Coping with Finances as a Couple

If there is one thing that is forever relevant in the world system, it is finances. Throughout human history, legal tender has changed. The complexity of the legal tender always reflected the monetary system put in place for financial transactions to be possible. However, the need and relevance has barely changed; only evolving with time.

Gone is the generation where the woman only stays home to take care of the house while the man goes out to work for sustenance. In our world today, for the family to fluorish financially both parents step out the door for work. This has brought about new challenges on coping with finances.

In this life, realize that sitting to think about a situation before venturing into it is the best way to tackle that situation. Thus, this write-up is really necessary for singles and young couples. Trust me, if you don’t plan beforehand what you’ll say when – for instance – you go for an interview, what you’ll do when you are broke etc, you can end up embarrassing yourself or making an avoidable wrong decision. Even thieves plan what they’ll do when they are about to get caught. You hope for the best, yes: but do plan for the worst.

Here are 3 outlined things I have come to understand about this issue;

1. Each one ought to have their own money

As a couple, the idea of doing everything together sounds romantic. Actually, it’s not always realistic. You are not two halves making a whole. You are individuals coming together as a couple. So you need to have a life of your own, complemented by the life you share with your partner. In simple English when it comes to finances, have your own money. Don’t put all your money together.

If you put your money together, if you’re broke you’re broke together. Yet, if you had your own money separate from the one you had together, one can be broke for a season and be supported by the other. In this way, you fulfill the reason for being a couple.

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

Ecclesiastes 4:9‭-‬10 NLT

2. Balance

Complement each other. Divide major expenditure brackets among yourselves. As a man, I will take care of the car. As a woman, you take care of the rent. So once payday is due, everyone knows what they are taking care of. It could even be in percentages. As a man, I will take care of 40% of the school fees while the lady takes care of the 60%. There is no formula to this. It does not need to be rigid or fixed because circumstances change often. It really depends on the level of understanding between the two of you.

Compromise, don’t compete. Usually, men feel inferior when their partner makes more money than they do. It feels like the woman would get to make more vital decisions in the relationship because of how important finances are. That notwithstanding, your partner is your helper and not your competition. You are not trying to beat them. You both are coming together to face life. So you need everything you can get, including extra cash from a richer spouse.

3. Understand your financial personality

Depending on how we were brought up and the coping skills we picked along the way, we tackle finances differently. We can however group everyone under two main umbrellas. “Saving-oriented” and “Spending-oriented”. Proverbs 13:7 says “some who are poor pretend to be rich; others who are rich pretend to be poor.”

It’s human nature to “waste” resources once there’s that feeling that there’s more than enough resources available. This is because human wants are insatiable. Immediately you get enough money, you tend to feel more comfortable and begin to spend on your insatiable wants. That is natural.

Nonetheless, there are people who develop a saving-oriented attitude towards money. They are slow to spend, critical of the amount they have at the moment and barely buy out of impulse. The Spending-oriented easily releases money, doesn’t count until it’s almost finished and usually don’t know how their money run low so fast.

A couple who are both Spending-oriented is a disasterclass. They will end up spending three-month salary in advance. When both are saving-oriented, it’s bad in a different way. Ask them rich kids who look rich but aren’t allowed to spend rich. They are so rich yet live so poor. Proverbs 13:7 is so true.

Thus, identify your financial personality as a couple. Who likes spending? Who has cultivated a unique habit of saving? Who doesn’t count the cost until the money is finished? Who has so much money but still lives within their initial budget? Understanding who is what creates the balance both of you need. After all, coming together as a couple ought to strengthen your strengths and weaken your weaknesses. Where one falls short, the other is a suitable helper.

I hope you’ve learnt so much from this. Please leave a comment. I would like to hear from you. Speaking of finances, this website is monetized so please do well to like and share to any platform you know would help. I love you ❤

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