What is Wrong with Pre-marital Sex? Part II

In our modern era, the concept of pre-marital sex is often met with a mix of acceptance and controversy. While some may argue for its liberation from societal constraints, a closer examination reveals the profound implications of engaging in such intimate relations outside the confines of marriage.

Let’s delve into the heart of the matter, shall we? Pre-marital sex, at its core, undermines the sanctity of commitment and the sacred bond between partners. It cheapens the act of intimacy, reducing it to a mere physical transaction devoid of emotional depth and spiritual significance. In a world where instant gratification reigns supreme, the fleeting pleasures of the flesh obscure the profound connection that can only be forged within the sanctity of marriage.

Trust is like an egg. So fragile yet so precious. When cracked, it can never return to its original state. There are only two reasons why we don’t trust someone; 1. Because we know them. 2. Because we don’t know them. It is also possible to trust someone in one area and not in the other. Once you and your partner couldn’t wait for the ice cream to be served and went in right away to scoop when no one was watching shows that you are not going to trust him/her around any person of the opposite sex in any candy shop. You don’t trust him/her because you know him/her. Do you trust your gossip partner to keep your secrets? Anyone who betrayed with you will betray you. Anyone who gossips with you will gossip about you. That is what pre-marital sex does. You’ve both lost your trust for each other without realising. Once your spouse is not home at a certain hour, your heart begins to race. If you and your spouse could hide in the dark and commit such an act, what stops your spouse from committing that act behind your back whenever things go south?

Even worse, you’re not going to trust your kids when they come of age. You knew what you were doing when you were their age, and although it’s not something you’re proud of at that time of your life, you are still going to act paranoid when your children are not in your view. If you want to trust your children to make the right decision even in your absence, trust yourself to make one today. This kind of behaviour produces two kinds of parents: strict parents and indifferent parents. Strict parents usually have a past they never disclose to their kids. Their overprotective behaviour is usually unsuccessful in stopping their children from tasting the forbidden fruit. Indifferent parents don’t care anymore and are usually still in their “hoe phase”. He is never there as a Dad and she doesn’t have it in her to be a Mom. Did all this start from a small mistake? Not necessarily. It started from a continuously made mistake one refused to admit.

Women, this paragraph is for you. Although men always say they want to test it for sexual compatibility before they put a ring on it, statistics show that men eventually settle with a virgin. It’s like using Toyota for a test drive and then buying the Benz. Men are insecure around women who have had a sexual relationship with someone else although women don’t mind if the guy just came out of a sexual relationship. Double standards! No guy wants a Jezebel or a Delilah, huh? So why are they playing the role of Ahab? It’s the stereotypical fallen nature of men. They think their promiscuity is natural and justifiable. Although they associate seduction with feminism, their ego is suddenly hurt when they realise you have more sexual experience. It takes two hands to clap, yet one hand is shamed in society. Don’t fall into this trap. You can’t change societal thinking in one lifetime. Even in Jesus’ time, they caught and brought only the adulterous woman as if she slept with a ghost. If you want that adulterous woman to be judged fairly, be like Jesus not the adulterous woman. You can’t solve a problem while still contributing to its stereotype.

One of the most powerful things about life is the paradox of knowledge. The more you know, the more you realise you don’t know. Once you think you know so much, it is proof of your naivety. As a lifelong learner, one of your hallmarks is looking back at your last decade and realising how naive you were. Once you are in your 20s, you realise how naive you were as a teenager and how your parents were not wrong after all. Same as your 30s. You realise how naive you were in your 20s. Same as your 40s and 30s. Once you don’t realise how naive you were in your last decade, it’s proof that you stopped learning somewhere along the way. Why I’m I saying all this? Because if you’re in your 20s having pre-marital sex, you’re naive. You didn’t think about the repercussions to any degree. You didn’t think about how it will affect you even in your 40s. You didn’t even learn any lessons from those who made that same mistake in decades past. You didn’t think about your family; the one you have and the one you’ll have. It was just some one-dimensional thinking and a hope that you two will live happily ever after.

Do you realise that no one is stopping you from having sex? Sex is not wrong. However, just like in biology, when you place a function out of its purpose, you abuse it. That is what perversion is. It’s the wrong version. Do you want to have sex? Great. So do almost all youthful people you know (although they may not want to admit it). That desire is not wrong. It’s natural. Yet, it does not make it right. It’s natural to feel like killing someone who stole all the money you have in the world. It does not make it right. How do you make it right then? Devoid of all the shame, guilt, emptiness and baseless justifications? God has our best interests always. He commanded us not to commit incest long before medical research revealed that incest has dire repercussions. He knows what’s best.

….to be continued. Kindly leave a comment.