoretical. In reality, it’s more complicated than that. It would be therefore detrimental for you to put those who would respond to your emergency in the special category and label all others as fake friends.
No matter how hard you try, whether you are the most approachable person in your workplace, the funniest guy in the world or the most famous entertainer, we all have a small circle. It’s not small just because there are more people outside it than there are in it. No! It’s small because no matter how hard you try to expand it, it will remain small. The more people you add to your small circle, the more likely some others in the small circle will leave. No one has a small circle of 50 people. The goal is to expand your acquaintance circle. That circle can take everyone in the whole world. Expanding the small circle has a great limitation; it can only hold about a dozen people at a time. This leads us to a major misconception that needs to be tackled;
MYTH: FAKE FRIENDS LEAVE, TRUE FRIENDS STAY
Perhaps we’ve all had a “friend” we really thought was our friend till a situation came up. After cutting off the person, we see quotes like these on the internet and we find it so relatable. First of all, no matter how many times the universe is involved, we ultimately choose our friends. We can become acquainted by accident sort of, but no one unintentionally becomes friends with someone by chance. If anything at all, you made an effort to intentionally communicate with the person, which is essential for the growth from just an acquaintance, to being a close friend.
When someone is in your close circle, there is that feeling of “best friends forever”, “you and I against the world”. Though seemingly unrealistic because we do not know the future, it’s necessary that that phase occurs and y’all live in the moment and enjoy every phase of it.
The truth is, some people are gonna leave your inner circle with time. Not anything so personal. It’s just that, life happens. Of course, not all your best friends are gonna be best friends with you forever. Y’all became friends at one phase in your life and may move on when another phase sets in. That’s just the way it is. The truth is, once you’ve been friends with someone through the thick and thin, it doesn’t matter if y’all don’t talk or see each other often; in your hearts, y’all are still friends. In fact, such a friend may even die but you can remember them in your heart for the rest of your life. Are they in your inner circle? No. But they used to be. Such people are in what I call the “good friends” zone.
Am I saying that there’s no such thing as a fake friend? No! All I’m saying is, friends come and go. Real friends. And that is absolutely okay. For some of us, life is gonna take us away from our families and they are gonna leave our inner circle. But they will forever hold a special place in our lives regardless. Truth is, you’re gonna meet your once best friend one day, exchange pleasantries, catch up on the good old times, share memories and then move on. Were they fake friends? No. Not in anyway. We just should’t expect someone to be there for us all the time. It’s beautiful that our journeys criss-cross and we meet people who forever make an impact on our lives, but always remember, we all are on our own individual journeys to our destination. One day, our paths may literally separate us. We should simply know that that path is gonna connect us to many other people who may choose to walk with us as well.
“For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind”
2 Timothy 1:7
One thing that has a force equal to passion and yet as sublime as insecurities is fear. No matter how intelligent you are; no matter how popular you are; no matter how religious you are; if you don’t know how to deal with your fear, your fear will know how to deal with you. Fear is as personal as our interests. My fears are unique and so are yours. In fact, my fears are so unique that defines where my interests lies, shapes what my beliefs are and influences how I see myself.
Yes. Fear can be self-imposed, inherited or even adopted, but there’s a fear within us that is a tangible part of us. As humans, it is proven that we are born with two types of phobias; fear of loud noises – that explains why children cover their ears so hard when they anticipate a loud noise – and the fear of falling, and that all other phobias are learnt. Yet there’s a fear within us that is a tangible part of us.
Isn’t it amazing that a child can play with a sharp knife or can crawl straight into an exposed fire? Perhaps, it’s amazing but it’s definitely stupid. That’s why fear exists. Fear is a natural instinct meant to protect us from harm. When there’s an unidentified danger, everyone in the right frame of mind would first of all run in the opposite direction. Fear is the guard of your life. The easiest way to foolishly die is to be fearless.
Take a minute to think about the many times the fear within you saved your life. It kept you from passing that dark alley. It stopped you from picking that taxi. It made you stay instead of being in a hurry to leave. It made you leave hurriedly instead of staying. We ought to be grateful to our innate fear. It cautioned us without reason or explanation. This is certainly not what you thought I’d say about fear. Contrary to popular belief, fearlessness is more dangerous and stupider than innate fear.
So did God actually give us a spirit of fear? Good question. Imagine you standing by your mom, all smiley and all. Now imagine you being kidnapped right in front of your mom. Does she look afraid? Of course. What’s the point? Fear is a good servant but a bad master. Love should be the master and let fear serve you. When fear is made the master, it distorts your reality, darkens your perspective, shatters your dreams, downgrades your abilities, lowers your self-esteem and weakens your confidence.
In other words, it basically plays it safe. Safe Mode. Fear being the master is overprotective. It will keep you from trying out new things, stepping into new territories and having new experiences. Fear as a master makes you a slave, keeps reminding you of your failures so that you don’t dare to try again. Fear usually makes us think we have no choice. Fear wants to control everything. Fear is more interested in you surviving than living.
“What if you take risk and it puts your life at risk? You can’t do it so don’t even try. What if you fail? What if you succeed and you cannot keep up with the pressure?”. A life ruled by fear is a life filled with unnecessary precautions and no actions.
NB: When your fear poses questions of life that needs solid answers to you, then your fear is your servant. When your fear does not allow you to even think of questioning the status quo even when you know something must be wrong, then fear has been made a master. Innate fear does not put in bondage; it protects you from unknown bondage. When fear is put in charge, you become a slave of yourself, a slave to a reality that does not even exist. It’s all in your head.
So then, what do I do with my fear? Use it. Pay attention to what your fear is paying attention to. Fear is an insignia. Once you have tackled why you fear, what you fear loses its relevance. The more you ignore your fears, the more persistent it becomes in drawing your attention to the problem. Fear is the stop sign in our lives. It is always disapproving, preventing and avoiding. So never think there will be no fear. Fear will faithfully serve you as long as you live. Just make sure you don’t make fear your master.
When Love leads, there is no timidity. Love deposits the power of choice right within you. Love makes us responsible for our choices. Love is freedom. Love gives us a sense of peace and clarity. Love makes us accept what we can’t control and govern what we can control. Love does not control fear. Love governs fear.
Usually, when a choice is presented to someone, it can be reduced to two simple options; it’s either yes or no, good or bad, right or wrong. There are no two ways about that. You can’t be an in-betweener. You cannot sit on the fence. However, liberals believe in a third option. Not everything should be rigid. Why the need for dualistic thinking when we can barely decide on what is right or wrong. In fact, must everything be about right and wrong? We can have an option that is a hybrid of the two, or neither of the two. It is therefore of no wonder that there is such a thing as purgatory.
A Humanly-Devised Happy Ending
In the Apocalypse of Peter, a book not canonised into the Bible, there is an elaborate detail about the punishment in hell for each type of crime and the pleasures given in heaven for each virtue. In the 14th chapter, a chapter that looks like it was added later because it lacks coherence with the overall outlook of the book, there is a very weird story that seems to have a happy ending for everyone. This doctrine is going to be popular once more in the coming generations, thus the need to know. This separate story explains that in the end, God will save all sinners from their plight in Hell:
Thus, in this additional story, sinners will finally be saved by the prayers of those in heaven. Peter then orders his son Clement not to speak of this revelation since God had told Peter to keep it secret: [and God said]”… thou must not tell that which thou hearest unto the sinners lest they transgress the more, and sin“. It sounds like what a Loving God will do, right? Must He eternally punish His very own images because of temporary wrongdoing? Punish them for a moment and later release everyone to Heaven.
God of Justice
God is a Judge! Just like a King, He sits in His Throne Room and judges issues. He is the King of Kings, and His domain extends over all things, even in the kingdom of darkness. Daniel 2:22 says it better, He sees what lies hidden in darkness, though He is surrounded by Light. The kingdom of darkness is ALWAYS in the court of law, accusing each and every one of us day and night based on our actions and God’s commandments. This is a typical scene in the Throne Room;
Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord , and Satan standing at his right side to accuse him. The Lord said to Satan, “The Lord rebuke you, Satan! The Lord , who has chosen Jerusalem, rebuke you! Is not this man a burning stick snatched from the fire?” Now Joshua was dressed in filthy clothes as he stood before the angel. The angel said to those who were standing before him, “Take off his filthy clothes.”
Then he said to Joshua, “See, I have taken away your sin, and I will put fine garments on you.” Then I said, “Put a clean turban on his head.” So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him, while the angel of the Lord stood by. The angel of the Lord gave this charge to Joshua: “This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘If you will walk in obedience to me and keep my requirements, then you will govern my house and have charge of my courts, and I will give you a place among these standing here.
Zechariah 3:1-7 NIV
As aforementioned last week, God is justified in whatever action He decides to choose. With God being a just God, He can declare us guilty and hand us over to our accusers whenever we fall short. Yet, He offers grace, kindness and mercy. However, when we reject His convictions and refuse to admit our wrongdoings, our accusers have a right standing and foothold. It’s like giving someone the opportunity to insult you. As long as you don’t acknowledge that you sinned, that sin has the right to have you in its grip.
Why the Options Are Only Two
By confessing Jesus as your Saviour, there is now no condemnation for you as long as you walk in the Spirit. When God convicts you, He is only saying admit that you are wrong. Even in our court system, once you plead guilty, your sentence reduces drastically as compared to pleading not guilty and losing. You are not pleading guilty to your accusers. You are pleading guilty to the merciful Judge.
The penalty of sin is death. Do you realise that? The side punishments – the torments, beatings and whatever visualisation you have of hell – are the devil’s own creative ideas. The actual penalty is death; being eternally cut off from God, where the forces of darkness can do whatever they want with you. If you lose your grip on Jesus being your lawyer, death will eternally hold you in its grip. So it’s not that God has condemned people to hell eternally. He hasn’t chosen to condemn people, neither did He choose to make it an eternal thing.
It is already an eternal thing. Remember Newton’s 1st law of motion? He rather provided an eternal solution. By conquering death, Jesus rid death of the power to keep holding us in its grip. We have that decision to make in this age, not in the age to come. For in the age to come, God has already judged Death as guilty and condemned Death and Hell into the lake of fire. Must you still submit to death at the time, you are condemned together with it.
In conclusion, there is no purgatory. Simple and short. Heaven is forever. Hell is forever. If you miss one, you can’t miss the other. Blaming God is the easy way out for fools. Don’t be one of them. I love you ❤️
All doctrines are from a Holy Book. Every Christian doctrine, including the false ones, has a Bible verse. “Making it to Heaven” is no different and by far, one of the most misunderstood concept.
The fear of sin, the fear of hell, and even the fear of God’s wrath never saved anybody. You didn’t save yourself in the first place so don’t think Christ has left it to you to “maintain” your salvation. If you fear “losing your salvation”, then you never understood what Christ did on the Cross.
Psalm 118:14 reads, “He has become my salvation”. It means salvation is not athing. Salvationis a person. That person is Jesus, and as long as He lives in you and will never leave you nor forsake you, you have life. Salvation is not a possession; like a substance outside you like money you have. Christ is Salvation. And how seemingly impossible it is to lose Christ. No wonder the Gospel scares many Christians; because it’s too good to be true. It totally sets us free from even our own thinking. But no! We want religion, which is a prison.
The leavens of the Pharisees is slowly rising in what’s meant to be the Unleavened Bread in the saints
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Christians are so stingy with Heaven. They think God is so stingy with Heaven that He doesn’t want just anybody to go there. In Jesus’ parables, it was common people in the streets that entered into the banquet, not the “chosen” ones. Some Christians even lowkey believe some people have been predestined to go to hell because they are not part of the “chosen”. Jesus didn’t save you to put into the “saved category”. It will really shock many Christians to know the kind of people in Heaven; that there are more people in Heaven than in hell. The prodigal son is still a son even if he’s eating pig’s food somewhere. It’s of no wonder at the end of the story, the second son was enjoying and the first born was sad.
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Nothing of God is earned. It is all a gift freely given. Once you think you can earn anything from God by what you do, you have missed the whole point of Grace. God’s awards super-exceeds His rewards. He has already blessed all men with all spiritual blessings in the heavenly places. And this gift of salvation was freely given to all humanity. Your self-righteous works does not make you worthy of going to Heaven. All men were forgiven on the Cross whether they themselves believe it or not. Their accepting is accepting what is already a fact.
When Paul told the Ephesian church to “live a life worthy of your calling”, he is not saying justify your salvation, he is simply saying we are not unworthy anymore so they should stop the false humility and live the God-life to the fullest.
The Bible does not even teach us about making it into Heaven. The whole point of life is not to die and go to heaven. That is not the main point. If your reason for doing good is to make Heaven one day, you don’t understand the Gospel. The Bible rather teaches us how to live life more abundantly. The Bible rather teaches us to love one another, live according to the Will of God and fulfill His purpose for us. Not so we could make it to Heaven. Focusing on making it to Heaven is totally different from focusing on Heaven. All religions believe in the former, but not true Christ-living. It comes as a shock?
Actually, just like the Jews awaiting the Messiah, many Christians pray “thy kingdom come” without knowing that the Kingdom is here, within us. (Luke 17:21). “Focus[ing] on things above” means living from Heaven towards earth. This is what victorious Christian living means.
“Making it to Heaven” means we are not there in the first place; which is contrary of the finished works of Christ that “seated us in heavenly places with Christ” and made us “citizen[s] of Heaven”.
Making it to Heaven also means awaiting a world that hasn’t come so there’s no point living the abundantly life in Christ here; contrary to the mission of Christ stated in John 10:10.
Eternal Life does not begin when we die. There are no promises in the New Covenant. Christ is the fulfillment of every God-given promise. This means once I’m in Christ, I have access to any promise that has ever been made. Jesus told Nicodemus, “whoever believes in the Son has eternal life”. John wrote to the 1st century church, “He who has the Son has life”. It has always been the present. God of the present.
The I Am not I will be. So when people say Heaven is a lifestyle, don’t get annoyed. God intended everything to be a lifestyle. This is even way better than seeing Heaven as a destination.
I don’t need to die to activate eternal life. I need eternal life to deactivate death. When death thinks it has got a hold of me, the Resurrection and the Life sustains His Life within me. Hallelujah! I personally don’t believe in death because “the last enemy to be defeated was death”. Jesus’ finished works include the death of Death. “Now death, where is your sting?”
So before we go around condemning people with our Bible verses, know for sure that the reason why many people are not Christians is because of the lifestyle and condemning ideologies of Christendom. Christians today are arguably the most condemning people in the world. We must go back and check our foundation and belief systems. If it segregates, brings fear or makes us “holier than thou”, then it’s not from God. The Truth is not about who is right. Truth is about what is right.
It’s about time we went back to Christo-centric living, Christo-centric doctrines and Christo-centric mindsets where is about what all about Christ from top to bottom. Why have we set Christ aside and gone back to Old Testament lifestyle? Life is about recognizing Jesus at the center of it all, from salvation to rulership.
“If God didn’t want us to have sex before marriage, He would have given us our sexual organs on our wedding days”, says the fool who refuses to think deep. No boss will pay you a salary on the first day of employment. No tree will bear fruit on the first day of planting. Besides, people in ancient times used to be given in marriage soon after their puberty was discovered. The point is, no one is stopping you from enjoying sexual pleasure. God is rather preventing you from tremendous destruction.
With great freedom comes less safety. Thus, the need to keep sexual pleasure within the safety of a commitment. If you’ve been involved in sexual immorality of any form before, you’d realize it has a really high addictive power. You can get addicted to porn for the majority of your life, fornicate every weekend, masturbate when the opportunity presents itself and lust continuously after someone almost every day. In fact, it is the highest sin one can commit (because it is a sin against your own body: 1 Cor 6:18) and the one that can permanently destroy your life the most.
Yet, let’s not give it all the credit. It is not the most powerful force in the world. It is not the strongest drive. It’s not even the most addictive. Evil always looks like the winner when compared to good. That’s why I like what 1 Peter 1:14 says. Some versions use the word “ignorant”. We were ignorant. That’s why we kept going back. We thought the edge is too strong. That’s why we give in to it all the time. We didn’t know any better.
So how do we live above that? It’s simple, not easy. We need to live as God’s obedient children. God will never lead us into temptation. If we find ourselves in one, His Voice will be loud and clear on what we must do. See it this way; it is more difficult to hear God’s Voice and still disobey. For His Voice will keep ringing in our minds and hearts to flee, to stop, to not venture, to expose the darkness, to unhide the secret sinful life. For no sexual sin can exist in Light.
If you have never indulged in one form of sexual immorality like say, fornication, don’t fancy those who do. Don’t judge them either. In a few years to come, you can find yourself in a similar situation as theirs, if not even worse. If you have made up your mind to keep yourself until marriage, keep that mindset intact. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. Don’t let anyone belittle your virginity to you. Even rags have value, how much more wedding dresses.
If you have dirtied yourself before and you feel devalued, get up from the mud and keep going. It’s not the end of the journey. This may not sound encouraging but there are far worse temptations awaiting you. There are bigger mountains to climb. Don’t let this hill look like it’s the end of the road. If you don’t even care anymore because you’ve gone too far and you’ve been in too deep, I’m here to tell you that it’s not too late. The prodigal son was competing with pigs to eat but the day He returned, His Father gave him the best robe, put a ring on his finger and got sandals on his feet. These three things represent his royalty, authority and dignity. In just one day, he was completely restored and he never went back.
This post is for you. It is exactly what you need to hear right now. There is still hope. Grace is still available. There is still enough power, to stay pure in a sexually immoral world. I love you ❤️
I walked into a store with unending rows of colourful fruits and produce. I just didn’t know what to pick. Everything looked so pleasing and satisfying. In fact, I wanted everything at the store. I went to the counter to negotiate if such a transaction was possible. In my spirit, I knew that I knew in my heart of hearts that the young man with bright countenance behind the counter was Jesus. He asked me with a still small voice, “what is your heart desire?”. I hesitated a bit to think whether what I had in mind was also what I had in heart.
I exclaimed, “I want love, and joy, and happiness, and freedom, and peace, and everything on that entire shelf, and that shelf, and that shelf, and everything in the store – for me and for the whole world”. My voice was so loud and the smile on my face, so wide. I was panting with excitement, patiently waiting to see what He would say. He smiled and said, “It’s free”. What He said sparked so much exuberance in me that I screamed, “I want it all”. Looking right into my eyes and smiling gently, He spoke softly once more, “I don’t give out fruits. Only seeds”.
There is no peace in this world, trust me. It all goes downhill immediately you are born. Trouble upon trouble, and bad times last a whole lot longer. Peace is a heavenly ecosystem that does not exist in this world. It is not the absence of war. It is the presence of God. It is the stillness of the soul, and this stillness is only produced in the souls of those who spend time with God. Peace is a piece of God. This piece grows in our hearts and eventually fills our minds. Peace is a fruit, not a seed. It cannot be imparted. It cannot be given as a fruit. It can only be cultivated into a fruit. You want peace? Spend time in God’s presence.
Where there is patience, there is peace. Why? Because what you hold on to by faith defies what you see by sight. Patience needs the seed of knowledge to bear fruit. It’s not just head knowledge. It’s an epignosis. It’s the kind of knowledge that makes you patient in hard times, “for we know that all things work together for good”. Patience is only produced in one who holds on to the Seed (the Word of God) of promise until its manifestation. It is trusting in the dark what God told you in the light. If you don’t believe that God has a bigger plan for you than the one that just fell apart, you cannot be patient. You need to hear His Voice and hold on to His Word before the raging storms come your way.
There are enough stars in the galaxy for every species on planet Earth, and enough planets for each person. There’s definitely got to be a reason why we are all here. The very first metaphor God used for humans was a tree. As a tree, we are seed-bearing fruits. Within every man is a seed, and a woman a “fertile land”, to bear the fruit of the womb. The fruit borne produces more seeds if he be a man. That’s not just the cycle of reproduction. It is also the law of multiplication. We are meant to produce after our own kind in every good way. Reproduce love in your relationships. Reproduce your joy in other people’s lives. Reproduce peace into their situations. Reproduce your life. That is the reason we are all here. To multiply and fill the earth. With love, kindness, peace, joy, faithfulness, and every good seed God has sown into our lives. Sow seeds into people’s lives.
Purpose is a simple thing. It’s not any super-spiritual phenomenon that quakes the earth when you tell people. It mostly can be summarised into a simple sentence or even simple words. It’s not far-fetched, hidden in some foreign land and needs years to discover. It’s within you, gradually showing its head in the outcome of your simple decisions.
The first step to knowing your purpose is to start from the general. Are you female? Then it’s your purpose to reproduce and incubate life. You may not give birth and still fulfil this purpose in another way. Are you the firstborn? Then it’s your purpose to take care of your siblings and set the pace for them. It doesn’t mean you have to be the greatest but you definitely need to be a leader. Your purpose is tied to your identity. Know God’s Will for your life according to God’s Word. Are you the light of the world? God desires that you let your light shine to bring glory to Him. If you know who you are in Christ and you let the Word of God come alive in you, you are fulfilling your purpose.
Purpose is not something you fulfil at the peak of your life when your dreams come true. Jesus fulfilled His purpose as a human from the very day He was born till He died. In fact, His utterances, actions, daily decisions, walking paths; everything He did confirm the Word of the Lord spoken about Him in the Old Testament. It’s a daily fulfilment thing that adds up to the ultimate fulfilment. The school you attended was all in God’s plan for you. It determined the kind of people God directed to come into your life. Yet you didn’t overthink it, did you? Of course. Same with every purpose God has for your life. Don’t overthink it.
When it comes to Pursuit, the key is to not pursue many things. If you pursue everything, you pursue nothing. Pursue God firstly and mostly. No pursuit should exceed your pursuit of God, not even the things of God. Some men and women of God have pursued ministry more than God, thinking pursuing ministry meant pursuing God. You can pursue any other thing. Just make sure it’s few and that God is the most pursued. Lastly, pursue with passion. What is a pursuit without passion?
Passion is fuel, not a hobby. Once you realize it’s fuel, you would use it to pursue your goals effortlessly. Passion is a fire that needs to be rekindled time and again. Note: Once you disconnect yourself from purpose, the passion within you begins to die down. Once you pursue something else more than God, you lose your passion for God. To be passionate about the things that do matter to you, remember and reconnect yourself with your purpose. It’s not about what you are passionate about; it’s about what you pour your passion into. If you strike two rocks hard enough, you might spark a fire.
This is my adage for you: Pursue your purpose with passion.
Life promises you so much beyond your imagination on the day of your arrival. Literally everyone has a clean sheet and a bright future. However, we stepped in blind from a dark womb. Our own cry puzzles us. Aren’t we supposed to be happy to be born? And this one that I’ve caused such extreme pain, why is she pretending to be happy? Will it cause similar pain to leave this realm?
It didn’t take me long to know that life is a driver, who has no idea where he’s taking me. Or perhaps, he makes me the driver, having no experience and bumping into situations and circumstances beyond my control well enough before figuring out there are no brakes. To add insult to injury, the steering wheel is as stiff as my thinking. Unable to see the road, my vision is shortsighted. Can’t see the bigger picture, ’cause there are so many details in the little I can see.
After being able to figure out how to drive after so many mistakes, pain and hurt, I realise I’m in the middle of one gigantic labyrinth with so many drivers as reckless and clueless as me. When you do not know where you’re going, any road will take you there. I try to find my path. Once in a while, I take a hit from other vehicles. Some leave a permanent scar on my skin. Some, just a bruise. All take so long to heal.
What we all have in common is brokenness. No matter how careful or reckless you are, it’s indubitably inevitable.
Many begin to follow my tracks. Little do they know that U have no idea where I’m headed. With time we each began to find our path. Some, much earlier; others, a little later. And oh, the joy of riding in my own lane, competing with no one as no one in their path competes with me. I ask you to take your time to look all around you. What life once promised comes to mind,
Find your path & know your place, the right people will eventually come along
Life is not meant to be figured out. Life is meant to be lived. In the end, it will all make sense. For the time being, life is not entitled to make sense to you. God has His own way of connecting dots that we thought weren’t part of the story. So live. Live to the fullest. Live life more abundantly. For when we have life, we can have everything else. But when we lose the Life, we lose everything.
In Matthew, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary rose up at dawn to go and balm the dead body of Jesus because they couldn’t do it the evening he died, which was the Sabbath. They went to meet a mighty angel sitting on the rolled stone. The angel told them to go and tell the rest of the disciples, and that Jesus had gone ahead of them to Galilee. In their joy and fright, they meet Jesus along the way. Jesus also echoes and affirms the angel’s report.
In Mark, it was Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Salome who rose up at dawn to go and anoint Jesus’ body. They were contemplating on how they’d roll the stone away. When they got there, the stone had been rolled away and an angel was sitting on the right side. Trembling and bewildered, the women left and told no one anything because they were afraid. Then Jesus appeared to only Mary Magdalene, who went to tell the rest of the disciples about the Resurrection. Jesus appeared to two other disciples and later appeared to the Eleven.
In Luke, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, Joanna and some other women took their spices and went to the tomb and arrived right after sunrise. They found the stone rolled away, and the tomb empty. Suddenly, two men appeared. The angel told them to remember the words of Jesus concerning His Resurrection, which they did. They came back to tell the other disciples but they didn’t believe. So Peter run back to check for himself and met an empty tomb and went away, wondering what had happened. On that same day, Jesus appeared to the two disciples Mark talked about, on the road to Emmaus.
In John, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed. So she went running to Simon Peter and John, complaining that Jesus’ body had been stolen. So Peter and John run to the tomb. They both found the tomb empty, with the cloth and linen lying there. They went away. Mary Magdalene still stayed, crying. She bent over to look in the tomb and saw two angels in white. They only asked her why she was crying. After replying, she turned and saw Jesus but didn’t recognize Him, thinking he was the gardener. Jesus mentioned her name again and she finally recognized Him. Jesus spoke to her and she ran to tell the disciples that she had seen the Lord.
Before I go on, it is necessary to point out that each of the Gospel writers had a clear purpose and emphasis set out to accentuate a specific and special image of Jesus. Therefore, each detail they add or didn’t add was because of what they want to emphasize.
At least five women went to the tomb since Luke names three of them and then says “other women” went too (at least two). Notice that Matthew does not say that only two women were there. Mark does not say that only three women were there. They simply focus on the women they name. They arose while it was still dark according to John and reached the tomb right after sunrise.
Prior to their arrival, Matthew tells us that there was a great earthquake, for an angel descended and rolled back the stone and sat on it. The women were contemplating how they’d roll the stone but went and saw it removed. There were two angels. Neither Matthew nor Mark claims that only one angel was at the tomb. The complete number does not appear in their accounts and clearly wasn’t the emphasis of the story.
Apparently, Mary Magdalene left the other women to alert Peter and John. Based on her comment about not knowing the location of the Lord’s body, it seems that she was not among the women who encountered the angels at the tomb.
Meanwhile, the other women entered the tomb and encountered the angels. Mary Magdalene first left the tomb and entered nearby Jerusalem to get Peter and John. During that time, the other women encountered the angels and then left the tomb to set out on the two-mile trip to Bethany to tell the other disciples about the Resurrection. They may have stopped along the way to tell Clopas and an unnamed disciple about the morning’s events (Luke 24:22–24), or they may have split up so that a couple of them could inform these men. In all likelihood, “the wife of Clopas” was among these women (John 19:25).
Meanwhile, Peter, John, and Mary raced to the tomb. The men entered the tomb, saw the grave clothes, and then left. Mary stayed behind, weeping outside the tomb. When she looked into the tomb, she saw two angels (John 20:12), and after explaining her grief to them, she turned around and saw the Savior (John 20:16). After Mary departed to tell Peter and John about seeing the risen Lord, Jesus appeared to the other women who were on their way to Bethany (Matthew 28:9).
The remaining appearances of Christ on that day are much easier to follow. Luke wrote about Clopas and a companion meeting the Lord while they walked from Jerusalem to Emmaus. They did not recognize Him until He broke bread with them (Luke 24:30–31). They immediately returned to Jerusalem to share the good news of the Resurrection with the disciples, without Thomas (John 20:19–24). Upon their arrival, they were told by the disciples that Jesus had appeared to Simon Peter (Luke 24:34; see also1 Corinthians 15:5).
So you see, the entire story fits like a jigsaw puzzle. As a learner, don’t be too quick to draw conclusions. If you are always quick to draw conclusions, you won’t learn anything. Wait for the story to unfold before your eyes. The fact that someone’s account is different from the other doesn’t mean one is true and the others aren’t. Though they all went into different details to expatriate the Resurrection story, the whole story comes together to tell one big true and eternal story: Jesus has Risen.
It’s commonplace for friends to fight or have trouble getting along. Though fights aren’t easy to move forward from, they can make your relationship even better. Small battles can sometimes turn into big ones and you might have to work hard to sort it out. So it’s not surprising that a fight with a friend can be as heartbreaking as an argument with a partner. But conflict doesn’t have to lead to a “friendship breakup.”
The greatest interpersonal skill you could ever have is learning how to resolve misunderstandings, conflicts, quarrels, fights and issues that arise with time in every relationship. It’s not whether you fight or not; it’s whether you resolve your issues or let pride from both sides separate the bond. The best fights don’t occur between strangers. They occur between friends who trust each other. Once you learn how to resolve conflicts, you will no more fear that one could ruin everything for y’all. Let’s talk about some two things we lose sight of that could lead to friendship breakup;
Stop Avoiding the Issue by Pretending Everything is Fine
A small misunderstanding can turn into a big friendship breakup in the end if you pretend the disagreement never happens, so keep the lines of communication open. Talking through the situation is best because letting the situation linger can develop into feelings of neglect, disrespect, or even anger. Before you get heated with a friend, take a mental step back and really listen to what he says. If you’re not mature enough to respect others’ opinions, then perhaps the friendship breakup is the best option. But if you would like to mend the friendship, then apologize, and listen to the other person’s point of view. At the end of the day, people want to be heard.
We all make mistakes, but we all don’t admit that we do. Model how to be humble and how to talk about problems, and be bluntly honest about your own thoughts and feelings.” Express concern for the problem at hand and take responsibility for your own failures while learning from them.
It is Not Just About Having Good Intentions
I promised to send Bernice out on a date to KFC. I was so damn late and kept answering her calls with reassurance that I am already close by. Upon my arrival, I had a good excuse about how stressful my programme of study was and how I couldn’t finish my tasks on time. I apologised but Bernice was still mad. Not only did my explanations not soothe her, but they also seemed to make things worse. That started to make me angry.
Do you know what the problem was? I was stuck in my own perspective. I didn’t mean to be late, but that’s not the point. The point is that I was late. The point — and what’s important in my communication with her — is how my lateness impacted Bernice.” In other words, I was focused on my intention, while Bernice was focused on the consequences. She and I were having two different conversations. In the end, we both felt unacknowledged, misunderstood, and angry. The more I thought about the issue, the more I recognized that this battle—intention vs. consequences—was the root cause of so much interpersonal discord.
As it turns out, it’s not the intention that counts or even the action that counts. That’s because the other person doesn’t experience your thought or your action. He or she experiences the consequences of your action. When you’ve done something that upsets someone—no matter who’s right—always start the conversation by acknowledging how your actions affected the other person. Save the discussion about your intentions for later. Much later. Maybe never. Because in the end, your intentions don’t matter much.
What if you don’t think the other person is justified in feeling the way he or she does? It doesn’t matter. You’re striving for understanding, not for agreement. What I have found is that once I’ve expressed my understanding of the consequences, my need to justify my intentions dissipates. That’s because the reason I’m explaining my intentions is to repair the relationship. But I’ve already accomplished that by empathizing with her experience.
Misunderstandings are inevitable in life. Look, no two people will always think or act the exact same way. You will not always see eye-to-eye with friends. It’s necessary to place value on friendship. Remind yourself that there is one in a billion chances to meeting with such a person and connecting in the first place. You are not friends by chance or because you see them five times a week. You’re friends with Rhoda because you respect and value her.
Remember, everyone changes—including you. Basically, you’re not perfect, and they’re not perfect. Chances are, you’ve inadvertently hurt them as well, either past or present, so own that emotion and recognize it, which may make it easier to forgive. It takes two to tango, even in a friendship.
There is always new medical research that helps us live longer, a brand new technology that changes our lifestyle, and a new software app more interesting than our schooling system. Perhaps, it’s because the school system has barely changed. Let me not bore you with the details of the early formal schools but trust me, there is barely any drastic changes within those four walls of the classroom. The schooling system is slowly catching up with modern-day technology, let’s admit. However, the relevance of the things we are taught – and more importantly, not taught – is where the actual problem is. Oh, this is up for debate!
School is Not so Bad, Trust Me
Count all the friends you have. 80% of them, you met in school. Your acquaintances? Same percentage. School has always been the foundation for our lives. Being together with people in the same age group who are figuring out their lives like you are. Sounds interesting. Your values, perceptions, attitudes, lifestyle, interpersonal relations, opinions. These are things you pick up from school. Children go to school so early in their lives that whatever “foundation” that was laid at home can be made or unmade in school.
Forget about everything for a second. This system of school is responsible for 80% of your life; food habits, social skills, vocal expression, some of your greatest memories, even your most embarrassing moments. Enjoy your first 20+ years in school well. Don’t wait till you’re working a 9 to 5 routine to acknowledge how dynamic school was. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Life is Mathematics
One of the ways people bash school is weaning that they never used y=mx+c – or any other mathematical formula for that matter – in real life. Why is school teaching you calculus and not how to do your taxes? Well, first of all, who said we don’t use mathematical formulae in our everyday lives? Did you cross the road yesterday? Your mind subconsciously did all the necessary calculations. Have you climbed the stairs, kicked a ball into a net, dodged something thrown at you, guessed the time you would be able to reach your destination or put food in your mouth? See, all these were calculations your brains made. It just didn’t “show working”.
Isaac Newton said it better, “every problem – and for that matter, every solution – is mathematical in nature”. In other words, everything can be mathematically expressed. A formula can be derived for everything. Google it, there is a mathematical equation for gravity, motion, love, even music. You never knew you had a brain till you learnt about it in school. Mind you, you wouldn’t have ever known you had one because you can’t see your brain and be alive at the same time. What’s the point? School taught you what you knew without knowing you knew. Must have been interesting for your brain to understand what a brain is and what it does.
the Real Essence
Even though you’re not going to apply half of the things you learn directly in your life, trust me, you’ll apply them indirectly all the time. Especially the ones that stick with you. All knowledge – applicable or non-applicable – is important. School has expanded our brains in ways no other societal body could have. In school, we are exposed to more opportunities and aspects. Eventually, we discover what we really resonate with and understand the most. Though we may rather choose to go into a field that earns us more income instead of a field we love – another dilemma of life – it was a school that exposed us to them all.
So the question now is, why do we need to bash school? The theory is too much? The stress is overwhelming? It’s too much hard work, which is meant to be an archaic concept? Let’s talk more about this next weekend. Do you agree or not? Let’s hear what you think in the comments section.
