Resonance

Being Alone vs Being Lonely II

The continuation of a conversation between Emmanuel Bugyei and I.

Bugyei: But the thing everyone is so wrapped up in their existence so they can’t see when someone desperately wants them and their company. Statuses also divide us even further; another person’s looks, friends, walk, talk it all differentiates us.

Me: Yeah!

People of class and stature have an overdose of attention. But sometimes they feel very lonely because they feel people care about them because of what they have and what they put up. Loneliness is only cured when we’re accepted for who we are freely.

Bugyei: They also reject those who see them for who they truly are. So can there really be any cure?

Me: The need for love is just like that for sleep or food. Abraham Maslow called it a social need and placed in the middle of the pyramid. It actually needs to be satisfied daily

Bugyei: What about self-love, is that not enough?

Me: It is, but there’s a journey towards it.

It’s like kids. They must be nurtured until they can nurture on their own. Unfortunately, not everyone reaches maturity but everyone starts off as a child.

At the highest maturity and enlightenment, we don’t need Love because we are Love. We are all one with God, the source of Love.

Bugyei: And for those who are not Christian?.

Me: We all go through a similar journey on this one, regardless of our beliefs and labels.

The danger, however, is when we slash hard on people so desperate for another’s affection. We are called to love, not to shame people into loving themselves.

People eventually learn to love themselves when they’ve received so much love. A child once asked, “can I be a good father if I’ve never been loved?”

Bugyei: And what was the answer?

Me: He wasn’t answered. It brought tears in the eyes of the adults around. His father was a drunkard who always abused his mom. He was taken away from him and sent to a foster home, where he asked this question to a preacher preaching about God’s love.

I hope you enjoyed this insightful conversation.  Loneliness is as bad for you as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, as dangerous as obesity, and increases the likelihood of an early death by 26%.

Let’s kill loneliness before it kills us. I hope this conversation compels you to love fully and freely; to accept people for who they are; to love with a purpose and without condition. Remember, where there is purpose and acceptance, loneliness suffocates.

I love you

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