One of the lessons we need to learn very quick in life is that we cannot avoid getting hurt. It is only those who are wounded that get healed. It’s only those who mourn that get comforted. First time I heard the song, “Brokenness is what I long for”, I was confused. It makes complete sense now. Pain is inevitable. Sometimes they could have been avoided if we had taken the right decision, but we can’t reverse time. What we can do is learn the lesson the long way and make better decisions in the future.
But some pain is absolutely inevitable. No man has never walked the earth without encountering that pain. The pain from the passing on of a loved one. The pain of losing someone close to you; someone you trusted; someone you thought would always be there. There is also the pain of false accusations. When even the people close to you speak negative about you. It is not just an African thing. It is everywhere. Prepare yourself for it. It happened to Jesus too.
First of all, when you lose a loved one or any other inevitable circumstance come your way, allow yourself to feel pain. Wallowing in pain is bad; not allowing yourself to feel pain is equally bad. Immediately you fall into such a situation and you “swallow” the pain, you store it in your threshold. One day that threshold will be full. It may be triggered by a totally innocent person or situation. It can cause you to break down for a relatively longer period of time. What you would feel will not be pain but grief. This is certainly not the way to deal with pain.
To Jesus, weeping for Lazarus was not doubt. It was humanity. People confuse faith with aggression. When such a situation arises, they try to act all tough in the name of religion. If you develop that habit, you will involve yourself in weeping behind closed doors while pretending to be strong in front of people. Avoid that trap. Many pastors have lived in this trap. It is a living hell. Always be sincere and honest about how you feel, especially to yourself.
That is not say live your life by how you feel. But how you feel often says a lot about how you are and how you think.
In the same vein, when you start rising on the ladder of destiny and people you cherish stand to point accusing fingers at you, allow yourself to feel the pain. You don’t want to store pain in your heart. You want to store love instead. And sometimes pain comes to crack our hearts open in order to reveal the content; what we are made of. People often say, “they don’t really know how I am. That’s why they are fooling with me.” God has been looking in your heart since, and now every hidden thing you didn’t even know was inside will be revealed in that moment. God is in the business of winning hearts and giving His heart of flesh for your hearts of stone.
Never forget this in this situation; don’t talk back to your accusers. After all, some of what they are saying will be true. When Jesus told Zaacheus that He would stay in his house, his own town people called him a sinner. Zaacheus will be hurt. He will be embarrassed. It was really shameful. But Zaacheus never tried to defend himself or even talk back to the people. He spoke to Jesus rather. If anybody would have listened at all, it would have been Jesus. Jesus knows your pain because He feels it too. He is one with you. Open your heart to Him about it.
I love you