Sex Addictions & Cravings: How Our Bodies Lie to Us

Experts speculate up to 10 per cent of the total Christian population in the United States have a sexual addiction. If true, this means that in a congregation of 500 members, 50 are sex addicts. And this percentage may be increasing. In one study, two-thirds of all Christian men admitted to “struggling” with pornography. In another study, 40 per cent of pastors surveyed confessed to looking at pornography. Christians who struggle pray ceaselessly, read the Bible constantly and consult countless pastors, but still can’t stop.

You may think you don’t know a sex addict. Sex addicts, however, do not fit the popular stereotypes. They are otherwise gentle and kind. They care deeply for others. To fellow church members, they appear to be ideal Christians. But a secret side of them does evil and harmful things, sexual things, some of them too horrible to fully describe. Their sexual activity is uncontrollable and they can’t stop. It is an addiction.

Sexual sin is not news to the church. Voices among us have consistently protested this immorality and called for repentance. Yet sexual sin remains a difficult topic to talk about. When “one of us” commits sexual sin, the rest of us are shocked and embarrassed by the apparent hypocrisy and massive failure of faith. In response, we turn inward to our own shame, fears, and confusion, and try to keep the situation as quiet as possible.

Those who suffer from sexual addiction have been laughed at, scorned, and persecuted. Too consumed by shame to ask for help, they have been confined to lives of loneliness and isolation.

Sexual addiction is about trying to control behaviours—and failing. Just like alcoholics, sex addicts tell themselves they can quit tomorrow if they want to. They like to think they are in control, but they are not. Indeed, their inability to give up the illusion of control is precisely what prevents sex addicts from healing. It is the same with any sin. Our attempts to control our lives prevent us from trusting God to care for us.

The Root Cause

Sin is the lack of a relationship with God and the destructive behaviours committed as a result. Unmanageable and causes people to distrust God, to control their own lives, and to commit behaviours destructive to themselves and others, sin causes shame and leads to death. Unmanageability, escape, shame, and—for some—addiction make up the very fabric of sin.

Addiction is living a lie because, although you think you think you’re enjoying yourself because your body feels so good, you are sad deep within. Addiction provides an escape from feelings; feelings of discomfort, disdain, shame, abandonment, neglect, rejection, low self-esteem, and what have you. After you commit the sexual act, you have to come to the real world and face your problems.

Do you think you have an addiction? Are your sexual cravings too strong? Click on this link here.

There’s hope ❤

This post is an excerpt from Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction by Mark Laaser

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